M*A*S*H

Father's Day

Season 9, Ep 4, Aired 12/8/80
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  • Episode Description
  • Margaret has trouble pretending she's a chip off the old block when her dad, blood and guts "Howitzer" Al Houlihan, arrives for a visit. Also, Hawkeye fixes up a soldier who repays them with a large side of steak, but the general who it belongs to is really steamed.

  • Cast & Crew
  • Karen Hall

  • Alan Alda

  • Andrew Duggan

    Alvin 'Howitzer' Houlihan

  • Jeffrey Kramer

    Sergeant Morgrove

  • Art LaFleur

    M.P.

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  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (3)

    • Klinger: I just got a call. General Beswick is pretty steamed about his plate full of liver. He's got MPs sniffing everywhere. When they show up here, it'll be his cow and our hides. Hawkeye: Well, we're not gonna give up without a fight. That's our beef. BJ: We stole it fair and square. Klinger: I respect your lack of integrity, but what are we gonna do? BJ: We'll start the party a little early, that's all. Klinger: That heifer's frozen solid. We'll never get it thawed before the MPs get here. Winchester: Uh gentlemen, do my ears deceive me or have you purloined some sirloin? Hawkeye: Not only sirloin, an entire side of beef. Winchester: Uh, Hawk, Beej, Max, aren't we the four musketeers? Fighting, wenching, dining? Hawkeye: Relax, Pathos, you're in! Klinger, get that beef over here and don't let anybody see you. Klinger: Coming right up. One side of beef, hold the witnesses.

    • Charles: Pierce, if this is another practical joke and there is no side of beef, rest assured I'm gonna make hamburger out of both of you.

    • Colonel Potter: You know, I never got the chance to tell you how much Margaret means to us. We couldn't run this place without her.
      Alvin Houlihan: Well, that gal is the best thing that ever happened to me!
      Colonel Potter: Is that so? Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it.
      Alvin Houlihan: I beg your pardon?
      Colonel Potter: Margaret's busted her britches trying to please you, but you don't seem to give a tinker's damn!
      Alvin Houlihan: Forgive me, Colonel, but what business is that of yours?
      Colonel Potter: It is my business because I care about her. That gal seems to think you have no use for her.
      Alvin Houlihan: Well, I flew halfway around the world to see her, didn't I? That should say it all.
      Colonel Potter: It doesn't say enough when all you can do is find fault.
      Alvin Houlihan: What do you mean by that?
      Colonel Potter: Well, for openers, walking out on her in the middle of O.R. didn't exactly boost her morale.
      Alvin Houlihan (Looking away from Potter): That had nothing to do with Margaret!
      Colonel Potter: Really? Then what did it have to do with?
      (Alvin does not respond.)
      Colonel Potter: Was it the doctors' Tom Foolery?
      (Alvin still does not respond.)
      Colonel Potter: Was it the blood?
      (Alvin looks up.)
      Colonel Potter (walks a step away and turns around again to face Alvin): Let me tell you something, Alvin, I've seen tougher birds than you who couldn't take it!
      Alvin Houlihan: It shouldn't be happening to me.
      Colonel Potter: You mean you'd sooner let her think she was a failure than admit you were about to lose your lunch? You'd rather crush her feelings than let on you're human like the rest of us?
      Alvin Houlihan: Colonel. . .
      Colonel Potter: You're so busy being 'Howitzer Al' Houlihan you can't even let your own daughter know you love her?!
      Alvin Houlihan: Colonel, you raise your family and I'll raise mine.

    Notes (1)

    • This is the first of 7 episodes written by Karen Hall. The last is the final episode. She also directed one episode.

    Trivia (1)

    • In episode 3-16 entitled "Bulletin Board", Margaret tells Henry Blake that he looks like her father before her dad died. This episode Margaret's father visits the camp.

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