What to Watch Tonight: The Bachelor Reveals a Winner, The Following Introduces a New FBI Agent, and Dallas Says Goodbye to J.R.

By Andy Daglas

Mar 11, 2013

What to watch on Monday, March 11...

The Bachelor
Before Sean can choose between his two remaining suitors, he must take each lady on a final date, introduce them to his family, and then throw in a “game-changing surprise,” which will almost certainly mean handing them a couple of longswords and dispatching them to the Scottish highlands to do glorious, mythic battle. 

8pm, The CW
The Carrie Diaries
In “The Great Unknown,” Mouse clashes with a jock who yoinked the top spot in their class ranking right out from under her, and if you think that’s an unfair fight then you’ve never seen how skillfully Mouse wields sai like her favorite Ninja Turtle. Meanwhile, Carrie lashes out at Sebastian when Dorrit up and vanishes, and Tom consults Larissa for advice about women.

8pm, ABC Family
Switched at Birth
What impact will last week’s landmark protest at Carlton have? The students find out in “Introducing the Miracle,” which also sees a sudden end to John’s campaign and a beginning to Lana’s labor. Elsewhere, Emmett considers breaking the news of Daphne and Noah’s kiss to Bay, and a sloshed Regina calls on Angelo for help.

8:30pm, CBS
Rules of Engagement
The March repeat doldrums are Rules of Engagement’s time to shine, y’all! While CBS’s other Monday shows enjoy their post-sweeps vacation, Rules of Engagement is totally raiding How I Met Your Mother’s fridge and reading all of 2 Broke Girls’ magazines and dog-earing the pages. It’s also going to air “Baby Talk,” where Jeff is paranoid that Audrey is turning their unborn baby against him. Just try and stop it!

9pm, Fox
The Following
The FBI has apparently been watching The Following, because in “Welcome Home” the brass appoints a new team leader who might actually refrain from stumbling into an all-consuming vortex of incompetence at literally every turn. On the megalomaniac front, Carroll connects with a follower from his past, and thus finally recovers that VHS copy of Dirty Dancing the guy borrowed, like, forever ago.

9pm, TNT
It is safe to say that without the towering, magnetic presence of Larry Hagman’s J.R. Ewing, the original Dallas would not have made such an indelible mark on the TV landscape, and this sequel series would not exist. So fittingly, in the aftermath of J.R.’s death (mirroring Hagman’s passing last year), the Texas clan honors the memory of the man who once survived the most famous attempted murder in TV history. “J.R.’s Masterpiece” promises a funeral worthy of the Ewing patriarch—that is, one rife with familial duplicity and shocking revelations.

10pm, E!
Burning Love
“Pool Party” presents Mark the opportunity to get acquainted with the ladies, and maybe to partake in a sexy, sexy round of Marco Polo. Later, he arranges a surprise reunion for Agnes and her son.

10pm, Syfy
Lost Girl
There’s no rest for the weary in “Fae-ge Against the Machine,” as Bo’s attempt to take a night off instead steers her into a scavenger hunt on dangerous Dark Fae turf. Still, a scavenger hunt is probably better than getting roped into a game of Capture the Flag—I hear Dark Fae take no prisoners in that sport.

– Snoop Lion and Rorke Denver on Conan, 11pm, TBS
– Rachel Zoe on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– Halle Berry, Rachel Maddow, and Ashley Monroe on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Michael Bloomberg and Depeche Mode on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– Justin Timberlake, Timothy Olyphant, and the latest Celebrity Apprentice castoff on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC
– George Hamilton on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS


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