Better Off Ted

ABC (ended 2010)
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1,438 votes
  • show Description
  • Ted Crisp loves his job. He works for the team at Veridian Dynamics, where nothing is too far-fetched, or out of the ordinary. An average day for Ted could easily involve creating a suicidal turkey, for instance. The only problem is, Ted is ethical and the company is not. The show is being produced by 20th Century Fox Television and ABC Studios.

  • Latest News
  • Episode Guide
  • S 2 : Ep 13

    Swag the Dog


  • S 2 : Ep 12

    It's My Party and I'll Lie If I Want To


  • S 2 : Ep 11

    Mess of a Salesman

    Aired 1/26/10

  • S 2 : Ep 10

    Lust in Translation

    Aired 1/19/10

  • S 2 : Ep 9

    The Long and Winding High Road

    Aired 1/12/10

  • Cast & Crew
  • Jay Harrington

    Ted Crisp

  • Portia de Rossi

    Veronica Palmer

  • Andrea Anders

    Linda Zwordling

  • Jonathan Slavin

    Phil Mymen

  • Malcolm Barrett

    Lem Hewitt

  • Photos (18)
  • Top Contributor
  • Gislef

    User Score: 1097


  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (409)

    • Commercial: Veridian Dynamics. Every day something we make, makes your life better. Power, we make that. Technology, we make that. Cows. Well, no, we don't make cows. Although we have made a sheep. And medicines. And airplane engines. And whatever this is. And all sorts of things. Veridian Dynamics. Every day something we make, makes your life better. Usually. Veridian. Life. Better.

    • (Ted talking to Phil after the talk with his daughter) Ted: Just tell them (the firm) you don't want to do it, they can't force employees to participate in human experiments. They lost that court case.

    • Veronica: We want to make a metal that is hard as steel but can bounce like rubber, and is edible.

    • Veronica: We want to weaponize a pumpkin. Ted: Then so do I. Because? Veronica: There's a country with whom we do business that grows a great deal of pumpkins and would welcome additional uses for them. As well as cheaper ways to kill their enemies. Ted: Well, finally the pumpkin gets to do something besides Halloween. Veronica: Pie. Ted: Halloween and pie.

    • Ted: Okay, people, we need to turn this simple festive gourd into a killer. I've asked Dr. Bamba to take a look at how Nature does it, because Nature is a fantastic killer of things.

    • Lem: What... that's not normal, Phil. Phil: It becomes normal... if you keep doing it. Everything does.

    • Ted: "Never give up." That's what I always tell my daughter. She tells me to stop telling her, but I tell her I can't, because that would be giving up.

    • Ted: You think it's possible? Veronica: Yes, Mr. Negative, we do. We have developed a chemical that allows us to rapidly freeze animal tissue without it exploding. And--fingers crossed--we're ready for human testing. Ted: Your presentation sucks.

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    Notes (35)

    • International Airdates: Latin America: September 14, 2009 on Canal FX Czech Republic: April 19, 2010 on Prima COOL United Kingdom: July 27, 2010 on FX

    • Presumably since they hadn't settled on a final spelling, Maz Jobrani's character name is spelled "Bamba" in the end credits. It will be spelled "Bhamba" in all subsequent episodes where he appears.

    • The show was ordered to series on 26 August 2008.

    • International Airdates: Latin America: September 21, 2009 on Canal FX Czech Republic: April 20, 2010 on Prima COOL United Kingdom: July 27, 2010 on FX

    • International Airdates: Latin America: September 28, 2009 on Canal FX Czech Republic: April 21, 2010 on Prima COOL UK: August 3, 2010 on FX

    • International Airdates: Latin America: October 5, 2009 on Canal FX Czech Republic: April 22, 2010 on Prima COOL UK: August 3, 2010 on FX

    • International Airdates: Latin America: October 12, 2009 on Canal FX Czech Republic: April 26, 2010 on Prima COOL United Kingdom: August 10, 2010 on FX

    • International Airdates: Latin America: October 19, 2009 on Canal FX Czech Republic: April 27, 2010 on Prima COOL United Kingdom: August 10, 2010 on FX

    Show More Notes

    Trivia (9)

    • A flashback reveals that on Linda's first day of work Veronica admits that she will be stealing her hairstyle. In a previous episode Veronica admits to Rose that the hairstyle takes a few years to adjust to, yet Linda admits in this episode to only working at Veridian Dynamics for six months.

