Dean Martin Celebrity Roast

William Conrad

Season 1, Ep 4, Aired 10/4/73
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  • Episode Description
  • Dean Martin roasts "Cannon" star Willam Conrad. On the dais are Phyllis Diller, Nipsey Russell, Petula Clark, Bob Newhart and Jackie Gayle. Highlights: Dean Martin sings "C'est Magnifique". Petula and Dean duet in a medley of "Top of the World", "The Good Times" and "It's a Good Day". In a mix-up, Bob Newhart makes arrangements to bury his deceased uncle in a pet cemetery. In a bar sketch, Bob Newhart plays a friendly, but intoxicated, customer.moreless

  • Cast & Crew
  • Phyllis Diller

    Herself (1973-78)

  • Nipsey Russell

    Himself (1973-1977)

  • Dean Martin

    Host

  • Jackie Gayle

    Himself (1973-1978)

  • Petula Clark

    Herself

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  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (3)

    • Dean Martin: Well tonight our Man of the Week is Mr. William Conrad, which gives you an idea of what kind of week it's been. We were originally going to honor Howard Cosell but he's been confined to bed with a faulty toupee. We were also considering Mr. Danny Thomas but he had a little accident while taking his daily walk on the water, he was hit by a fishing boat. However tonight we are paying tribute to a very fine actor, the star of a great series called "Cannon" which is my favorite detective show and I tell you last week they had a really thrilling episode Cannon singlehandedly wiped out a crime syndicate, he sat on them. I don't know if you know this but William played Matt Dillon on the radio version of "Gunsmoke", it's true, when they made the TV version of "Gunsmoke" they couldn't use Bill they had a little problem, they couldn't fit his horse with a truss. Even when Bill served in the War as a fighter pilot he had problems, he was too heavy, once they got in the plane and they couldn't get it off the ground, he had to drive it to Tokyo.

    • Phyllis Diller: How would you describe William Conrad? A fat Robert Goulet with mumps. The only thing thin about him is his hair. When he runs it looks like a mattress moving. When he clears that wonderful voice of his, it sounds like a motorboat that won't start. One time the coast guard found him in the Pacific Ocean, just his head and shoulders were sticking out of the water, they said, "Can we help you?", he said, "No I'm on my boat". Now this man turned down "Gunsmoke" on television and now he has the guts to say that this turkey "Cannon" is going to run 5 years.

    • Nipsey Russell: Thank you Dean, oh your going to drink to him, that's alright, I know Dean if the Klu Klux Klan would buy the booze, you'd drink to slavery.

    Notes (1)

    • William Conrad was also an acomplished voice actor being a veteran of radio shows and numerous animated shows such as being the narrator of the shows starring Rocky and Bullwinkle.

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