Goodbye, Cruel World

Season 8, Ep 21, Aired 2/11/80
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  • Episode Description
  • Klinger redecorates his quarters, but the resultant ridicule he receives drives him to new heights in his efforts to get out of the Army. Meanwhile, the doctors are perplexed by the reaction of an Asian-American war hero who tries to kill himself when he's told that he will be going home. Sidney Freedman is called in to assist.

  • Cast & Crew
  • Thad Mumford

  • Dan Wilcox

  • Charles S. Dubin

  • Philip Bruns

    Colonel Hedley

  • James Lough


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  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (7)

    • B.J.: You dummy, Toledo is the first place they're gonna look for you! Klinger: Sure, for Max Klinger. Not for: Sven Lundgren! B.J.: Sven? Klinger: Shh! Yumpin' Yimminy, not so loud! B.J.: It'll never work. You'd have to bleach your entire body! Klinger: Thanks! That'll clinch it!

    • (Sidney heads for Post-Op) Klinger: Sure. Go on. Abandon me like everybody else. Trample my feelings like they were so many dead roses. Sidney: Klinger--can you hold that thought?

    • Hawkeye: You did good, Doc. Sidney: Oh, just meatball psychiatry. There's still a lot more work to do.

    • Colonel Potter: You know, son, this swag lamp of yours is great! It brilliantly illuminates every word on this page. Klinger: And what words are those, sir? Colonel Potter: Surprisingly enough, they're the same words, all down the page: Sherman T. Potter, Sherman T. Potter, ad infinito. Now why would I sign my John Hancock 47 times? Klinger: Ah, see, that's the thing, sir. You were sleepwalking one night, and started signing your name. I figured I shouldn't wake you. Colonel Potter: And it's probably good that you didn't. But Klinger: Klinger: Yes? Colonel Potter: You put too much swoop on the T!

    • (Sidney finished talking to a war hero who tried to commit suicide after finding out he was being sent home) Hawkeye: Sidney, why did you remove his restraints? Sidney: I want to show him I trust him. Hawkeye: But should we take the risk? He's being held together by three-o silk and wishful thinking. If he tries to kill himself again, he's half way there. Sidney: He's out of danger. Hawkeye: What are you talking about?! He's twitching like a nervous wreck! Sidney: Come with me. (Sidney leads Hawkeye out of Post Op) Sidney: Its a case of severe guilt. In his ten years in the service, this is the first time he's fought an Asian enemy. He's been looking through a gun sight at people who could be members of his own family. Hawkeye: No wonder he felt guilty. That would be like my declaring war on Crabapple Cove. Sidney: Right, only in his case, its worse. He has to kill Chinese to be a good American, and than he has to kill himself to be a good Chinese. Hawkeye: A man without two countries. Freud would have flipped over this one. Sidney: All I did was give him a substitue symptom: I told him under hypnosis that when he feels the guilt, instead of punishing himself with suicide, he sould twitch his hand. He's not even aware he's doing it. Hawkeye: (satisified) Better that than take a second try at killing yourself. Sidney: Second try? Remember all those dangerous missions? He's been trying to kill himself since he got to Korea.

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    Trivia (1)

    • In redecorating his quarters, Klinger uses a gaudy, bizarre little statue-clock. The statue is identical to (and probably the very same prop as) the statue Archie Bunker brought to his family as an example of "true art" in Episode 4 of Season 4 of All In The Family ("Archie and the Kiss").

    Allusions (2)

    • Hawkeye describes home as "where the buffalo roam." This is a line from the old western song, "Home On The Range."

    • Hawkeye describes Sergeant Yee as "a man without two countries." A Man Without A Country is a novel by Edward Everett Hale. There have been several movie versions of it.

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