's Top 100 Everything of 2012, Vol. 2: Items 90-81

By Staff

Dec 19, 2012

You're back! The dream of the '80s is alive on, as we bring you installment numero dos of our Top 100 Everything on Television for 2012. In this collection, you'll find blood and boobs, some very silly names, and one man's exclamation of his love of science. You know, normal TV stuff.

We'll trot out our picks 10 at a time, every weekday through the end of the year, so check back regularly to see what else made the cut or to learn how to count down from 100.

90. Spartacus has a blood orgy!

Starz's hack-and-slash series is well-known for its brutal violence and depictions of depraved sexual intercourse. But did you know that it sometimes offers both... at the same time!?!?! The season premiere of Spartacus: Vengeance staged a bloodbath at an orgy and it was gloriously over-the-top, under-the-back, all-over-the-front, and pooled all over people's bottoms. Even a guy who was just observing the sexy action and taking care of himself got penetrated, and not in the way he hoped. (And yes, there is video available; just know that it's not particularly high-quality and very NSFW.)

Previously: Spartacus "Fugitivus" Review: Spartacus Returns with a Vengeance

89. Happy Endings makes a man out of a boy

Picking out a single Happy Endings highlight for a list of 100 awesome things is like trying to find a snowflake in a haystack or whatever the saying is. But we settled on this Boys II Menorah music video because A) Damon Wayans Jr., B) Adam Pally, and C) all those frickin' steps.

Previously: Happy Endings "Boys II Menorah" Review: On the Wings of Love Airlines

88. Being Human gets off to a good start

Attention, people who make TV: This is how you start off an episode of television. Set to Josh Ritter's "Change of Time," the cold open of the second episode was the season's true beginning as Josh, Aidan, and Sally saw their problems go from worst to worstest. A beautiful sequence and a sign of what this show can be when everything is working.

Previously: Being Human "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?" Review: Monsters With People Problems

87. Nick gives everyone the finger in the season finale of Bachelor Pad

Everyone who competes on ABC's wretched and awesome Bachelor Pad deserves to have horrible things happen to them as they claw their way toward tabloid fame. Well, almost everyone. Nick spent the season on the outside of the cliques and was dismissed as a weirdo, but when it came time to cut the cake, he ate the whole damn thing himself in a first for the show. Nick, you're probably a scumbag, but since you screwed everyone else over you're okay in our book. (Sorry about the poor quality of the video, but the tears taste just as good.)

86. Sister Mary Eunice

The second season of FX's American Horror Story is home to all sorts of freaks, but none are as adorable as Sister Mary Eunice, the goody-goody nun who took a turn for the worse when a demon decided to jump her bones, skin, and the rest of her body. Jessica Lange (justifiably) gets a lot of the AHS attention, but we think Lily Rabe is the standout of Season 2.

85. Alphas' Nina gives herself a little shove

Syfy's Alphas is more than superpowered Law & Order, it's a look at how "heightened" abilities affect people—and nothing showed that better than "When Push Comes to Shove," an episode focusing on bad-girl Nina. She's lived a life of manipulation with her ability to control others, but when she hit a low point, she actually used her ability on herself to make herself believe something that wasn't true, delivering the series' most shocking twist.

Previously: Alphas "When Push Comes to Shove" Review: Pushed to the Edge

84. Key & Peele plays the name game

Comedy Central's sketch-show darlings have only gotten better, and this highlight of a strong season is a perfect showcase for their mix of cultural insight and stoner silliness. Watch 'til the end for the Shyamalanian tweeest!

83. "Yeah bitch, magnets! Oh!"

A Breaking Bad actor must be able to master a few emotions: raw anger, encompassing fear, bleak sorrow. But Emmy-winner Aaron Paul has another one that flows with ease... pure joy. And when Jesse's plan was tested and approved, this quote became a defining mantra for Season 5.

Previously: Breaking Bad "Live Free Or Die" Review: Loose Ends

82. The tension of Awake's "Two Birds"

The penultimate episode of Awake's first and only season decided that it would grab us by the throats and shake us until we almost gave up. Gripping from start to finish, "Two Birds" killed a bunch of dudes, unraveled a conspiracy, and heightened the sense of danger all while jumping between realities in this frenetically paced episode.

Previously: Awake "Two Birds" Review: We Don't Need No Stinkin' Badges

81. Pillowman

Piilowman destroy Blanket Town and all its inhabitants! Pillowman is an unstoppable juggle knob!

Previously: Community "Pillows and Blankets" Review: Pillows are the New Paintballs

Check back tomorrow for items 80-71!

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  • MarkFromOregon Jan 03, 2013

    Awake was a very clever and interesting show. It's too bad it never caught on with the mainstream audience. That show was good enough to where I will buy it for sure. If anyone hasn't checked it out, you should. A short 1 season commitment of 12-13 episodes is not too bad. ;)

  • melkat16 Dec 28, 2012

    Lily Rabe is amazing as Sister Mary Eunice. I hope she's in Season 3 of AHS! I'm so in love with her now I don't I could watch AHS without her on it.

  • titan4lizife Dec 28, 2012

    That 7 minute video actually makes me wish I'd seen the show.

  • JT_Kirk Dec 21, 2012

    Heh heh, Boys II Menorah, awesome callout.

    Good on the Key & Peele college bowl TV roster parody, that bit was funny, stupid, and then so stupid it was funny again.

  • layton2012 Dec 21, 2012

    I know its been hit and miss this season, but Barney proposing to Robin has to be on this list, and honestly Barney proposing to Quinn was also pretty great too.

  • CosmicSystem Dec 20, 2012

    Something about Community has to be first on the list.

  • CharmedOneP391 Dec 20, 2012

    Pillowman and Alphas OH YES

  • JusticeLeaguer Dec 20, 2012

    Happy Endings' Boyz II Menorah episode was hilarious and I'm glad to see that the song made the list. All the steps that were secrets were hilarious.

  • youngnan Dec 20, 2012

    the killing of sepia in spartacus better be number 1

  • youngnan Dec 20, 2012


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