The Seal Who Came to Dinner

Trivia, Quotes, Notes and Allusions

Quotes (17)

  • Niles: If my life gets any worse, I'm phoning Hell to ask about their exchange program.

  • Frasier: Niles, there's been a little misunderstanding. Perhaps it's time you explained to everyone about the dead seal. Niles: (laughing) Dead seal? At my Golden Apron dinner? That's enough bubbly for you! Frasier: Niles, they think you murdered Maris! Gretchen: I saw him stabbing her! Niles: Oh, I see what's happened! Oh, this is funny! Oh, you are all going to laugh when you hear this. I was simply stabbing a seal. Claudia: You killed a seal? Niles: Oh, no, no, I didn't kill it, it was already dead when we found it. McLean: You found a dead seal? Frasier: Yes. McLean: And it was wearing a peignoir? Frasier: Now that is ludicrous. We put the pegnoir on it. McLean: And the perfume too? Frasier: Yes, of course. McLean: So you found a dead seal, dressed it in a peignoir, doused it in perfume, and stabbed it? Niles: I told you you'd laugh. (The other policeman comes in with the torn, bloody peignoir) Athanis: I found this washed up on the beach. Niles: Well there, if that doesn't prove my innocence, I don't know what does.

  • McLean: Hello, is Niles Crane here? We're investigating a possible homicide. Claudia: What? McLean: Your neighbor saw Dr. Crane and another man row out to sea with a third party dressed in a nightie. The men returned alone. We suspect they dumped the body overboard. Frasier: Oh... all right, now, now, there's nothing to be alarmed about. Please gentlemen, come in, you see, I can clear this whole thing up. You see, I was the other man in the rowboat. Claudia: You dumped a body overboard? Frasier: Well... (Gretchen rushes in) Gretchen: Thank God you're here! I just saw a murder! Claudia: What? Gretchen: Dr. Crane was on the beach with his wife, Maris. I recognized her peignoir. I could even smell her perfume. He was stabbing her again and again. Frasier: Ah, no, clearly this woman is delusional. Listen, search the entire house, I defy you to find one scrap of evidence that there's been foul play here. Marcel: (from the kitchen doorway) My butcher knife has disappeared from the kitchen. McLean: (to his partner) Go check the beach.

  • Claudia: I've listened to your show. And what impressed me most is your ability to focus. Frasier: Yes, well I'm very proud of that. I try to give each of my callers my complete, undivided... (He notices Sebastian headed for the deck) Excuse me. Would you please just stay inside? We're about to start dinner. Sebastian: You said that ten minutes ago. Frasier: Yes, so it's even truer now, isn't it? Just sit down. (Frasier sits back down with Claudia) I'm sorry. Back to my show. Claudia: I must say, I was wondering myself when we'd be eating. It's getting late. Frasier: Well, Niles is in the kitchen, right now, trying to prod Marcel along. You know how it is with these perfectionists. (Marcel comes out of the kitchen) Marcel: I am waiting to serve. Where is Niles? Claudia: You mean he's not with you?

  • Niles: We can wrap it in this. Quick, quick, quick. Frasier: A peach peignoir? Niles: Yes, and I found perfume. Frasier: We're giving it a burial, Niles, not a day of beauty. Niles: It's to cover the smell, and the peignoir was all I could find. The beds were all stripped, the linen cupboard's locked. Frasier: All right, get on with it. (Niles sprays the seal with the perfume) Niles: Do you think that helped? Frasier: Oh, yes, Niles. It smells so lovely now it's almost a shame to bury it. Give me a hand with this. All right, OK, now let's turn it over.

  • Niles: Yes, Animal Control? A large seal washed up on my property, I need you to come remove it right away. Its condition? It's deceased. What? Oh, you're not serious. (to Frasier) He says they only handle live seals. (into phone) What kind of policy is that? If it were alive, I wouldn't need you, I could just scare it away myself. Frasier: I'd pay to see that. Niles: Oh, wait, I was mistaken. It's not dead after all, it's sitting up. It looks very disoriented. Come quickly! Frasier: (grabbing the phone) Give me that. Hello, this is Frasier Crane. You may remember me from my radio show. Niles: Oh, yes, that should send the Seal Mobile racing over here.

  • Niles: What is that revolting smell?! Frasier: It smells like it's coming from the beach. Niles: Oh, it's like garbage or rotting fish... Frasier: Or a dead seal. Niles: No, it's more like a rendering plant. Frasier: No, Niles. There's an extremely large dead seal right by this dinghy. Niles: Oh, dear God! (He rushes back inside. Frasier follows slowly) Frasier: You know, on the bright side, there's not a single crack in these windows.

  • Niles: Maris had it made after she lost power in a storm. Battery operated, works on a clapper (claps it off) so you can find it in the dark. (claps it on) Only problem was, the poor thing, try as she might, she could never clap hard enough to activate it.

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Notes (2)

  • International Episode Titles: Czech Republic: Zlatá zástěra (Gold Apron)

  • During the week of November 16-20, the syndicated "Frasier" episodes were chosen by the populace in an Entertainment Weekly poll. The five episodes were, in ascending order: "To Kill a Talking Bird", "The Matchmaker", "Breaking the Ice", "Frasier's Imaginary Friend", and "Moon Dance".

Trivia (4)

  • (Martin is wearing a colorful sweater) Pam: ...I love your sweater. Martin: Yeah, pretty cheerful, huh? Ya know, not everyone can wear these colors. Daphne: (sarcastically) It helps if you're a matador. Strange that Daphne would mock Martin's sweater, especially since it was her Christmas present to him the previous year in "Perspectives On Christmas".

  • Martin reveals that he has a "thing" for Asian women. Having already established earlier that he served in the Korean War, in this episode he flirts with Daphne's Korean friend Pam; Daphne confronts him about his "accidental" ordering of the video The Joy Luck Club which deals with Chinese women and he perks up at Niles's mention of Japanese geishas.

  • When Daphne leaves, she says to Martin (in part), "Mistake my fanny..." In England, the word "fanny" is not synonymous with "rear end"; it refers to the female genitalia, and thus makes it a slightly less likely thing for Daphne to say.

  • After Daphne's friends leave, Martin and Daphne go into the kitchen. Look closely and you'll see is that one second the jersey is undone, and the next second all the buttons are done up.

Allusions (1)

  • Frasier: "Sebastian Melmoth"
    This character's name was Oscar Wilde's pseudonym, which he took in France after his release from jail.