What to Watch Tonight: Bones, Bunheads, and the Premieres of Dallas and RuPaul's Drag Race
What to watch on Monday, January 28...
8pm, The CW
The Carrie Diaries
“Read Before Use” finds Carrie accompanying Larissa and Mouse to a Big Apple art club, and confronting Sebastian about his past. You can bet that past is riddled with indiscretions, because everybody knows that people in pop culture named “Sebastian” are always vaguely dickish WASPs when they aren’t talkative animal companions.
One burial site turns up two bodies in “The Twist in the Plot,” and hilarious hijinks ensue when it turns out that one of the corpses is really snobby and fastidious but the other is a total freewheeling slob! Why, they make quite the odd... wait, what? Sorry, I’m being told that does not happen. Actually, it inspires Booth and Bones to discuss their own funereal preferences. I suppose that conversation could be fraught with hijinks too?
SEASON 5 PREMIERE, 9pm, Logo
RuPaul’s Drag Race
A new crop of drag queens enters the arena for another season of haute couture, bravura performances, and general stuff-strutting. Fun trivia: According to the show’s website, the names of this season's 14 contestants contain a total of six X’s.
9pm, ABC Family
Michelle returns to her Las Vegas showgirl-ing ways, according to the episode summary for “The Astronaut and the Ballerina,” which... hang on, didn’t that just happen like three weeks ago? Yes, technically, then she was a Henderson showgirl, but still. We’re not going to make a habit of schlepping Michelle back to the vicinity of Clark County, NV every few weeks, are we Bunheads? You’re better than that.
SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, Style
Submitted without further comment, the verbatim description of this new reality series that I know you will all adore: “Manhattan handymen, who are also high-fashion models, make over homes and help clients with remodelling challenges. In the opener, the guys create a wealthy woman’s dream closet; and one model tries to stay in shape for an important underwear gig.”
SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10pm, TNT
Control of Ewing Energies is on the line as the rebooted soap returns with “Venomous Creatures,” and everyone wants a piece of the action. As Elena tries to raise her profile, John and Pamela are in cahoots to nab Christopher’s shares out from under him. All the while, the spirit of Larry Hagman gazes down upon the machinations, wringing his hands and chortling to himself with supercilious glee.
In “ConFaegion,” Morrigan exacts vengeance against Vex in a scheme that manages to muck things up so badly for Bo, Dyson, and Tamsin that it’s up to the humans to save the day. Could that Staff of Righteousness Bo recently recovered come in handy for Kenzi and Lauren? Certainly it will at least prove more useful than my Talisman of Facetiousness.
– Emmy Rossum, Dave Franco, and Los Straitjackets on Conan, 11pm, TBS
– Allison Williams on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– Bob Costas on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11pm, Comedy Central
– Michael Shellenberger, president of The Breakthrough Institute, on The Colbert Report, 11:30pm, Comedy Central
– Catherine Zeta-Jones, Donny Deutsch, and Lady Antebellum on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Melissa McCarthy, David Morrissey, and David Byrne and St. Vincent on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– Jude Law, J.B. Smoove, and Gavin DeGraw on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 11:35pm, ABC
– Brian Williams, Max Greenfield, and Eric Burdon on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC
– Kathy Griffin and Michael Weatherly on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING TONIGHT?
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