Happy Shark Week, Time to Play Shark Week Bingo!

By Lily Sparks

Aug 10, 2012

Yes, it's that time of year: The time when veritable monsters rise up from the depths of the sea and swim straight to your television screen via Discovery Channel, and then they continue from there to your brain and right on into your nightmares. IS ANYONE SAFE? CAN WE NOT JUST ROUND THESE CREATURES UP AND SHOOT THEM INTO THE SUN ALREADY DEAR LORD?!?!

No, no we can't, but we can try to manage our almost inescapable fears by playing bingo with shaking fingers in our dry, dry living rooms. Here's how this works—you get some pennies or buttons together, and whenever you notice something on the Bingo card happening on your screen during Shark Week, be it a phrase, an action, or a type of footage, you cover up the square with the penny (or take a shot, depending on how at-sea you are, figuratively). It's up to you whether you want to play a new game with every program, or keep the same card going all week. How do you win? Be the first to notice what's going on! It's all about perception, reflexes, being aware of the predators circling around you! Like a true survivor, the most incremental difference in time between you noticing something and the other people beside you on your couch/in your lifeboat seeing the fin cutting through the water or the tail disappearing under the boat can make all the difference between chums and CHUM.

Good luck, and stay alive. SHARK WEEK!

Click the image to open a larger version of the bingo card in a new window.

Shark Week, which celebrates its 25th anniversary this year, begins Sunday, August 12 at 9pm with Air Jaws Apocalypse. See the full schedule at Discovery's official site, and keep an eye on our daily "What to Watch Tonight" stories for highlights.

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  • LeahLefler Aug 11, 2012

    hehe.. very dumb diver.. aren't they all?

  • LeahLefler Aug 11, 2012

    yay! I've loved sharks since I was a little girl.. I'll never forget when I saw my first shark at an aquarium.. it was a nurse shark and I squealed with delight! I got some weird looks for sure. I just leave my TV on Shark Week all week. and I ALSO love the Olympics. neither are too overrated for me. :p

  • Montana_Katana Aug 11, 2012

    Ugh, Shark Week. The only thing more overrated than the Olympics.

  • stanking Aug 11, 2012

    Personally, I think Shark Week jumped the shark years ago. (yawn)

  • LilyRoRoSparks Aug 11, 2012

    If you love sharks, then you should especially love shark week. Let's be real, they're not going out and spear-chucking these sharks, they're filming them doing what they'd do anyway, and tossing out a lot of free snacks to the sharks in the process. And the way sharks drive ratings will always make tv networks (aka, some of the deepest pockets in the world) very invested in their habitats and well-being. Shark week is a celebration of how rad sharks are! So don't hate, celebrate. With bingo!

    This has been a message from the national association of Shark Week Themed-Bingo Card Makers.

  • FringeFanatic Aug 11, 2012


    You were saying?

  • LilyRoRoSparks Aug 12, 2012

    Oh but I was saying that loooong before shark week.

  • FringeFanatic Aug 12, 2012

    Ha! I can't stay mad at you, Lily.

  • terminaltrip421 Aug 11, 2012

    that gaping mouth is seriously screaming jump in. pretty much the only thing i can remember from watching shark weeks past was when they towed a lifeless beached up whale back out to sea. there was more whale than could be eaten by at least a dozen sharks and when they became full they became clumsy, slow and sexually excitable.

  • FringeFanatic Aug 11, 2012

    I HATE Shark Week!

    Sharks have been swimming in our oceans before Dinosaurs roamed the land. They are evolutionary marvels, having survived as a species for over 400 million years.

    Over-fishing is ravaging the Shark population. When a top predator is removed, its entire ecosystem suffers. Sharks keep all the different species of fish in check. They are absolutely essential to the oceans ecosystems.

    Yet every year, there is an entire week dedicated to the demonization of Sharks. This bingo card is a perfect example of that. Jaws was really the beginning of America's love affair of fearing Sharks. The media unfairly publicizes every single Shark attack, which is a misrepresentation of how few and far between Shark fatalities actually are.

    Here's a list of animals and insects you should fear far more than Sharks:

    1. Mosquitoes - There are over 2 million deaths per year resulting from malaria infection caused by mosquito bites.

    2. Snakes - Over 100,000 deaths per year.

    3. Scorpions - Up to 5,000 deaths per year.

    4. Crocodiles - Up to 2,000 deaths per year.

    5. Elephants - Over 600 deaths per year.

    6. Bees - Over 400 deaths per year.

    7. Lions - Over 250 deaths per year.

    8. Hippopotamuses - Over 200 deaths per year.

    9. Jellyfish - Over 100 deaths per year.

    There are fewer than 20 Shark related deaths per year. Most attacks are "hit and run" attacks, where the shark makes a single bite and passes (humans are not an ideal food for a Shark, not enough fat). These attacks are rarely life-threatening. Despite all this, shark attacks draw worldwide attention.

    We should have a "Shark Appreciation Week", showing everything they do for our oceans and fishing industry. Instead, you guys reshow the same skewed movies demonizing one the most impressive species on our planet.

    And if you're wondering, yes, I did a presentation on Sharks in high school.

  • Montana_Katana Aug 11, 2012

    Hippopotamuses? Huh. They always seem so tame and stupid. Can we have "Hippo Week" next year, just to shake things up?

  • FringeFanatic Aug 12, 2012

    Haha! I like it, but it will never fly. No one has made a movie about vicious man eating Hippos ....

    *Light Bulb*

  • Montana_Katana Aug 12, 2012

    Go sell that to SyFy as their next monster movie. "Hippopocalypse"

  • FringeFanatic Aug 12, 2012

    Only if you sign on as co-writer!

  • Tim_H Aug 11, 2012

    "Shark Appreciation Week" = Shark week

    Try some positive commentary, no better way to appreciate them than to dedicate a week to them every year. With the variety of the programs that shark week brings I'm surprised a shark lover like you isn't all over it.

    Kind of hard to paint them in a positive light, it's not like they are killing the sharks, just being honest about what people have studied about them. This bingo card is a hilarious way to have fun with the family, not a stance on shark culture, after all calling sharks a murderous creature is a drastic misrepresentation. Because outside of the community service and aid work sharks do around the world, they have no desire to harm a humans, aside from a little love bite.

    At no point in the program does any show misrepresent the number of shark deaths per year. Have you actually watched the shows, seems like you are assuming the people are running a jaws type program..

    Glad you did a presentation on them in high school, doesn't give you a right to demonize shark week/ shark week lovers. Your elitism is getting in the way of enjoying some of the best coverage on sharks tv has to offer.

  • FringeFanatic Aug 11, 2012

    You're right. The programs on Discovery during Shark Week are a fair portrayal of the species. But the way the media (TV.com included) cover Shark Week is not.

    After reading this article, you must realize Shark Week is used as an excuse to drum up the ol' "man eating monster" stereotype.

    Love your icon picture, by the way.

  • GeekAttack78 Aug 11, 2012

    (thumbs up)

  • efonsecajr Aug 11, 2012

    (thumbs down)