New Girl “Eggs” Review: Panic at the Baby-Makin' Disco (Plus Zombies!)

By MaryAnn Sleasman

Nov 28, 2012

New Girl S02E09: “Eggs”

A few weeks ago, with “Menzies,” New Girl devoted an entire episode to the tired old joke about women going crazy during PMS. This week, it was baby madness.  I keep hoping that this current obsession with ladybits will burn itself out, especially because it’s almost impossible not to fumble such storylines somewhere over the course of an episode. I’m also holding out for a prostate exam episode since we’ve gotten two installments in the past month addressing the sucky side of womanhood. I think it’s the guys’ turn to resent their biology.

The ticking of Jess and Cece’s biological clocks suddenly became louder when their friend Sadie and her wife, Melissa, announced that they were expecting a baby. Like so many conversations do, this one derailed a bit, going from “YAY BABY!” to “Hey ladies, did you know that 90 percent of your eggs are GONE by the time you’re 30?” Wow. Way to ruin this beautiful moment, show.

The problem with “Eggs,” outside of the vaguely sexist notion that if a woman hasn’t procreated in a timely manner, then she has FAILED as a woman, is that the story attempted to take a rather complicated matter and simplify it with the addition of a stopwatch. The 90 percent statistic came from a 2010 study done by the University of St. Andrews and Edinburgh University, so it’s not total crap, but at the same time, ONE study is hardly anything to panic over. I mean, look at chicken eggs: They’re good for you, they’re bad for you, the white part is okay but the yolk will kill you, etc. etc. blah blah blah.

Regardless, Cece and Jess freaked out a little. Neither woman is really in an ideal place in life to have a kid. Jess is just coming out of a period of unemployment and probably hasn’t even really settled into her new job. She has no romantic relationships to speak of, or at least, none so serious or stable that she’s ready to raise a child.

Does Cece have every right to be upset about the state of her eggs? Absolutely. But is the correct response to her predicament to hurry up and have a baby RIGHT NOW? No. It’s a more complicated matter than that. Does it become harder to conceive as a woman gets older? Sure. Are there additional health risks involved with “older” pregnancies? Yes, there are. But we also live in the 21st century and there are options. Frozen eggs, fertility treatments, adoption—the revelation that Cece’s egg count is on the low side does not condemn her to the sad, lonely life of a barren spinster.

Furthermore, fertility isn’t an exclusively female problem. Cece’s “Make me a guy so I don’t have to worry about this,” is telling of society’s default take on procreating, that it's a “female thing”, but biologically, being a dude wouldn’t necessarily save Cece from difficulty. Low sperm count, a tube blockage, or varicocele (enlarged veins that lead to elevated sperm temperature), among other things, can all complicate baby-makin’ for the menfolk.

I’m pretty sure this is all just a conspiracy to get the good ship Cece/Schmidt sailing again. The characters' current situations are sort of mutation of their Season 1 pregnancy scare; in “Kids,” Cece fretted over a possible unplanned pregnancy while Schmidt contemplated marrying her “to do the right thing,” only to come to the conclusion that he sincerely liked her and was kind of okay with it. He was just as surprised to realize how much he cared about Cece this time around, too.

Schmidt's 50 Shades of Awkward relationship with his boss, Emma, came to a cordial end when, well, the sex just wasn’t that good. No, not even when he met with Sadie for some pointers and dressed like Emma’s ultimate fantasy: a Studio 54 busboy. She lamented that even though she saw her divorce as a chance to indulge in new experiences, her arrangement with Schmidt just wasn’t working. As much as she didn’t want to, she was going to have to re-enter the dating pool. Schmidt got nostalgic for the good ol’ days of sex with Cece, when everything was easy and they just connected and the sex was amazing.

“That’s called love, you idiot.” I like Emma. I wouldn’t mind her popping in from time to time to talk some gruff sense into Schmidtty.

While Schmidt’s “problem” (which isn’t necessarily a problem at all) isn’t grounded in cold, hard facts of life like Cece’s, their issues serve to complement one another and could very easily pave the way toward them eventually getting back together. With Cece contemplating where she currently is in life and where she wants to go, and Schmidt coming to terms with the fact that as much as he wanted to pretend that his relationship with Cece was shallow and meaningless, he actually loved her, Schmidt and Cece are in an ideal place to take an honest look at their relationship.

