What to Watch This Weekend: Haven's Return, Boardwalk Empire, and the Emmys
Friday again, glad to see it. I hope you all plan on sleeping in this weekend because if that's the case I also hope that you plan on overloading your DVRs in order to pull all-nighter marathons of literally everything that's new on TV. There should really be a world record for the most new TV watched in one sitting, if there isn't already. Why don't you look that up while I tell you about this weekend's TV lineup?
What to watch on Friday, September 21...
In tonight's "Blackflash," Kane secretly, but willingly, heads off to a new and alternative clinic in order to find better treatments for his illness. At the same time, his intentions for the housing project don't exactly go as planned—rather, they lead to a whole lot of looting and rioting. Your move, Kane.
SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, TLC
You probably would have chosen a different show to feature here, but you know, just take a look at what we're working with. Friday nights aren't exactly on fire until Fringe and Community come back. And this is a new series, so you might as well know what it is. Basically, four actual princes from around the world—who all happen to be single and not super attractive—move to Atlanta of all places in order to find jobs and separate themselves from their royal pasts by pretending to be "regular." Oh, and also, they try to date... which means, they're going to try to find a woman who will then fly home with them to their native countries and live forever in love. Sounds totally doable, guys!
SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 10pm, Syfy
Rejoice! Here's a Syfy show I know you've all been waiting for. In the Season 3 premiere, Nathan and Duke are on the hunt for Audrey, but as the town begins to experience stranger events than ever before, everyone starts to wonder if it will lead to even more disappearances.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
2012 NCLR ALMA Awards, SPECIAL, 8 p.m., NBC
America's Next Top Model, 8 p.m., The CW
Shark Tank, 8 p.m., ABC
WWE Friday Night Smackdown!, 8pm, Syfy
Bering Sea Gold: Under the Ice, 9 p.m., Discovery
Boston Metal, 9 p.m., NatGeo
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team, 9 p.m., CMT
Ghost Adventures, 9 p.m., Travel
Primetime: What Would You Do?, 9 p.m., ABC
Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta, 9pm, TLC
The Ultimate Fighter, 9 p.m., FX
Tyler Perry's For Better or Worse, 9 p.m., TBS
Cheer, 10 p.m., CMT
Deadly Women, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Eden Eats, 10 p.m., Cooking
Fashion Police, 10 p.m., E!
House Hunters, 10 p.m., HGTV
Real Time With Bill Maher, 10 p.m., HBO
Yukon Men, 10 p.m., Discovery
House Hunters International, 10:30 p.m., HGTV
Viola Davis and Paul Wesley on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Zooey Deschanel and Anthony Anderson on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Neil Patrick Harris on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
What to watch on Saturday, September 22...
SPECIAL, 8pm, Reelz
Creative Arts Emmy Awards
If you subscribe to the REELZ channel through your cable provider, you'll have access to an award show even more exclusive than the Primetime Emmy Awards—because at least that one's broadcast on national television. Saturday's rendition honors the creative and technical side of television, so if you're a diehard TV fan and want an even deeper look into how many people it takes to entertain you from your boob tubes, then you should tune in.
9pm, BBC America
In "The Power of Three" the Doctor begins to worry about a possible invasion on Earth after millions upon millions of evil black cubes begin to rain down from the sky. Sounds like a nightmare. but really it's just another day being Doctor Who!
Saturday Night Live
Joseph Gordon-Levitt will host this weekend, live from New York City—and if the show goes anything like it did last week then you're absolutely right to get excited about it. Mumford and Sons will perform, so be careful not to skip them over when you start fast-forwarding on your DVRs.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Bayou Billionaires, 9 p.m., CMT
Celebrity Ghost Stories, 9 p.m., Bio
Dateline: Real Life Mysteries, 9 p.m., TLC
Happily Never After, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
I Was Impaled, 9 p.m., Discovey Health and Fitness
Iyanla, Fix My Life, 10 p.m., OWN
My Fair Wedding With David Tutera: Unveiled, 9 p.m., WE
Tanked, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
The Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
Welcome to Sweetie Pie's: An Extra Slice, 9 p.m., OWN
48 Hours Mystery, 10 p.m., CBS
Deadly Affairs, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
The UneXplained, 10 p.m., Bio
What to watch on Sunday, September 23...
