You may have moved into a vampire town if. . .
1. You notice your new neighbors have nicknames like "Ripfang," "Bloodlust," and "Vlad the Impaler."
2. Everyone in town seems to be wearing crosses, even the local rabbi.
3. You notice a lot of pale untanned people in town--which is strange since the name of the town is "Sunnydale."
4. The local soda fountain features flavors such as type O, type A, type B, and type AB.
5. The local Red Cross holds blood drives--every hour.
6. You see there is a shop selling occult items--not too unusual until you notice the sign in the window--"For Sale. Previous owner murdered."
7. The local drugstore sells sunblock with an SPF of 13,000.
8. Your local drugstore also has a big sale on "neck bandages."
9. There is an "In memoriam" section in the high school yearbook--not too unusual since even teens sometimes die young. What is unusual is that it is about 20 pages long.
10. Reading the town newspaper, you notice the obituary page has a special section entitled "Mysterious deaths and disappearances."
11. Also in the local paper, you notice ads in the real estate section featuring "crypts for rent."
12. And in the local papers' weather forecast, it says 20% chance of rain, pollen count of 260 parts per million, and 40% chance of demon attacks.
13. You see two young pasty looking boys ogleing a voluptuous young girl, and hear one of them comment "Wow, look at the humungous veins on that chick!"
14. You decide to order a water cooler for either your home or office. When you call to order, the sales rep asks if you want either "regular or holy water."
15. For some strange reason, the silly sissy girl's name "Buffy" inspires dread and fear.
Here's hoping you all live in a nicer neighborhood! 
