Is This The Best Dancing With The Stars Cast Ever?

By Tim Surette

Mar 02, 2010

ABC practically exploded with reality announcements during last night's The Bachelor finale, revealing the latest cast of Dancing With the Stars and the star of the next round of The Bachelorette.

Dancing With the Stars has lured some pretty good celebs to its last few editions, but each cycle so far has included a few lesser-knowns in the mix (I love Jeffrey Ross, but he never stood a chance). That said, the next edition of the program is solid from top to bottom. Listen to this lineup:

... Pamela Anderson, Baywatch bunny and plastic-surgery poster child. This year's waltzing skin flick.

... Chad Ochocinco, NFL wide receiver (Cincinnati Bengals) and Twitter addict. His antics could be VERY entertaining, and just imagine all the clever headlines: "DWTS scores a touchdown with Chad Ochocindo!"

... Shannen Doherty, token former child star of Beverly Hills, 90210. If we're lucky enough to be blessed with a tantrum, it'll come from her.

... Kate Gosselin, the villain from Jon and Kate Plus 8. ABC either dropped the ball and didn't invite Jon Gosselin to participate, or Jon has more class than I thought.

... Evan Lysacek, the Olympic figure-skating gold-medalist. You didn't know him two weeks ago, but now you'll remember his name all the way through the end of spring!

...Buzz Aldrin. If you don't know who he is, go back to school. He's the old guy who we hope gets knocked out before his hip does.

...Erin Andrews, ESPN sideline reporter who became the victim of a high-profile peeping Tom case. The hottie that helps provide synergy between ABC and ESPN.

... Jake Pavelka, this season's douche-y The Bachelor. The hunk that helps provide synergy between ABC and ABC.

... Aiden Turner, the only person I didn't know on the list. Because he's a star on All My Children. More ABC-ABC synergy. Also the token foreign dude (he's British).

... Niecy Nash, from Reno 911!. Provides both a minority and female comedian for the show. Interestingly, ABC mentioned her Fox show Do Not Disturb in her bio. Can't we just pretend that never happened?

... Nicole Scherzinger. Maybe Pam Anderson is too old for you, and Erin Andrews is too much of a goody-goody for your taste. Voila! Enter Pussycat Doll Nicole, a perfect blend of sluttiness and youth.

Let's review: There are no old tech guys. No unknown comedians. And no tween pop stars. Heck, even I might tune in this year. Yeah, right. I'm predicting Erin Andrews as the winner, because she knows her college hoops.

But D-W-T-S wasn't the only ABC reality show with news to share last night, The Bachelorette announced its next clap trap contestant, and as usual, she's leftover from The Bachelor. Ali Fedotowsky, who chose her job as an account manager in online advertising over "love" and left this recent season of The Bachelor midway through, will now have a chance to spread Jake Pavelka's oral herpes to a whole new batch of lonely men this May.

ABC, where love happens.

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  • ShaRiBaBee Mar 04, 2010

    I wonder why Nicole agreed to be part of this group.

  • halogurl10 Mar 04, 2010

    ugh, really. i'm so tired of see and hear about kate gosselin. you would think she would get tired of getting burned. And pam anderson get real, she's MUCH more likely to fall out of her dress. And buzz aldrin isn't he AT LEAST 70 by now, oh, you would think a man of so much iconic national/global history would have more respect then that, not to dis DWTS.

  • sabrips Mar 03, 2010

    Nicole is an amazing dancer... with the right partner, she's gonna be the winner!

  • famulan1st Mar 03, 2010

    OMG...couldn't they have come up with actual stars...Nicole Scherzinger will win it all...and Pamela Anderson...I love that she's Canadian...but that's about it. :S

  • 24Ashan24 Mar 03, 2010

    Blech why are these ppl "stars"..........

  • Starprincess13 Mar 02, 2010

    I highly doubt that having class is the reason Jon Gosselin isn't participating.

  • Ambaryerno Mar 02, 2010

    Go to effin' HELL Tim. Aldrin is the only person on this list worth a dime of newsprint. He served his country with two aerial victories and walked on the goddammed moon. The rest don't even have a CLUE what a true hero is, and are nothing more than useless tabloid fodder.

  • NickPirce Mar 02, 2010

    Buzz Aldrin Evan Lysacek Jake Pavelka and Chad Ochocinco

  • txgirl75 Mar 02, 2010

    No I think it's a joke. Pamela Anderson and Kate Gosslin. I didn't see anyone I care about well Shannen Doughtry. Not worth watching just for one person. I'll pass.

  • rsandcm1 Mar 02, 2010

    No, it is not the best line-up ever. It is not even close. The only person that looks slightly entertaining would be Buzz Aldrin.

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