LIVE SPECIAL, 8pm, ABC
64th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards
Here she is! The Award ceremony we just can't stop talking about... because we're a TV site, no big deal. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will deliver the most incredible acceptance speech? Who will bore us to tears and refuse to leave even after the music starts to play? There's just so much to look forward to! Jimmy Kimmel will host this year and presenters include Ginnifer Goodwin, Mindy Kaling, Jim Parsons, Louis C.K., and Amy Poehler.
In "Spaghetti & Coffee" Eli is let out of jail, but has trouble with his new boss when he tries his hand at a new occupation. Meanwhile, Gyp stars to eye the route that runs between New York and Atlantic City, Chalky helps his daughter figure out what to do with her life, and Nucky hits a wall when he comes across a strange collection system in New York—whether he hits it figuratively or literally is TBD.
Hell on Wheels
In "The White Spirit" Lily and Cullen are caught in the aftermath of a tragic event that leaves them scrambling to preserve order in their lives. Elam, on the other hand, has decided to take full control over his future. So, envision those events alongside a whole lot of dirt and a couple of dusty cowboy hats and you've got this week's episode!
SERIES FINALE, 10pm, Bravo
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
It's all over. Is it all over? Will somebody please tell me when it's over? What is it about New Jersey that just breeds obnoxious reality show stars? If you couldn't tell, I'm featuring this in celebration that this show is bidding us adieu for the time being. Its promos, which pretty much just feature incoherent yelling, will finally stop popping up during my commercial breaks. But let's be honest for a second: a lot of us love to hate this show so much that we actually also love to watch this show. So I'm including this in here for you fine, possibly ashamed, few. In the finale, "Strip Down to Memory Lane," the women attend the very same fashion show that ended in a wicked blowout last year. Sure, everybody wants to go in drama-free, but when Melissa runs into a guy she worked for during her stripper days, will that really be possible?
SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 10pm, HBO
The third season of HBO's New Orleans pseudo-tribute takes us all the way back to life in 2007. In "Knock With Me - Rock With Me" a neighborhood is stunned when the police react to a brass-band procession honoring a fallen musician, while Albert and Delmond struggle through the task of receiving reactions to their latest album. LaDonna looks for a way out of her new housing situation, Toni makes a friend while she pushes on in her battle for justice, and Janette (back in New York) reunites with Enrico Brulard. Lots to get caught up on, so you'd better start now!
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Broadway or Bust, 8 p.m., PBS
Cupcake Wars, 8 p.m., Food
Off the Hook: Extreme Catches, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
Rehab With Dr. Drew, 8 p.m., VH1
The Code, 8 p.m., Science
Bar Rescue, 9 p.m., Spike
Behind the Music, 9 p.m., VH1
Boardwalk Empire, 9 p.m., HBO
Hell on Wheels, 9 p.m., AMC
Long Island Medium, 9 p.m., TLC
Masterpiece Mystery!, 9 p.m., PBS
Nail Files, 9 p.m., TV Guide
Oprah's Lifeclass, 9 p.m., OWN
Sins & Secrets, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Snapped, 9 p.m., Oxygen
The Great Food Truck Race, 9 p.m., Food
$24 in 24, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Food
The Hunger: Death Race, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
All American Handyman, 10 p.m., HGTV
Bridezillas, 10 p.m., WE
Breaking Amish, 10 p.m., TLC
Copper, 10 p.m., BBC America
Flip Men, 10 p.m., Spike
Ice Road Truckers, SEASON FINALE, 10 p.m., History
Kevin & Dani Jonas, SPECIAL, 10 p.m., E!
Taboo, 10 p.m., NatGeo
Unusual Suspects, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
What are you watching this weekend?
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