Family Law

Trivia, Quotes, Notes and Allusions

Quotes (11)

  • Randi: Sure you got yourself screwed here, didn't you, Lynn? Lynn: Yes, well... Randi: I'm not gonna take up much of your time. You're meeting with a lot of terrific attorneys. Any one will represent you very aggressively. And depending on how smart your husband was, they might even get you some decent money. That's not who I am, and that's not what I want for you. When your husband does get around to makin' a settlement offer, I want him to do it on his bare knees, bleeding from having crawled over here from his new, swanky office suite. I want to see him right here with his pants down around his ankles and whip marks on his bare back where he's been literally flogging himself for his stupidity and arrogance. And when we turn him down - I wanna see him burst into tears, lick your shoes, and beg for mercy. And only then will I even consider letting you take money from this poor excuse for a human being! (pause) How will I accomplish this outcome? (standing, smiling) Well, besides being a damn good attorney, I have only two qualifications - I hate men, and I play very dirty.

  • Randi: It's an annoying fact of life, but husbands can often see their wives' flaws much more easily than we can see our own. My former husband could certainly see right through me and he'd help me see it to. Usually by striking me with a baseball bat. Then one day, he swung and missed and I stabbed him to death. So, looking at it now, I suppose he didn't know me quite as well as he thought. For example, he didn't know I had that sharp knife. But, here I am talking about myself when we should be listening to your husband's insightful criticisms. (without missing a beat and smiling) We can go back on the record now.

  • Lawyer: She's not entitled to a panel of 12 swimsuit models. Danni: I'm simply choosing a jury that I feel will be fair and impartial. Lawyer: This is no different than a white defendant throwing all African-American jurors off the panel. It's an improper use of her peremptory challenges. Judge Prentiss: Miss Lipton, are you judging jurors based on their appearances? Danni: Your honor, in the voir dire I was concerned because juror number 8 said that punitive damages may be appropriate in cases of emotional distress. Lawyer: So did number 5, you gonna challenge her? (Danni looks over at juror number 5 who is a stunning female juror then back to the judge) Danni: Look, even if I was targeting jurors based on their appearance it's not racism, it's not ageism and it's not sexism. Lawyer: It's still prejudice. Danni: Your honor, ugly people are not a protected class.

  • Justin: If I didn't bark, she'd still be there. Maybe if I do it again then this lawsuit will go away. Woof, woof, woof, woof woof woof. Lawyer: Jury's going to love this guy. Danni: We'll give you $15,000. Justin: 15?! Danni: 17. Mrs Huntley: No! Lawyer: Marian, that's a very reasonable offer. Mrs Huntley: I don't want his money. Lawyer: That is why we're here. Mrs Huntley: I want what I deserve, I want him to cut my hair. Danni: That's all? Mrs Huntley: That's all. Justin: Nope. Danni: What? Justin: No. I would sooner cut off my hands than touch that head.

  • Danni: Justin, why are you here? Justin: I'm being sued. They want to destroy me. Danni (Reading from legal papers): Intentional infliction of emotional distress? Justin: I hardly spoke to the woman. Danni: What did you hardly say to her? Justin: She came into my salon wanting me to cut her hair. I told her I couldn't, her hair was so...she looked like a wet sheepdog. I asked her to leave. I told her I'm an artist, not a vetinarian. That's all I said. She wouldn't leave, I may have...barked at her a few times. (Danni sighs)

  • Miss Sims: I think you have the wrong impression of me. Danni: Miss Sims, there are many reasons why a woman wouldn't try to fight for custody, you don't have to justify it to me. Miss Sims: I wasn't a woman. (Danni pauses, then looks up at Miss Sims) Danni: But you are now? Miss Sims: That doesn't mean I want to give up being a father

  • Connie: If I want to send my son to boarding school I should be able to do that right? Danni: How old is your son? Connie: He turns six in July. Danni: I'm sorry, how old? Connie: He's six. Noel doesn't have the right to try and stop this. I have full legal custody. He moved to San Francisco when Brian was three. Since then Noel maybe sees him three, four times a year. Danni: Then he's not going to have a lot of standing with the court. I didn't know they had boarding schools for kids that age. Connie: I know it's young but it's a very nurturing school. it's a religious school, I'm a Buddhist and it's very important to me that my son have a proper religious education. Danni: Well, I don't think there's going to be much of a problem. I mean, as long as you're not sending him to some monastery in Tibet, there's really nothing your ex-husband can do to stop you. Connie: Actually, it's in Nepal.

  • Joe: Danni, I owe you an apology, I lied. Danni: No kidding. Joe: No, I mean to you. When you were up for the partnership it wasn't Rex who voted against you, it was me. Danni: Oh I'm such an idiot. Joe: Don't blame yourself. I'm very good at this. Danni: But why? You didn't even know me. Why the hell would you vote against me? Joe: Because I didn't know you. Danni: Perfect. Gotta go. Joe: Danni, I know you now and you're very good. Danni: Oh, bite me.

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Notes (21)

  • Music: The show's theme song is "War" by Edwin Starr from his "Motown Legends: War" CD.

  • Ginna Carter is the real-life daughter of Dixie Carter.

  • Bruce Abbott is Kathleen Quinlan's real-life husband.

  • This episode won an Environmental Media Award for its depiction of environmental issues (Lynn competes with her ex when her daughter's class project is an environmental "report card" that causes her to re-assess, among other things, her gas guzzler SUV)

  • This episode seems to be "ripped from the headlines" of the real-life case of the illegal sale of the Howdy Doody puppet slated for donation to a museum.

  • Bruce Abbott is married to Kathleen Quinlan, and Hal Holbrook is married to Dixie Carter.

  • The role of Andrew Weller was played by David Clennon in episode 1.06, "The Nanny".

  • In 2001 this episode won a Genesis Award in the Best Dramatic Series category.

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Allusions (2)

  • Danni (To Joe after he has been flirting with Viveca): Ready for court Mr Hefner? Danni is referring to Hugh Hefner, the editor-in-chief of Playboy magazine, who is well known for surrounding himself with beautiful women.

  • Viveca: Mickey Mantle practically drank himself to death and they gave him the first liver they could find. It's all politics. Mickey Mantle was a baseball Centrefielder for the New York Yankees. He suffered from chronic alcoholism and in 1995 underwent a liver transplant at the Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas.