Being Human "(Dead) Girls Just Want to Have Fun" Review: Sally Malik’s Kiss o’Death
It’s a running joke in my house that the women on Being Human exist solely to screw everything up. I realize that’s not a particularly fair statement, that Josh and Aidan have done their fair share of ruining everything in the past. It’s not even meant to be that much of an insult—if nobody ruins anything, there’s no conflict and the plot stagnates. Sally and Josh miraculously returned to, uh, being human in last week’s premiere, and humans are boring. It was only a matter of time before one of them screwed something up and frankly, my money was on Sally from the very beginning.
I’m not entirely convinced that this storyline wasn’t conceived purely as an excuse to get Meaghan Rath out of that frumpy sweater/bedhead combo, but that’s okay. I mean, damn girl, you fine. However, I’m a little skeptical of Suicide Stevie and Nautical Nick’s reanimation, considering all the effort put into the ritual to restore Sally. You mean Nora and Josh just hauled ass to desecrate their graves and haphazardly smear the leftover Ray juice all over their rotting corpses and... it worked? Lol, okay. I’m not letting anyone tell me to slow down and do things right ever again. Aidan’s face summed things up perfectly once he was reunited with his freshly humanized roommates and got their story: “You dumbasses.”
While “It’s a Shame About Ray” suffered from too much darkness and exposition, “(Dead) Girls Just Want to Have Fun” marked a return to the precarious balance between angst and lulz that, when Being Human really wants to, it manages quite well. We got scene after scene of Sally squealing over the novelty of changing her bra (I’m right there with you, girl) and sipping cosmos giving way to the I-told-you-so moment required in any Sally story. Poor dumb Trent. Him just wanted some undead booty.
Still, sometimes it’s hard to feel bad for Sally beyond her initial tragic death. It's pretty much guaranteed that if someone tells Sally not to do something, then that’s exactly what she’ll do. The witch who raised Sally warned her not to seek out people from when she was alive the first time around. To Sally’s credit, she didn’t go looking for Trent, but once he started tossing back gin and hitting on her, she threw all caution out the window. C’mon, Sally, this is life and death and... death. Trent wasn’t even that cute and he was kind of a doofus. That hair was sooooo N’SYNC chic. All it needed was bleached tips. And he’s dead now. All because you wanted some nookie.
Also what’s up with going all doom-and-gloom on Josh, huh? I’ll be the first to agree that he might be rushing into his marriage proposal plan, but the dude was happy and the dude is NEVER happy. LET HIM BE HAPPY.
But like all happiness in ex-werewolf-Mimi-Siku’s life, even his starry-eyed intentions for Nora were quashed by the arrival of the top dog daddy to last season’s werewolf wonder twins. Remember them? I try not to. After finding Connor mounted on the wall of the Amish vampire compound like the prized hunting trophy he was, Papa Werewolf got a little grumpy and set off to find Brynn, vowing revenge if any harm had come to her. Does being cast on Revolution count?
Daddy Werewolf tracked down Brynn’s last known BFF, Nora, and decided to bunk with her for the duration of their change. Normally, Josh hung out outside Nora’s storage unit/kennel, but she conveniently talked him out of it in time for Mr. McLean to stop in for a smackdown. Cozy. When Josh arrived in the morning to let the dogs out, both Nora and Mr. McLean were gone but don’t worry, the promo for next week snapped the tiny shred of tension the show managed to cobble together once we realized Josh wouldn’t be turning this full moon after all. At least the writers didn’t kill Nora off. I assumed she would be killed off because of all that wedding talk and the fact Josh’s happiness must be stopped. How dare you develop positive self-esteem, Josh? HOW DARE YOU?
Meanwhile, Aidan—despite the dire implications of that closing scene last week, complete with moany Bon Iver cover—got his shit together, took a shower, had a shave, and stopped hallucinating long about to call his friends for a ride. I miss Bishop already. While the vampire flu still sounds silly, even after the expanded explanation that basically amounts to “It’s a virus that gives humans the flu but kills vampires dead-fo-sho,” the horror factor has returned... along with my boy Henry. Oh Henry, I want to love you. Why do you have to make it so hard for me to do that beyond the purely shallow reasons?
The vampire virus has killed off an impressive chunk of the blood-sucking population, but a few ingenious survivors remain, drinking newborn blood (lol, you’re so damaged, Being Human) and keeping their girlfriends chained up in germ-free bedrooms. Fine, Henry didn’t actually chain Emma up, he just brainwashed her. Semantics. And then Aidan set her free because being buried undead for a whole year made him really zen about things like condemning his former sometimes best friend to a possibly horrific flu-death. Henry is kind of a sucky bestie, if you think about it.
But this still doesn’t solve the problem of Aidan needing himself a nice plasma slushy sooner rather than later. He got by, chugging what remained of his own after the crash, but there wasn’t much left and that certainly won’t work in the long run. The old haunts came up empty and he didn’t drink from Emma after discovering the truth about her relationship with Henry. Sally offered him a sip, but since she’s human-but-not-really, Aidan was forced to decline, also rejecting an offer from Josh because even though Josh is human now, Aidan still wants to maintain monster dignity or something. Okay, and there was the small matter of Josh having his own tussle with the vampire flu before the story picked up this season. But must be rough to be the only freakshow left in the house these days. Aidan looked kind of bummed when Sally and Josh were planning their celebratory dinner that he couldn’t eat. It’s okay, boo. One of them will return to monsterville soon enough. Probably Sally. Sally ruins everything. (Sorry, Sally.)
– Is it just me or was there a lot of Sally/Aidan sexual tension in that little heart-to-heart on the sofa? They’re totally gonna bone at some point this season, aren’t they? That’s gonna be weird... like watching two siblings go at it.
– You know, Syfy, these intense cliffhanger endings would be MORE intense and cliffhanger-y if you didn’t show the missing-and-supposedly-in-mortal-danger individual being all fine and dandy in the promo for next week. Just sayin’.
– Does Aidan have a spidey sense now or something? That wasn’t there before, right?
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