It seems that the only loft-dweller who found some semblance of stability and purpose this week was Nick, who finally finished his zombie novel. It was a big moment for him. Z Is for Zombie was terrible, but hey, he finished! (And rough drafts are always terrible, man, don’t sweat it.)

Deciding he needed some real life Ernest Hemingway experiences—or at least, what he assumed were Hemingway experiences—Nick dragged poor, sleep-deprived Winston to the zoo for some adventure. Of course, his adventure seemed to be more of an exercise in procrastination than inspiration, especially once the flask made an appearance, but then again, Z Is for Zombie DID feature an ode to a zombie zoo, so I don’t think it was a complete waste of time. Inspiration comes from weird places.

What did you think of this episode?


– One-liner of the night: Schmidt’s entire innuendo-laden monologue to Sadie about his (attempted) methods for pleasuring Emma. I wonder how many takes were required to get through that with a straight face? Everybody gets a churro!

Z Is for Zombie sounds terrible, but I agree with Schmidt’s demand that Winston never stop reading it aloud.

  • Comments (77)
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  • safibwana Nov 30, 2012

    I gotta just say that this was one of the most fun reviews to comment on on this site in weeks. In spite of... okay, partially because of all the whiney bitches.

  • FringeFanatic Nov 30, 2012

    It has been fun! But would you include MaryAnn in the "whiny bitch" category?

  • safibwana Nov 30, 2012

    No, I do not find her to be whiny or bitchy at all, but she is fun. Further, my lawyers suggest that I decline to comment on whether my previous use of the word bitch was a word for an animate creature of a certain nature or a synonym for complaint. I love the English language.

  • radiumgirl Staff Nov 30, 2012

    Can't I be whiny, bitchy, AND fun? Labels are so RESTRICTIVE.

  • safibwana Nov 30, 2012

    I dunno, it IS kind of rude when you insert yourself into a conversation about you that is going on in your presence like you aren't there. But I'll have to think about it. Ironically, pretty young girls get away with more so they have to work harder for 70% of the bitchiness-credit.

    Astute observers will have noticed I just stuck MaryAnn with two more labels. If you're one of those, reward yourself with a cookie.

  • FringeFanatic Nov 30, 2012

    Haha! It is pretty bitchin'!

  • FringeFanatic Nov 30, 2012

    This comment has been removed.

  • communitized Nov 30, 2012

    I think there's so much more to this episode than this review (which sort of resembles a diary every time). I think Nick's storyline is so good, the fact that he got drunk at the zoo out of all places just show how sad he is. A zoo is a place where kids have fun. It's like Nick is trying to regain all things he never finishes by screwing up his square one.

    At least if you want to make a whole recount and "review" sounds like a feminist rant, make it funny. Ask Price for help there.

  • katikool Nov 29, 2012

    OK here it is... I present Z is for Zombie, by Nick Miller:

    No one in the sleepy mountain town of Rythm sic City knew what the meteor meant, but the one thing Mike Junior did have was a whole lot of rhytms sic.

    "Woah, what bit me in the face?", Mike Junior said to his dad, Mike Senior, who sucks. Mike Senior sucks a whole bunch, much more than his neighbor Robbo. Zombie zoo, zombie zoo. Who let dem zombies out that damn zombie zoo?
    "Uh oh, watch your back Laura!"

    Word Search

  • FringeFanatic Nov 29, 2012

    HAHAHAHAHA! Even funnier the second time!

  • hbf716 Nov 29, 2012

    I laughed hysterically through this episode. One of my favorites. Between Schmidt's "vagenius" comments and Winston reading "zombie zoo, zombie zoo..." I think I stopped breathing. No other show on tv right now makes me laugh as hard (except maybe Raising Hope.)

  • katikool Nov 29, 2012

    I want to read Z is for Zombies in full!! Someone get on that, please.

