Green Acres

The Hole in the Porch

Season 6, Ep 23, Aired 3/2/71
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  • Episode Description
  • Oliver's temporary fix on his dry-rotted front porch proves pointless when Kimball removes the new board and promptly falls through. After Lisa moves the injured patient their bedroom to recuperate, he blows non-stop on his kazoo whenever he wants something. Ralph Monroe shows up wearing in a nurse's uniform from a theater production to care for her "Hankie" and throw herself at him while he can't run away. Self-appointed "attorney" Haney tries to soak Oliver with a $50,000 lawsuit just before local farmers bring their livestock into the bedroom for Kimball's animal clinic. Oliver finally storms out in search of a saloon.moreless

  • Cast & Crew
  • Jay Sommers

  • Patrick Cranshaw

    Farmer #2 (as J. P. Cranshaw)

  • Robert Freedman

  • Paul Henning

  • Guy Scarpitta

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  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (4)

    • Sam Drucker: (at Drucker's store) Something you wanted, Mr. Douglas?
      Oliver: I--I want an ice bag.
      Fred Ziffel: Got another hangover?
      Oliver: It's not for me. It's for Mr. Kimball.
      Fred Ziffel: Oh, you been teaching HIM how to drink, huh?

    • Ralph: Good night, Hankie. Would you like a little mouth to mouth resuscitation before I leave? (Hank puts the pillow over his face as Oliver wrestles Ralph off of him)
      Oliver
      : Ralph!

    • Eb: (pulling up piece of rotten porch wood) See how rotten the boards are.
      Oliver
      : I wonder if that's termites.
      Eb
      : Are you kidding? No self-respecting termite would eat this stuff!
      Olive
      r: This is dry rot.
      Eb
      : The story of your life.

    • Ralph:(holding pills) Here's your medication ,Hankie.
      Hank
      : What are they??
      Ralph: The green one is for pain and the red one is a...love potion.
      Hank: I'll take the green one and save the red one for when I am near a girl.
      Ralph
      : (angry) If you weren't in such pain, I'd slug you one!

    Notes (1)

    • The same goat that's brought in to Kimball's animal clinic would appear in the next episode as one of Lisa's patients.

    Trivia (2)

    • When the Hooterville Kazoo and Drum Corp comes in to serenade Kimball, they launch into the "Green Acres" theme song.

    • Kimball's self-appointed attorney tries to get Oliver to agree to a $50,000 out of court settlement for injuries. As he's being tossed out of the house, Haney offers to take $25 instead.

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