This Season's Dancing With the Stars Stars Include Winnie Cooper, DJ Tanner, Gold Medalists, and Lando Calrissian

By Tim Surette

Mar 04, 2014

How did your Dancing With the Stars cast announcement party go? Mine started at 4am with two hours of highlights from the series' run (like that time that foreign judge guy shouted "Fantastico!" and that other time Cloris Leachman was possessed by a sexy 20-year old), and then of course DANCING. The Cha-Cha and the Fox Trot and the Charleston and the Robot, I did them all! And then of course everyone gathered around the boob tube with our eyes glued to Good Morning America (and really, is there any better way to say "Good morning, America!" than with a DWTS cast announcement?) as our best friends for the next few months were announced!

And oh what stars! NASA better recalculate its estimation of how many celestial bodies are in the night sky because a dozen of them are coming to Earth on Monday, March 17 at 8pm when the quadrillionth edition of Dancing With the Stars debuts on ABC. Oh, I can't wait anymore! Let's run down the celebs!

It will be '80s and '90s darlings battling against each other as Danica McKellar and Candace Cameron Bure square off. McKellar you obviously know from The Wonder Years, where she played the source of Kevin Arnold's sexual frustrations, Winnie Cooper. Or, if you're part of the math world, you'll know her as Miss August on the 2010 Babes of Mathematics calendar. Cameron Bure met fame in the late-'80s as the Full House daughter who wasn't the twins or the cute one, D.J. Tanner. Now she's a best-selling author who writes about family and spirituality, so expect some divine intervention as she shimmies her way to the finals. 

You want athletes? YOU ARE GETTING ATHLETES! Among them, former hockey loudmouth Sean Avery, who at one time not one person in the entire world liked. My main beef with him was that he once dated Elisha Cuthbert. On the exact opposite side of the spectrum from Avery are two inspirational athletes: Paralympic snowboarder and former Amazing Race contestant Amy Purdy, who lost both of her legs to meningitis when she was 19, and Diana "You're Never Too Old to Try Something Extremely Dangerous" Nyad, who made headlines last year after swimming from Cuba to Florida at the age of 64. But all eyes will be on Charlie White and Meryl Davis, who stole our hearts as the ice-dancing king and queen of the Sochi Olympics. Yes, these two long-time partners will be competing against each other. Will their partnership last? Will they fall down without the assistance of toe-picks? Do they have a ridiculously unfair advantage?

The ceremonial sacrifice will be Drew Carey, the host of The Price is Right and a former sitcom star. And the prerequisite reality star who's attempting to become a real star will be NeNe Leakes, who first made a name for herself on Real Housewives of Atlanta and parlayed that into roles on Fox's Glee and NBC's The New Normal. Billy Dee Williams, purveyor of malt liquor and the original owner of the Millenium Falcon, will also dance because what else is Billy Dee Williams doing? And the final two contestants are two guys I've never heard of, but they're probably of substantial importance to your teenage daughter: YouTube sensation and Justin Bieber opening act Cody Simpson, and James Maslow, star of Nickelodeon's Big Time Rush.

Also! This season, DWTS adds "The Switch Up" twist. Voters at home will have the power to switch up the stars' dance partners over the course of the season. Every couple will be required to switch partners at some point, so doesn't that completely ruin any early chemistry they'll try to have in the beginning? As previously announced, Erin Andrews will be co-hosting with Tom Bergeron, replacing Brooke Burke.

Wow! I'm out of breath and my arm is tingling and the left side of my face is drooping! How about you? Who do YOU think will win Dancing With the Stars?

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  • daniellecio Mar 06, 2014

    TEAM MERYL DAVIS!!! Not into the switching partners aspect though. I've also never heard of Erin Andrews, but there's no way she's worse than Brooke Burke, who I can't stand as an announcer!

  • dh4645 Mar 05, 2014

    I hope Amy Purdy wins. she's awesome

  • dh4645 Mar 05, 2014

    i do not watch this show, but i at least recognize a few of the faces...most of the time i have no idea who the "stars" are.

    i see Lando, Winnie, DJ, our 2 gold medalists, Drew Carey and the one DwTS dude that everyone knows.

    The rest i have no idea who they are.

  • mysticbeam Mar 05, 2014

    completely unfair that white and davis are in this

  • dh4645 Mar 05, 2014

    maybe, but i thought the same thing when they had a few other dancers/singers on, but they didnt win.
    i dont watch the show at all, but it's difficult not to hear about it when GMA and the local radio station i listen to on the way to work give updates all the time.

  • mysticbeam Mar 05, 2014

    I don't watch it anymore .having these kind of people with professional dance training on here violates the whole premise of the show though. If these 2 are popular enough than they'll run away with it because they've got a huge advantage over everyone else already. I admit though im not sure how popular white and davis are in the US

  • dh4645 Mar 05, 2014

    well they are popular since they won the gold for us, but i really havent thought of them since then. i had never even heard of them before even though they apparently won silver 4 yrs ago.

  • nitehork Mar 05, 2014

    Well, there goes any last vestige of cool Billy Dee had left.

  • alcalde Mar 05, 2014

    A quick read made me think I'd seen "The Price Is Wrong" and for one brief moment I thought Price Peterson was going to be on DWTS. :-(

  • Thanatos360 Mar 04, 2014

    What, no Kimmy Gibbler?

  • torque_smacky Mar 04, 2014

    The interesting thing about the Full House cast is that we've found out half of them were really as clean and sheltered as they appeared on TV, and the other half was as debauched and depraved as humanly possible. The cameras would go off and Candace would skip off to play with ponies, while Saget would light a narcotic and swear about the five (censored) he planned to bang that weekend.

  • dh4645 Mar 05, 2014

    stephanie was a little crazy too. but she grew up very nicely.

  • torque_smacky Mar 04, 2014

    I say this every year, but given how something like this somehow maintains high ratings (people like my parents help it a lot), I don't understand why ABC will never pony up the money to put actual stars in it.

    I would say a role like this should be beneath Math Genius Danica, but one Google Image search proves me wrong.

  • dh4645 Mar 05, 2014

    what do u mean by that last sentence?

  • shocker713 Mar 04, 2014

    Not shocked to see Sean Avery on the show, since there's a rule in the NHL unofficially named after him that mandates a 2-minute Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalty for dancing around like an idiot.

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