    As much as I think you're right about the faults of this episode, I still think it's great that I can sit down on a weeknight and watch a full hour of comedies that do 'female' humor- where women are damn funny and plots and jokes often revolve around women's experiences. I just like seeing bits of my life reflected on the screen, and this seems to be a pretty new phenomenon (for me at least). Yeah, two episodes in a row about PMS and baby making is a bit much, and some of the way they approached it was problematic, but they were funny as hell and sooort of captured the experience. I mean, who COULDN"T relate a little to the Menzies episode- up until Jess started acting crazy? So, while I criticize how New Girl handles some topics, I'm still really glad it exists.

  • Devon39219 Nov 29, 2012

    the topics aren't the problem - it's Jess.

  • katikool Nov 29, 2012

    How so? I realize that Zooey Deschanel isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I like Jess just fine.

    And if you really get down to it, neither the topics nor the fictional characters are the problem- it's the writers who create these scenarios and determine the character's actions.

  • Devon39219 Nov 29, 2012

    isn't Zooey the creator? anyway, it's not that i dislike jess, it's more that for some reason she isn't the funny jess anymore..

  • FringeFanatic Nov 29, 2012

    Fair enough.

  • Devon39219 Nov 29, 2012

    oh, woops got that one wrong then :) still don't like her performance in the last couple of eps.

  • FringeFanatic Nov 29, 2012

    She is most definitely not. Elizabeth Meriwether is the creator/writer/producer.

  • TrueTvWatcher Nov 29, 2012

    Awesome and Hilarious Episode!

  • Bujemi Nov 29, 2012

    Oh man!? The reviewer did a really great job of taking the fun out of this episode. I mean I am really happy i saw it before i read this. There was a lesbian couple in the center of this episode, a lesbian couple having a child thru a sperm donor, there was a woman talking about how much she loves boobs, three really insecure dudes talking out their feelings, one going to a gynecologist for advice about how to best pleasure a woman, there is a sexist-jar and so on... Sure there are som sexist stuff there, but it is most of the time there for us to laugh at, not analyse...

    Well, I really liked Schmidt long losing Nemo monolouge, Nick is just terrific, Winston is starting to live up to his potential. Cece is not quite there yet with the rest of them, not crazy enough somehow and Jess was acting her funny ass off.

    Favorite dialog:

    Nick: Did you put the microwave in the trash?
    Jess: Yes.
    Nick: Why would you do that?
    Jess: Microwaves zap things! I could zap my insides!
    Nick: You took my microwave away! It's what makes burritos delicious!
    Jess: You care more about your burritos than my children, Nick?
    Nick: You're putting me in a tough spot.

    (just loved how her voice almost cracked here when she said: "You care more about your burritos than my children, Nick? ")

  • J_Pip Nov 29, 2012

    Schmidt: See that's exactly what I do I call that losing Nemo.
    Sadie: Well a more advanced move would be, you know what I'll show you sort of come in this way.
    Schmidt: No no i see what you're doing that asymmetry right there that's crucial because what I'll do then is I'll go outside, get the paper, then shake the neighbor's hand.
    Sadie: Interesting
    Schmidt: Then what I'll do is tie a bow on it because it's birthday time. Then get on stage and collect my Oscar and say thank you to the people, thank you to the people and then get back down off stage and get everybody into the sharing circle. Right down there in the sharing circle and then *slams hand on desk* spike the volleyball. Then what I like to do is arrive at the bridge, meet the troll, and then answer his riddles three. Then what we do is we're dancing. We're just dancing. We'll dance for a while. We'll dance 'til you can't dance anymore. Dance 'til you can't dance, any, more. Then everybody. Gets. Churro. *clicks tongue*
    Too funny not to share.

  • radiumgirl Staff Nov 29, 2012

    There it is in all it's glory. :D

  • MrPukestick Nov 29, 2012

    I don't think this show intends for the viewer to be caught up in the feminine issue. If you are then it's kind of like looking at a Rorschach for anyone with ovaries. I mean it's a 30 minute joke. I just thought it was a typical Jess overreaction to a bit of news that's neither bad nor good. Just have to say Schmidt is by far the best in this show I was in stitches at his talk on technique. He honestly gets all the best lines.

  • Devon39219 Nov 29, 2012

    Again, didn't really like Jess' performance in this episode. last couple of episodes I really started to dislike her. Such a shame, she was an awesome zombie Woody Allen in the halloween episode.

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