Scandal "All Roads Lead to Fitz" Review: Gut Buster

By Lily Sparks

Nov 09, 2012

Scandal S02E05: "All Roads Lead to Fitz"

An angry oilman shouts about getting his nipples twisted.

A pair of lovers spends their first date stalking a family.

The number "four-hundred three-thousand and fifty-nine" is said about as many times.

Oh, it's time for Scandal.

There is no way to bury the word "nipple" in a line. Especially when it comes out of a character whose skin and hair are made up in such a way that you just know his nips are all puffy. Spoken or written, the word nipple, once let loose, takes on a life of its own. At best it fades away after a brief moment of awkwardness, at worse it swings up and puts somebody's eye out. Suffice it to say, in a room full of people trying to make us intrigued about why they were all "three goose eggs from jail," all I cared about was how many takes were required for the Angry Southern Stereotype Man to say that line without cracking up.

Of course yes, I also was asking myself, "Why are Cyrus, Millie, Cigarette Mouth, The Angry South, and Olivia Pope in some Illuminati club together?" We'd sort of have an answer by the end of the eipsode—they possibly rigged an election (gray hat moment 4 sure). But perhaps given Fitz's competition we are not supposed to mind so much? A person who shot a man KNOWING his wife had falsely accused someone of rape to help with his PR?

Let me just say right now that never in the history of time has this crime ever happened. I know that in the millions of lives all over the giant face of this globe every good and bad thing that has ever occurred can and has. Except for this. A woman scared into yelling "rape" halfway through an affair-sexing and her husband, in a nanosecond, realizing that if he shot a rapist he could benefit from her lie as well? Although Scandal got me with that final twist, I have to say. As soon as Olivia lead her Popettes through a slaughterhouse of a crime scene and they dropped the word rapist I said aloud to my empty room, "NOPE. AFFAIR. Husband killed him." But the writers got me on the larger motive, the incredible political ballast that comes when you shoot a home intruder. All the greats shot home intruders, Roosevelt, FDR, etc. Suck it, four thousand three-hundred and fifty-nine votes!

I really hope that if Ann Romney watches Scandal, she skipped last night's episode. I'm sure Mitt gets full control of the remote these days (and a fuzzy blanket and ice cream) during TV time but even if she sneaks off to the stables to tune in on her tablet while her horse practices the electric slide or whatever, this was not the episode for her to see. Losing a national election drove an otherwise upstanding man into a broken marriage and a pre-meditated double-murder-suicide. Time to get Mitt a new hobby, Ann, before all hell breaks loose and you find yourself chanting "one-million six-hundred-thousand nine-hundred and fifteen votes!" or whatever the final tally is to perfect strangers.

I do appreciate the twist actually surprising me. We're all watching the show for those magic moments between Liv and Fitz that might actually be melting my TV screen and those were completely off the map in this episode. Shonda knows we all need our fix with those two, so in his absence she gave us a puzzling, intricate little episode that kept tying back to him. Needless to say, much like Olivia and her very tall wine glass, we were feeling his loss—a very meta experience. Also, I seriously need to get a wine glass with an eight-inch stem.

However, there is a confusing duality between Olivia being the person who fixes everything and is generally the good guy, yet is also bugging David Rosen's apartment and setting up dates between him and character actors at the Griddle Cafe. (LOL, the Griddle Cafe: the heart of many if not all of Washington's conspiracies.)

Also is there a LESS interesting choice of a character to fixate on this season than David Rosen? Sigh. And by all means, pair him up with the World's Most Boring Redhead. Honestly, we were fixated on Quinn for forever, we still have to wade through half a storyline every episode with grumbly mumbly Huck, and meanwhile the hottest and maybe best actor on this show is still steeped in mystery and never appears on screen: When will we learn more about Harrison? Why is he so cloaked in invisibility all the time like Daniel Radcliffe in Harry Potter when we want to see more of him, like Daniel Radcliffe in Equus?

