Chocolate News

Trivia, Quotes, Notes and Allusions

Quotes (4)

  • Peanut Wiggins: "Okie dokie fine..."
    Peanut Wiggins: "Hello? Oh, hey DD, HEY GIRL HEY. Uh huh, Uh huh, Uh huh, Uh huh, oh, I ain't doin' nuttin' cept help people vote N things..."

  • (opening monologue, part I) David Alan Grier: Holy shit! Did we just elect Barack Obama President of the United States? I've got to be honest America, I didn't think you had it in you. That is a seven million vote T.K.O. You were not playing around, cause you just put a black man, with a brown name in the White House. Ain't this a bitch. President Barack Obama. Words so sweet they melt in your mouth. I think of all the stories my grandmother told me, growing up in the segregated south, marching with my family as a little boy with the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. I never thought I would live to see this day in my lifetime, it is incredible -- to have my own show, here on Comedy Central. I'm excited and the Obama thing, that's cool too.

  • (opening monologue, part II) David Alan Grier: I hate to stick my junk in the jello, but Barack, you cannot screw this up. This is a once in millennium opportunity, because if you drop the ball, every brother and sister from Memphis to Mozambique will go down faster than Lindsay Lohan at the WNBA All-Star Weekend. So, a few suggestions Barack. Ignore those parts of your black half that may make you want to, oh I don't know, smoke crack with a hooker in D.C. motel. Text message booty calls to your chief of staff, while having a stripper party at the Detroit mayoral mansion, or creating a show called House of Payne. While you're at it, ignore the parts of your white half that may make you want to lie to the country to start a war. Watch New Orleans drown, because you just don't give a damn, or use a fat white girl's cooter as a cigar holder. Barack Obama, please, I am begging you. Do not lose your damn mind!

  • David Alan Grier: This has been The Chocolate News, where from no pardon to the rose garden, from segregation to inauguration, from no bling to the West Wing, from picking cotton in the sun to riding on Air Force One. If it's chocolate, we're going to bring it to you.

Notes (1)

  • David Alan Grier portrayed the following characters in this episode: -Maya Angelou