Dharma & Greg: Mad Secretaries and Englishmen Episode Trivia

Dharma & Greg: Mad Secretaries and Englishmen

« prev episode next » episode

There is currently no trivia. Add trivia!

Kitty: Come along, Edward. There's someone I want you to meet.
Edward: I hope his name is Johnny Walker.
Kitty: It's the Archbishop.
Edward: I hope his name is Archbishop Johnny Walker. edit »
Greg: How's the party going?
Edward: I don't like anybody here and your mother won't let me drink.
Dharma: OK. I guess we're up to speed. edit »
Dharma: How'd it go?
Greg: Great. I feel much better.
Dharma: Good. Did you guys hug?
Greg: No, but I think a connection was made.
Dharma: With Roger too?
Greg: Oh, especially with Roger. edit »
Greg: (Holding Roger against the wall) There is nothing I can say to Marlene that's going to change anything...
Roger: Now look, mate...
Greg: Don't talk, listen. That woman's been my secretary for eight years. She's not very good, she's rather unpleasant, and frankly, when she calls in sick, I do a little happy dance. But so help me, if you hurt her, I'll be back, and when I'm done with you, "nurse" will be the most important word in your vocabulary. edit »
Dharma: Did you sleep ok?
Greg: Pete snores like a cartoon bear. edit »
Dharma: Marlene likes him.
Greg: She doesn't know any better, and you do. You shouldn't have fixed her up with him.
Dharma: What, are you saying she'd be better off alone and miserable?
Greg: Yeah, well, alone and miserable is better than being with some unemployed leech who doesn't like the word "nurse". edit »
Dharma: Alright. Honey, I'll admit that Roger is a bit of a diamond in the rough.
Greg: He's a moron in the rough. If he works real hard, someday he'll be a moron. edit »
Dharma: Alright. Honey, I'll admit that Roger is a bit of a diamond in the rough.
Greg: He's a moron in the rough. If he works real hard, someday he'll be a moron. edit »
Dharma: You know, Marlene loves poetry. Don't you, Marlene?
Marlene: Well, I'm no expert like Roger.
Dharma: You know, maybe you two share a favorite poet. Roger, who do you like?
Roger: Oh, I don't read poetry. No, see, theres's always a danger that you copy something.
Greg: I'm sorry, what?
Roger: "Tabula rasa", my friend. "Tabula rasa".
Marlene: What's that?
Roger: It's Latin. "Blank slate". I'm a blank "rasa". Or a blank "tabula". Whichever one means slate. edit »
Roger: It's not like I chose to be a poet, you know. Poetry chose me. 'Cause I like words. Not all words. I don't like "canvas" or "nurse". edit »
Dharma: Come on, I promised. It's a blind date; she doesn't want to go alone.
Greg: Why can't Jane go?
Dharma: 'Cause Jane and this guy used to go out and they had a big misunderstanding. He thinks Jane tried to kill him. edit »
Greg: We've got tonight, and I'm not going to let anything ruin it.
Dharma: Well then, here's a bit of a challenge for you. I promised that we'd go out with Marlene and the guy that Jane and I are fixing her up with.
Greg: Dharma, if you don't love me any more you can just tell me. edit »
Dharma: Do you have any idea how long it's been since she [Marlene] has had sex?
Greg: I don't want to know.
Dharma: Four years. FOUR!
Greg: You're kidding.
Dharma: No. Are you feeling a little more compassionate now?
Greg: No, but I understand how she was able to needlepoint that car cover. edit »
Marlene: Well, isn't that terrific. We're all weepy for Pete but no one cares about the pain I live with each and every day.
Greg: No, I care. In fact, why don't you take the rest of the day off?
Marlene: And just keep my pain all bottled up inside until one day the cork finally blows?
Greg: Whatever you like. It's your day. edit »
Greg: Is Pete here yet?
Marlene: He's not coming in today.
Greg: Great!
Marlene: You want to know why?
Greg: Not really.
Marlene: Hey! How come he gets to waltz in here whenever he feels like it and I have to get here at the crack of 10:30? edit »
Greg: Why don't you take an early lunch?
Marlene: I brought a sandwich.
Greg: Well, it's a beautiful day; eat it in the park.
Marlene: What do I look like, a squirrel?
Greg: A little.
edit »
Greg: It's been a week. It would have been okay to wake me.
Dharma: I tried. I nibbled, I tickled, I bit you on the butt - nothing.
Greg: Oh, good, that's a hickie. I was going to call the dermatologist. edit »
Greg: Morning.
Dharma: Morning.
Greg: How are you feeling?
Dharma: Like a possum curled up in my mouth and died. Wanna fool around? edit »
Dharma: (Coming home drunk) The key won't work.
Greg: That's the car key.
Dharma: Well, then the apartment won't start. edit »

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS #66
"I've got to share something with you. Every time I write a vanity card, I'm quietly astonished that I get away with putting these things on television every week. I mean think about it, at the end of every episode of Dharma & Greg I get two seconds to communicate whatever's on my mind directly to millions of people. This is a remarkable thing, folks. Secret messages from a sitcom writer using the most powerful medium the world has ever known. Sixty-six cards at two seconds a piece means I've received a total of two minutes and twelve seconds of broadcast time to THINK OUT LOUD. Do you know what that kind of time costs? You don't have to be Bill Gates' building contractor to see that they can't keep letting me get away with this. In fact, just writing this might be some sort of death wish. Number 66, the card that killed the cards. The card that never aired. In years to come, people will talk in hushed tones about the fabled #66. Its very existence will be debated. Did Lorre actually write #66? If he did, was it so inflammatory that the big boys pulled the plug on the whole deal? Could it be that the missing #66 held the vital clue to the puzzle, the enigma, that was Chuck Lorre (graduate thesis, anyone?), or is what happened far more mundane? Number 66 was read by the network censors. They thought it a meandering mixture of hubris and paranoia that lacked a good solid joke at the end, but otherwise containing nothing to merit keeping it off television. One thing's for sure, if you're reading this, you know the answer -- but don't let that discourage you from talking about me in hushed tones." edit »