H8R: Let's Just Pretend This Show Was Never Made

By Tim Surette

Sep 15, 2011

In an effort to keep chatter about H8R to a minimum with hopes that it will simply go away, I'll keep this short. The new CW show's premise is this: Viewers sit in front of their television and contemplate suicide for an hour. Oh sure, host and desperate leech Mario Lopez will tell you the show is about giving Z-list celebrities a chance to win over normal people who've slammed them for being, well, themselves, but make no mistake: H8R was designed by The CW as a way to population control. Or possibly because someone at The CW is trying to get fired.

Last night's series premiere saw Jersey Shore's Snooki and The Bachelor's most famous fighter pilot, Jake Pavelka, crawl face-to-face with two horrible people who have nothing better to do but complain about the reality stars' stardom. Spoiler alert! Snooki won over her H8R, but try as he might, Jake just couldn't change his H8R's mind (though to be fair, Jake's H8R was the WORST person on the face of the Earth). Then the show ended and I put down my shotgun and poured out my tumbler of cyanide just in time.

It doesn't do any of us any good to talk about this show any longer. There's no use in getting academic about it. H8R is what garbage takes out to the curb on trash day. It's what feces flushes down the toilet after a gorging itself on beans and canned-tuna burritos. It's everything that's wrong with celebrity pop culture. Let's just pretend it never happened.

Note: I couldn't muster the brainpower for intelligent discourse out of fear it would mean the bad guys (The CW, H8R, producer Mike Fleiss) win. If you are interested in a great academic take on H8R, check out Daniel Feinberg's excellent review at HitFix.


Follow TV.com writer Tim Surette on Twitter: @TimAtTVDotCom

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  • sasou82 Sep 17, 2011

    I thought the premise sounded ridiculous and after reading this review I'm glad I did not waste my DVR space on it

  • Jux_ta_pose Sep 16, 2011

    I read the blurb for the show and I just wept how desperate to you have to be as a network to air this garbage. What is it CW can't get enough shows to want to sign with you that you need to fill that empty air between your ears (I mean shows) with this sad, sad rubbish.

  • dh4645 Sep 16, 2011

    that chick seems kinda hot. who is she?

  • ECronley001 Sep 16, 2011

    Hey Tim you better watch out. It's only a matter of time before Mr. Lopez and Rod Blagojevich come knocking on your door. Don't be a H8R!!!

  • TimSpot Sep 17, 2011

    BRING IT!

  • ll-essy Sep 16, 2011

    H8 it! (sorry, couldn't resist)

  • Verdikal Sep 16, 2011

    Anyone notice the raccoon on the show that thinks its shit dont stink hahahahah!

  • FlorBlyth Sep 16, 2011

    <3 Tim.. you just saved my life!!!!

  • saxyroro Sep 16, 2011

    Its the new Punkd

  • saxyroro Sep 16, 2011

    The intro alone is terrible and possible my new guilty pleasure. So bad....

  • mrfurious00 Sep 16, 2011

    skipped right down to here to say this: why even waste fingerstrokes and bother writing an article on this crap?

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