Jerome is the New Black

Trivia, Quotes, Notes and Allusions

Quotes (4)

  • Brian: I don't understand. Why would Quagmire not like me?
    Peter: Because he thinks you're annoying. Like people who don't shut up about their kids. (Cut to Peter wearing a brown sweater and sitting with Lois in a restaurant with another couple)
    Wife: He would've been four today. I don't understand. How do you drown in a puddle? (Cries)
    Peter: Well, I guess I'm not the one wearing a new sweater.

  • Stewie: You want to sleep in here tonight?
    Brian: (smiles, spirits liftd) I'd like that. (lays on the floor and Stewie turns off the light)
    Stewie: (a long fart fills the dark room) Oh, come oooon!

  • Stewie: (notices Jerome's cross) What is that? Is that a little black Jesus? Chorus: Black Jesus! (scene switches to a black Jesus in front of some villagers) Black Jesus: I rode into town on an ass... Yo mama's ass! Chorus: Black Jesus!

  • Brian: How can you not like me? Quagmire: Okay, I'll tell you. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You always say, "Oh, I'll get you later" but "later" never comes. And what really bothers me is you pretend you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation of how Holden Caulfield is some profound, intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much-he's you! God, you're pretentious! And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer, even though you're terrible! You know, I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would have known there's no "a" in the word "definite." And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda, how we should "legalize pot, man," how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well, what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there! You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! You don't believe in Jesus Christ or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots!" Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father! How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a bore! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore. (sighs) Well, see ya, Brian! Thanks for the f**king steak!

Notes (1)

  • This episode introduces the semi-recurring plot device involving Quagmire having a deep resent for Brian, in spite that in earlier episodes, they have interacted just fine.

Allusions (1)

  • The spinning rainbow ball in one of the kitchen scenes featuring Peter, Lois and Jerome about halfway through the episode is the symbol used in the computer operating system Mac OS X when the user needs to wait (comparable to the hourglass in Windows).