High Spirits with Shirley Ghostman

Episode Eight

Season 1, Ep 8, Aired 4/19/05
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  • Episode Description
  • A radio controlled car rides onto the stage with a small teddy sitting on it in the form of a dog. Shirley says it's his spirit guide Sheba. It's the grand final of Spirit Academy and the finalists are set for their biggest challenge to date, a psychic assault course. After a messy assault course involving readings and bobbing for stars in a paddling pool of gunge, Maria is crowned the winner of Spirit Academy and is presented with an award in the shape of a coffin. Shirley Vs The Sceptics: Shirley confronts Nick Pullar, manager of Sceptics in the Pub – a group that meets in London. Shirley is hopeful of proving his powers to Nick by doing a test. Nick has drawn a picture on a piece of paper and Shirley will hopefully replicate it. Shirley reluctantly opens his paper first, he has drawn multiple pictures on it. Nick has drawn the pie symbol on his paper. Shirley defends his error by claiming that if you do some calculations, his pictures do mean pie. Shirley presents his new quiz show idea to the audience – a game show about events in the world that haven't yet happened. Two members of the audience take part in the game, the audience don't seem impressed with the idea. The Paranormalists: Shirley's Dictaphone wielding apprentice Alf Szczurek (Marc playing another character) meets Paula at her haunted home. Alf is confident he will be able to rid Paula's home of the ghost. Alf says there is the spirit of a girl in the house. After much procrastination involving coffee, food and sexual talk about Paula down his Dictaphone, Alf traps the spirit in a tiny jar after a dramatic ghost hunt. E is for Evil as the final psychic A – Z is revealed. Shirley is going to stop his heart in order to visit the other side. He is joined on stage by Mark, a member of the audience who will bring him back to life with a defibrillator. Shirley is also joined on stage by Val, who will monitor his heartbeat. Shirley injects a drug into his arm that will incur cardiac arrest. He lies down and the heart machine flat lines. The audience watch on in horror as nothing happens. The screen fades to white… It is announced that Shirley could not be bought back to life. A short montage of previous episode clips ensues with Shirley singing in the background. The heart machine flat lining can be heard again and at the last second we see the heart machine, it beeps. R.I.P Shirley Ghostman?moreless

  • Cast & Crew
  • Patrick Stewart

    Narrator

  • Marc Wootton

    Shirley Ghostman

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  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (1)

    • Shirley: What a week I've had, ok. Someone came up to me, ok, after last week's show and said, ‘If ghosts exist, why have I never seen one?' Well I've never seen the Queen's wrinkly arse but I know she's got one. He knows what I'm talking about, don't ya'? Shirley: Ok, all right. I feel ya' pain, I feel ya' shame, but ya' not to blame. It wasn't your fault. They shouldn't have put the light switch next to the life support system. Ok, all right, god bless. Love and light, love and light. Shirley: Right, and in third place is, Maria… look at me, just look at me. Ok. Is Joel. Commiserations Joel. Shirley: Brace yourselves ladies and gentlemen because I am gonna' give you a taste of a new quiz show that's gonna blow your tiny, pea sized brains.

    Allusions (1)

    • Shirley Ghostman: If you're so psychic Shirley, what's gonna' happen on the National Lottery?
      The National Lottery is the UK's weekly chance to win a big cash prize.

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