American Dad!

A Smith in the Hand

Season 2, Ep 2, Aired 9/18/05
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  • Episode Description
  • When Steve brings home a permission slip to take sex ed at school, Stan flips out and demands to teach it himself. However, after Stan unrealistically explains the birds and the bees to Steve, he gets into an accident that causes him to take matters into his own hands. Meanwhile, Roger becomes a bartender in hopes of making something of himself.

  • Cast & Crew
  • Wendy Schaal


  • Scott Grimes


  • Dee Bradley Baker


  • Seth MacFarlane


  • Rachael MacFarlane


  • Fan Reviews (14)
  • Weird episode

    By fsaenz0125, Dec 30, 2011

  • Awesome

    By jmbsonic555, Oct 14, 2011

  • superb

    By futuramarama, Jun 26, 2011

  • Smith takes up masterbation

    By scotty_9002, Mar 12, 2007

  • I hate this episode.

    By captaindillo456, Jul 26, 2007

  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (19)

    • Stan: (after he's done "applying ointment") Phew! Enough of that for one day. (gets more ointment) Might as well make it a baker's dozen. Besides, I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm healing. And healing feels good. Incredibly good. Like God has kissed me with a mouthful of Scotch.

    • Steve: (after watching Sex Ed. movie) Wow! That's messed up! So how do we defeat these evil urges? Stan: The way I have my entire life. (clicks on light in basement) With hobbies! Hobbies keep your mind clean and your hands busy. I've had a hobby since I was your age and not once have I played a solo on the devil's clarinet.

    • Steve: Awesome job, dad. I really think we're winning the war on urges. Terry: Sir, the phones are lighting up. Stan: Fantastic. Terry: It's mostly death threats, but I think you're doing an amazing job. (Gets shot with a dart on the neck by Steve) Steve: No one likes a suck-up, Terry.

    • (To the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) Stan: Lava, acid, and your crotch, these are things you must not touch. Steve: Rest assured your eyes will melt, if you drift below the belt...

    • Steve: So, you're saying I should never ever have sex before marriage? Stan: That's right, or angels will kill you.

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    Notes (15)

    • According to the series DVD commentary and collection of deleted and alternate scenes, there was a scene after Stan locks himself in the closet where Timmy (the boy from the "Wages of Self-Abuse" film) encourages Stan to masturbate.

    • In this episode, we learn that Steve is 14 years old (Stan brings it up just before he and Francine talk to Principal Lewis), but in the "Pilot," Hayley says "think you'll hit puberty before you turn 14?". Obviously, Steve has had at least one birthday since the pilot.

    • This episode was originally supposed to air as the second season premiere, but FOX did not want to air an episode, where there was a small amount of terrorist references and appearances, on September 11th.

    • Channel 7 (AU) airdate: March 8, 2006.

    • BBC TWO (UK) airdate: December 20, 2005.

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    Trivia (8)

    • The shows that Stan throws off the air after he takes over a TV network include Wife Swap and SpongeBob SquarePants. The shows have been accused by conservatives of promoting homosexuality.

    • There's a slight error in dialogue during the scene where Stan is at the pharmacy. Stan says to the pharmacist that, concerning the refills of ointment, he's got two left. The pharmacist says "No, remember, you blew through those and made me call the doctor for eight more." Then Stan says, "Right, so I'll just take my last six tubes and get out of your hair." The line should have been, "You blew through those WHEN you made me call the doctor for eight more" because, that way, Stan would have had fourteen more tubes of ointment coming his way instead of six.

    • The motel Stan visits to periodically pleasure himself is called the 'Bates Motel; an obvious abbreviation of "Masturbates." This is also the name of the motel in the Alfred Hitchcock's film, Psycho.

    • When Stan puts make-up on Francine, it looks clown-like, but when she is driving Steve to school, her make-up is normal.

    • During Stan's briefing, the list of enemies includes Osama bin Laden, Fidel Castro, and Kim Jong Il.

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    Allusions (6)

    • Roger: Pancreas The scene in which Hayley removes Roger's pancreas is an allusion to the 1979 film Alien. In the film, an alien comes out of a man's chest, Screeches, and runs across a table to escape, knocking over everything in its path.

    • Langley Falls Post front page headline: "Israel Pulls out of Gaza, Gaza not Pregnant." The Langley Falls Post headline is a spoof of the contraceptive techinque of "withdrawl" where the male withdraws his penis from the female's vagina prior to orgasm/ejaculation. It is the least reliable and effective contraceptive technique because of pre-orgasmic ejaculate as well as the fact that a lot of people forget or are unable to withdraw in time or at all in that moment, which can result in pregnancy.

    • Roger: Oh, what fresh hell is this? A famous quote of writer Dorothy Parker and the name of a biography about her. Reportedly, this is what she'd say when she'd answer the phone.

    • Episode Title: A Smith in the Hand This is a paraody of the proverb, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

    • Klaus & Roger: Francine! This is a throwback to the popular NBC show Cheers, wherein the character Norm, played by George Wendt, would enter the bar, named after the show, everyone would shout, "Norm!" Klaus and Roger do the same thing when Francine enters "Roger's Place."

    Show More Allusions
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