    • For the first time, the Veridian Dynamics commercial isn't shown at the first commercial break. Instead, it was showed at the beginning of the episode.

    • Trivia: There's no Veridian commercial.

    • Trivia: No Veridian commercial

    • Trivia: No Veridian commercial

    • Trivia: No Veridian commericial

    • Trivia: No Veridian commercial

    • Trivia: No Veridian commercial

    Show More Trivia

    Allusions (17)

    • Linda: What gave you that idea--the fact that you shrunk my cubicle into a hobbit hole? Referencing the fictional mythical creatures created by J R R Tolkien. Also known as halfings, they first appeared in The Hobbit (1937), and are on average 3-1/2' tall creatures who live on average to the age of 100 and are known for their furry feet. The hobbits play a significant role in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy.

    • Ted: Because I'm an actual parent, not Willy Wonka. Referencing the fictional candy manufacturer created by Roald Dahl in 1964 in the novel Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The eccentric candymaker has since been the subject of a sequel novel and two movies, Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory (1971, starring Gene Wilder) and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005, starring Johnny Depp).

    • Linda: Okay, first of all, "the fish" has a name. He's MacGyver. Referencing the iconic 80s action hero and the TV series of the same name, starring Richard Dean Anderson in the title role as a adventurer, environmentalist, rescue worker, and spy whose specialty was improvising solutions to problems using common items.

    • Title:

      Referencing the poem by Lewis Carroll found in the 1872 novel Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There. The Jabberwock is a huge dragon-like beast. The boy in the poem slays it using a vorpal sword to behead the vile creature.

    • Ted: Less Hulk, more Bruce Banner. Referencing the Marvel comic book character created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, first appearing in The Incredible Hulk #1 (May 1962). Scientist Bruce Banner is exposed to gamma radiation and under emotional stress transforms into a super-strong green behemoth known as the Hulk. The character has gone through various incarnations over the years, spawned a live-action TV show and various animated shows, and feature movies.

    • Veronica: If it had been up to you, it wouldn't have been Schindler's List. Referencing the 1993 film starring Liam Neeson, based on the novel Schindler's Ark by Thomas Keneally. It tells the story of war profiteer Oskar Schindler in 1939 Sudetenland, who uses his influence to save Jews from the concentration camps during World War II.

    • Ted: How do I convince you that I'm ready to graduate from this League of Extraordinarily Perverted Gentlemen? Referencing Alan Moore's graphic novel series, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. The original series, set in the late 19th century, featured Mina Harker, Allan Quartermain, Dr. Jekyll (and his counterpart, Mr. Hyde), Captain Nemo, and Hawley Griffin, the Invisible Man, teaming up to defend England from the machinations of Fu Manchu. Subsequent sequels have featured the same team battling Martians, and then Mina Harker continuing on for adventures in subsequent years. The first series was loosely adapted into a movie in 2003.

    • Phil: All these innocent machines hacked to pieces. It's like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, if somebody massacred the chainsaws.
      Referencing the 1974 movie directed by Tobe Hooper, and based loosely on the exploits of serial killer Ed Gein. The movie features the character "Leatherface," a hulkish killer wearing a leather mask and wielding the title chainsaw, and gave rise to subsequent sequels, remakes, and prequels.

    Show More Allusions
  • Fan Reviews (28)
  • Why do all the best shows get cancelled?

    By JoyDouthwaite, Mar 29, 2015

  • Still Missing

    By streetsahead, Apr 08, 2014

  • it's not better off that teds cancelled!

    By Josiahcro, Jan 25, 2014

  • Better Off Ted is Epic

    By Asdrubal_Ribeira, Jan 23, 2014

  • Never say never

    By PatrickBruckn, Dec 27, 2012