Writer:	Don Medford, Steve Meixell, Christopher Crowe
Director:	Don Medford
Star:	Tom Ewell (Billy Truman),  Edward Grover (Lt. Hal Brubaker [ 2-4 ]),  Robert Blake (Det. Tony Baretta)
Guest Star:	Sandy Freeman (Nurse),  Troas Hayes (Hooker),  Chris Mulkey (Joshua),  Shera Danese (Jill),  Pernell Roberts (Johnny Hillman),  Debi Richter (Cary),  Steve Tanner (Theodore),  Lou Tiano (Marty the Bartender),  Maile Souza (Shirley),  Susan Heldfond (Lori Di Stefano),  Marc Vahanian (Sonny Benton),  Mario Roccuzzo (Joey Di Stefano)

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Billy: Bertel, Bertel means bright, Beavis, Beavis means the bull.
Baretta: No, no, no Billy my boy, you got the wrong slant here, if you are gonna be the Godfather for this little Autralian whipper, you got to start out by thinkin' big. BIG ONO GROSSO, like Christopher Columbus, Leonardo da Vinci, Amergio Vespucci, those are the names that shaped the entire destiny of our universe. You dig.
Billy: Theodoric, how about Theodoric.
Baretta: What the hell kinda name is that?
Billy: It's got richness, originality, texture, it's different. Yeah he'd be the only kid in the neighborhood with that name.
Baretta: He'll be the only kid in the neighborhood with a cronic bloody nose, Theodoric, they'd be callin' him Paradoric, and all kinda names like that.
Billy: I like it.
Baretta: You like it, what do you know? You gonna be his Godfather you can't even pronounce his last name. Fred says it better than you.
Billy: Then let the chicken be the Godfather.
Baretta: Gimme that book, whip it over here, I will choose you a name that the boy will be proud of. Let me see here, Ronnie, Rick, Richard, Ralph, what kind of names are these, they ain't no Autralian names in this book. This book is prejudice. I'm gonna contact the ACLU, these folks don't like Olive Oil.
Billy: How did Popeye get into this conversation? (edit) Billy: A little volka in your coffee, that'll wake ya up. (edit) Brubaker: Listen I got the story on Hillman here for ya. Yeah, he's into a whole lotta things, what he's into mostly is blackmail. The D.A.'s been after him for years, he's never been able to get a thing on him. He only goes for heavyweights. These people can't stand scandal.
Baretta: Oh yeah. Well that don't figure, well how come they would knock the guy off, he's the goose that's layin' the golden egg.
Brubaker: Don't ask me, we're outta it, this ones goin' to the Special Squad.
Baretta: Special Squad! What is that?
Brubaker: Yeah, yeah the D.A.'s involved in it now.
Baretta: The D.A.!
Brubaker: Simpson had a call into the D.A. before he was snuffed. He never got a chance to talk to him, that's why the D.A.'s in it now.
Baretta: Oh, I got it. Mr. Simpson had a belly full and he was gettin' ready to roll over, so they snuffed him.
Brubaker: Yeah it looks that way but it don't make no difference now this one goes to Special Squad.
Baretta: Na, na, na, now hold on just a second Boss, listen you saw the condition that chick was in right.
Brubaker: I saw a guy get fried.
Baretta: Gimme three days, and I'll make that Special Squad look like Donald Duck and his soldiers. And what are they gonna do, arrest me on account of I solved a crime. Ain't that right, think about it. (edit) Baretta: I should'a been the first Autralian president of the United States. (edit)

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