Writer:	Linda Bloodworth-Thomason
Director:	David Trainer
Star:	Jean Smart (Charlene Frazier (Seasons 1-3)),  Annie Potts (Mary Jo Shively),  Delta Burke (Suzanne Sugarbaker (Seasons 1-5)),  Dixie Carter (Julia Sugarbaker),  Meshach Taylor (Anthony Bouvier)
Guest Star:	Rosemary Alexander (Dodie Smith),  Newell Alexander (Vern),  Richard Minchenberg (Jeff Weddington),  Pete Willcox (Del Davis),  Tommy Kramer (Ricky Davis)

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Suzanne: Well, the room's not going to be ready for another half hour. And Charlene, you can just forget about that tour. Now I am telling you all, I cannot take anymore of this. I'm tired; I'm dirty; I've got that beef jerky she gave me stuck in my teeth. Now, I'm just going to march right into that bathroom in the coffee shop and brush my teeth and take a sponge bath in the sink and then I'm going to blow dry myself on the wall dryer(Pause) or maybe not.

(edit) Mary Jo: Can you believe it? I mean, who would have thought -- homemade food in a gas station? I mean, is that just in the South or what? I mean, now you can go in get your tires checked, buy some birth control in the bathroom and have a little turkey and dressing on the way out. (edit) Julia: Mary Jo, I have never seen one person eat so much in all my life. I mean, the inside of this car looks like we're on some kind of a pig tour. (edit) (A reporter asks their names)
Suzanne: My name is Helen Van Patterson-Patton.
Julia: And I'm her sister, Debbie.

(edit)

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The title of this episode comes from the movie E.T. in which the title character says, "E.T. phone home." (edit)