Yet and still: The same duality in Olivia exists in Cyrus, except to a much darker degree. On the one hand he was charming enough at one point to woo the cutest and most wonderful husband in the world, and last night he cuddled up with Olivia on the couch like a big ole' teddy bear, yet Cyrus is also is a self-described political monster who we know for a fact ordered Amanda Tanner's death last season. It made me so nervous when Olivia was cuddling with him, and felt slightly off. Maybe this is just one of those things where you break up with a guy and then suddenly you weirdly start missing his friends.

So altogether a fairly intriguing, somewhat surprising episode even without our favorite Emo President. He better come back next week, though. If Liv and Fitz being apart becomes a trend I might have to go to an addiction therapy group myself.


1. David Rosen: endearing or annoying?

2. Has the concept of Olivia's trusty gut been officially excised from the show?

3. Did you miss Fitz?

4. Is Abby a traitor who is going to get figuratively and perhaps literally slapped?

5. Voting booths??!!

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  • marcusj1973 Sep 24, 2013

    "We're all watching the show for those magic moments between Liv and Fitz that might actually be melting my TV screen and those were completely off the map in this episode." Lily, we're not.

  • stanking Nov 13, 2012

    Didn't miss Fitz at all - I'm tired of the emo anyway. David Rosen has a very interesting role at this point, and even though I hate Red, I see the need for her to be involved in the story arc at this time. It really bothers me that I'm feeling some empathy with Cyrus because he really IS a monster. And I think before it's all over, we may find that beneath it all, Olivia wears the black hat, not gray. Most people who wear the black hat think their hat is white. Last, Huck rocks!

  • matters2me Nov 12, 2012

    I like David, he's smart but a little blinded by Livvie's light. It makes him interesting.

    I missed Fitz primarily because Tony is so good at what he does. I think it would have been interesting to drop the whole WH crew for a couple of episodes and devote the time to bolstering Pope and Associates. I think they could make it work.

    Abby isn't a traitor. She wants to help Liv get back on track. She cares about David so she doesn't want to see him get hurt.

  • un0rmal Nov 12, 2012

    Usually I agree with you 100%. But not with this Olivia and Fitz thing. I loved the episode, and I think it was the lack of emo that did it for me. I'm so very over those two.

  • safibwana Nov 11, 2012

    Lily, I just have to say I like the opposite of all the things you like about this show. I have zero interest in seeing Olivia and Fitz in the same scenes; the very idea of that being an ongoing thing is stupidly unrealistic. I like David Rosen, the actor who plays him, and the complication of his relationship with red. Also, Huck is the best. Meanwhile, I have no interest in Harrison, perhaps because I've never seen him act (in this because he gets no lines, and in other things because I haven't seen them).

  • Bks_Nimo Nov 11, 2012

    1. David Rosen: endearing or annoying?

    While David isn't the most interesting character (a bit too linear for me) I don't mind him because his digging is giving me more of the conspiracy storyline.

    2. Has the concept of Olivia's trusty gut been officially excised from the show?

    Olivia's gut is broken, y'all. I think a night with Fitz would fix it.

    3. Did you miss Fitz?

    Yes! I thinks Tony's absence from the episode was glaring. To be sure, the conspiracy is interesting, but the COTW was not. It's not to say that there must be Liv/Fitx angst in every episode. Seeing Fitz deal with Mellie, Cyrus, or even being presidential is enough.

    4. Is Abby a traitor who is going to get figuratively and perhaps literally slapped?

    To quote Oda Mae from "Ghost": "You in danger, girl!" Abby is a traitor, she's selling out the woman who saved her from an abusive marriage. I don't expect blind loyalty, but Abby strikes me as being slaty because she was not allowed to fill Stephen's shoes as Liv's confidant.

    5. Voting booths??!!

    While I see why Olivia would be called to fix the explosion, I'm really hoping that Liv didn't engage I voter fraud. I want Olivia to still wear the white hat, even if the had is sitting crookedly atop her head.

