What to Watch Tonight: The Vampire Diaries, Sirens, and the Season Finales of Community, Scandal, Parenthood, and The Crazy Ones

By Andy Daglas

Apr 17, 2014

What to watch on Thursday, April 17...

The sordid and shocking history of Greendale’s first dean (Chris Elliott) is revealed in “Basic Sandwich.” As the gang embarks on a treasure hunt to save the school from Subway’s mustardy clutches, Jeff and Britta contemplate behaving like full-fledged grown-ups for a moment.

8pm, The CW
The Vampire Diaries
In “Resident Evil,” Grams warns Bonnie about unnerving changes on the Other Side, because Subway University is opening campuses like everywhere these days. Meanwhile, Stefan and Elena are plagued by dreams of what might have been, Enzo opens up about a lost love, and Matt has a brush with denizens of the Other Side. Series star Paul Wesley (or possibly yet another doppelgänger) directs.

8pm, Fox
Hell’s Kitchen
The 15 remaining chefs tend to VIP guests, but one of them serves a dish that’s not yet fully cooked. (Or is it cooked at all?) (Or even dead?) (Is it a live chicken?) (Hell’s Kitchen, bro, you can tell me, do they straight-up throw a live chicken out there?) (They do, don’t they?)

8:30pm, NBC
Parks and Recreation
While Leslie and Ben oversee a charity auction to raise money for the unity concert, April tries to get a handle on Andy’s scatterbrained schedule. Elsewhere in “One in 8,000,” Donna seeks Ron’s help dealing with a former flame (Keegan-Michael Key).

The Crazy Ones
Gordon winds up as the face of Simon’s unorthodox campaign to save a library in “The Monster.” Then in “The Lighthouse,” Simon’s ex-wife/Sydney’s mom (Marilu Henner) holds the decisive vote when a corporation proposes to buy out the agency.

9pm, The CW
Mary’s brother arrives hoping to lure her back to Scotland in “No Exit,” but Francis suspects he’s up to no good because, well, Francis has watched this show before. In other duplicitous dealings, Lola mistrusts the reasons for Lord Julien’s marriage proposal, and Catherine and Kenna strike back when Penelope takes the reins from a faltering King Henry.

9pm, ABC
Grey’s Anatomy
Cristina seeks Meredith’s help on her acceptance speech in case she snags the Harper Avery, but she rebuffs Owen’s offer to join her at the ceremony. Meanwhile in “Go It Alone,” personal and professional pressures pummel Derek, and April and Jackson can’t see eye-to-eye on some major life decisions.

9:30pm, Fox
Surviving Jack
Homecoming is less than festive for both Frankie and Rachel in “Rhythm Is a Dancer”—he’s crestfallen that his crush has another date, and she’s raising hell against the school’s policy against, er, close contact. Back at home, Jack and Joanne plan to take full advantage of their kid-free evening.

In “The Price of Free and Fair Elections,” America heads to the polls to decide between the lesser of two douchebags. As both campaigns pull out all the stops, Olivia puzzles out Maya’s motives while Charlie makes an unexpected play.

“The Pontiac” reunites Amber and Ryan, sends Drew chasing after his dream, and puts Victor behind the wheel for a driving lesson from Zeek. Elsewhere, Sarah answers Hank’s request at long last, and Adam and Crosby tap into their inner children.

10pm, IFC
“Late in Life Drug Use” finds Brendan and Michelle sampling a new kind of chemical alteration, because eventually, the hard-earned lessons of D.A.R.E. wear off for everyone. Around town, Carrie receives a visit from her brother and his beau, Spyke and Iris partake of some disappointing cuisine, the Punslingers affix labels on a few new businesses, and the mayor arranges a Pride Parade.

10pm, USA
Hank’s arachnophobia spurs everyone to put their own fears under the microscope in “Itsy Bitsy Spider.” Meanwhile, Johnny’s practical-joking finally inspires a comeuppance, and a suicidal man is a dead ringer for Brian.

10pm, Comedy Central
Forrest angles for a quick buck, seeks vengeance, and lands in an institution. Sounds like he’s two thematically costumed henchmen away from achieving full “Gotham City supercriminal” status.

10pm, History
While Princess Aslaugh gets ready to pop out another baby berserker in “Boneless,” Ragnar and Hork clash over the goals for their current voyage to Wessex.

– Tracy Morgan, Judy Greer, and Broken Bells on Conan, 11pm, TBS
– Brooklyn Decker on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– Kevin Bacon and Andy Hendrickson on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS


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