Writer:	Andy Riley, Kevin Cecil, Dylan Moran
Star:	Dylan Moran (Bernard Ludwig Black),  Tamsin Greig (Fran Katzenjammer),  Bill Bailey (Manny Bianco)
Guest Star:	Patricia Franklin (Customer),  Paul Hunter (Roland),  Alice Lowe (Solicitor),  Julian Rhind-Tutt (Jason Hamilton),  Catherine Shepherd (Bridget)

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Exterminator: (Slurring) It never goes away. The guilt. Mice, in wedding dresses, appear in your dreams. Whole families of roaches stand there in silent accusation. (edit) Bernard: (To Jason) You don't look like much of an explorer to me! You look like you've been exploring luxury hotels for quite some time now. Why don't you write about that?! The cote d'azur: one mans struggle with the 100% Egyptian cotton sheets! (edit) Bernard: (Referring to Jason Hamilton) What's he like then? This overgrown schoolboy? Nobody's told him that Britain doesn't own the world anymore, obviously! (edit) Bernard: You hear that? He's up there meowing, in the nerve center of his empire. A high con rent here, a tax dodge there. He sticks his leg in the air, laughs his cat laugh and then he dives back to grooming his balls! (edit) Solicitor: Ms. Hanley is dead. She died in the night...
Bernard: I don't care!! I mean 'how awful'. (edit)

Fran's 'Travel Essentials' list for her trip to Asia with Jason Hamilton includes sleeping gear, nail varnish, iron, bikini wax, avocados, chocolate, mouthwash, toothpaste, crimpers and glitter. (edit)

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