  • Crabtreeacres Nov 11, 2012

    A night with Fitz would fix it definitely! Or at least fix me! Her gut is wack. Even I saw that governor trick coming.

    Bushwhack Abby please! And let Harrison become Liv's confidante.

  • Akeele Nov 13, 2012

    lol she really does need a night with Fitz.

  • bluemystique Nov 11, 2012

    -Erm, both. I like Josh Malina and he's kinda interesting. But you know which awesome hot girls makes him endearing? No, not Red...Brenda Song. Where was she? I missed her. It's gotten to the point where I can't see an episode featuring David w/o seeing his trusty assistant too.

    - Hmm,interesting question. No. I don't think so. I still think that unlike Emma Swan's trust gut on OUAT, Olivia's is pretty solid. It isn't perfect, but it's solid. She knows about David and seemingly has for a bit, and seemed pretty aware of Abby too. Her not being aware of Cyrus is what's creepy. However, based on the relationship she has with the Senate lady and how easily she fell back into the comfort of Cyrus her mentor...I'm beyond curious as to what Olivia's family life was like. There was something sweet and scary about her curling up with Cyrus at the end and expressing how she doesn't like it when the bad guys win, all the while not knowing that Cyrus is one of those bad guys.

    - I did. But they managed to bring him up so often that his absence wasn't felt too much. "All Roads Lead to Fitz" plus it led to Cyrus and Mellie squaring off in another gem of a moment that both Jeff Perry and Bellamy Young delivered like Bosses!!! I kind of love Cyrus...Cyrus is wicked...awesome!

    - I think Abby means well, but I also feel like this may be telling of her as a person. Abby on her lonesome, though arguably annoying, is a fairly strong and outspoken type of gal. Abby with a man seems like the type to lose herself. She clearly did it with her ex-hubby and ended up in an abusive relationship, she would have done it with Stephen and often times got distracted by him, and she's doing it with David. But what I always enjoy no matter what, is Abbison action. I love the strictly platonic jesting and good humor between Harrison and Abby. And yes, Harrison is an underused character. Grossly underused, but in a way I also lke that he keeps that bit of mystery and suaveness that he has. Freaking LOVE Harrison. I hear he has something coming up which is why I haven't been too annoyed by it.

    -If that wasn't a well timed episode, being post election, I don't know what is!! Brenda Strong bore a similar appearance to Ann Romney for some reason, and the stuff with Ohio, and the number of just was awesomely creepy.

    -Huck was adorable. I love Huck. Huck is my main man. And nothing says "best first date eva" like a Class E misdemeanor. I loved the moment when the others came in to help him out and it was like all the relatively normal siblings helping their socially inept little brother prepare for his first date...right down to Quinn licking her hand and fixing his hair. All that aside...I kinda like my Socially challenged, Mentally off, Psychopathic serial killi--I mean whiskey loving hacker single. Like in my mind Huck is like asexual. He's not sexual at all. So I wonder what will come of this girl, is she shady somehow? Because she was very forward and pretty much commandeered a date. Will he get a little too thirsty and fall off the wagon? Ohhh...will she become a killer too?

  • acre1993 Nov 11, 2012

    geez nobody says that u had to agree with me u take tv way to seriously

  • ChiSilwizya Nov 10, 2012

    David Rosen- endearing, like a guppy swimming with sharks :) He's a good guy.

    Olivia- sick of hearing about her trusty intestines. Ready to see her do some dirty work, make some mistakes.

    Fitz- fck that guy. He's a parent and he made a commitment to Mellie. Fck his romantic angst.

    Abby- seems wrong to want to see an abuse victim get slapped...but if Liv does it I'm in.

    Voting booths- rigged election! Hollis is an evil asshole. And Cyrus is a boss.

  • Shreela Nov 10, 2012

    Cyrus telling off Mellie after Mellie spouted off to him = LOVED IT!

    Huck talking all arouse'y while forensing the dead guy = CREEPY, yet amusing (yes I'm ashamed).

    Oooh, Liv's gonna set Abbie up bad, and how!

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