Star:	Conan O'Brien (Host),  Max Weinberg (Music Director),  Joel Godard (Announcer),  Brian Stack (Frankenstein/Kilty McBagpipes/Hannigan/Various)
Guest Star:	Mark Wahlberg (Himself),  Bob Saget (Himself),  Erin McKeown (Musical Performer)

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Conan: I was in a gang in Brookline - we all wore Izod shirts. We broke into libraries and read. (edit) Celebrity Survey
"The record I'll always be remembered for is..."
Rafael Palmeiro's Survey Response: "most needle holes in one butt."

"In my downtime, I like to..."
Kirstie Alleys' Survey Response: "bankrupt all-you-can-eat buffets."

"My kids provide me with the gift of..."
Jude Law's Survey Response: "nanny-poon."

"I try to spend at least one week a year..."
President George W. Bush's Survey Response: "at the White House."

"When I come home from a hard day at work I..."
Kevin Federline's Survey Response: "you're kidding, right?"

"As long as I live, I will never..."
Snoop Dogg's Survey Response: "get Glaucoma."

"I like to think of my viewers as people who..."
Tony Danza's Survey Response: "have broken both arms and can't change the channel."

"You never forget your first..."
O.J. Simpson's Survey Response: "double murder."

"The perfect romantic evening always starts with... "
Michael Jackson's Survey Response: "poor parental supervision."

"The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is..."
Paris Hilton's Survey Response: "ask the guy on top of me to move so that the guy underneath me can pull his arm out from under the guy next to me." (edit) Conan: In New York, Senator Hilary Clinton is being challenged for her seat by a female candidate. Yeah, Hilary said she's looking forward to the election while Bill Clinton says he's looking forward to the girl-on-girl action. (edit) Conan: The producers of Fiddler on the Roof announced that Rosie O'Donnell is gonna play the wife of Tevia, who now is played by the openly gay Harvey
Fierstein. Rosie O'Donnell and Harvey Fierstein, yeah. Producers say the complete lack of sexual chemistry makes them the perfect choice to play an old, Jewish couple. (edit) Conan: The Rolling Stones' new album - Did you hear this? - contains a song that criticizes President Bush. Yeah, yeah, this marks the first time The Rolling Stones have criticized a President since Millard Fillmore. They're a hundred and forty years old. (edit)

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