M*A*S*H

Mr. and Mrs. Who?

Season 8, Ep 9, Aired 11/12/79
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  • Episode Description
  • Charles returns to the 4077th after a trip to Tokyo with an uncharacteristic hangover and the uneasy feeling of a romantic entanglement. Meanwhile, the hospital struggles to find a cure for an outbreak of deadly hemorrhagic fever.

  • Cast & Crew
  • Ronny Graham

  • Burt Metcalfe

  • Claudette Evans

    Donna Marie Parker

  • James Keane

    Shaw

  • Alan Alda

    Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce

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  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (7)

    • (Col. Potter is briefing the medical staff on Korean hemorrhagic fever) Col .Potter: About the only thing they (I Corp) do know for sure is that 10 to 20% of the people who get it are gonna die. Surgeon General's office calls that figure "significant." My choice would be "appalling." And they've sent us a change in the prescribed treatment of patients in phase three. Hawkeye: Good timing. We've got Shaw in there warming up for phase three right now. Margaret: Just to refresh everybody's memories, Colonel, if I may, phase three is characterized by abnormally high urinary output, delirium, sometimes coma... Col. Potter: Thank you, Major. Margaret: .... and severe loss of appetite... Col. Potter: Thank you again, Major. BJ: Colonel, what do they want us to do for Shaw? Col. Potter: Well, as soon as his kidneys get back to work, the latest word is no intravenous salt solution. Hawkeye: (dumbfounded) NO I.V. SALINE?! What are we supposed to give them, hot chocolate? BJ: Colonel, these kids are gonna be putting out huge amounts of fluids. They're gonna be losing sodium by the pound. Col. Potter: I know that, Hunnicutt, along with potassium chloride and everything but their socks. Are you getting any of this, Winchester? Charles: (suffering from a hangover) Hanging on every sock, sir. Margaret: Nonetheless, the directive is very specific. The procedure of using an I.V. solution of five percent salt is discontinued. Col. Potter: Has to be. These kids can't handle it. In many cases, fluids just fill up the lungs and the boys literally drown internally. Hawkeye: (sarcastic and upset) Now all we need is a cure for the cure. Col. Potter: According to HQ, it's no saline. Let the disease run its course. Hawkeye: So what do we do? Just stand around like this, like dummies and do nothing? Charles: Surely, Colonel, there is something we can do. We are physicians, not spectators. BJ: Colonel, does that say no saline at all? Col. Potter: That's right-- "at all." BJ: I'd put that under the heading of overcompensation. Hawkeye: Well, you know the army, Beej. A ton of prevention for an ounce of cure. Col. Potter: Call it what you want. I think they mean it, Pierce. "Failure to follow the procedure in this directive will be treated as a court-martial offense and can result in automatic loss of rank and pay, and dishonorable discharge." Comprende? Hawkeye: Ohhhhh. BJ: Army's going soft. They left out the rack and thumbscrews.

    • Charles: I brought you no presents; I'd sooner pet a bubonic rat.

    • Klinger: Major Winchester. Major Winchester! I had to wake you, sir, this is really important. Charles: Klinger, unless my pants are on fire, you are a dead man. Klinger: Major, you're in big trouble. Charles: Oh? What sort of big trouble? Klinger: You'd better take this lying down, sir. There was a call for you from Seoul. A lady. Said she'd be here in two hours. Charles: Ohah. She have a name? Klinger: She certainly did. Mrs. Chuck Winchester the Third. Charles: Oh...uuhp.

    • Hawkeye: Look, Chuck. We can handle Shaw. Why don't you go meet the missus?

    • "Mrs. Winchester": Well, you did invite me, you know. Charles: I did? "Mrs. Winchester: It wasn't invited, really, it was more like: "Come live with me and be my love, and we shall all the pleasures prove". Charles: Good heavens, that is me.

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    Notes (1)

    • This is the second time the staff has had to deal with hemorrhagic fever. The first time they were plagued by it was in the episode "Soldier of the Month".

    Allusions (2)

    • At the staff meeting, when Col. Potter tells Klinger to "shuffle off to Buffalo" he is alluding to a song and dance number which appeared in the 1933 Warner Bros musical feature film 42nd Street.

    • "Mrs. Winchester": It wasn't invited, really, it was more like: "Come live with me and be my love, and we shall all the pleasures prove". Chuck was quoting the first two lines of "The Passionate Shepherd to His Love", written by Christopher Marlowe (1564-1593).

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