M*A*S*H

Of Moose and Men

Season 4, Ep 11, Aired 11/21/75
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  • Episode Description
  • Hawkeye tangles with a tough Army colonel, Colonel Spiker, B.J. helps Zale, who's received a "Dear John" letter, and Frank looks endlessly for Korean saboteurs.

  • Cast & Crew
  • Jay Folb

  • John Erman

  • Lois Foraker

    Nurse

  • Tim O'Connor

    Colonel Spiker

  • Johnny Haymer

    Zale

  • Fan Reviews (1)
  • This is Frank at his weasely best!

    By JonathanGalla1, Mar 28, 2011

  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (5)

    • (Frank digs up what he thinks is a bomb) BJ: What smells? Hawkeye: Frank's bomb. (grabs the pot) Frank: Don't! Hawkeye: (opens it) It's a kimchee pot, Frank. Kimchee. Pickled cabbage. They ferment it in the ground. There are millions of these buried all over Korea. BJ: I'd get title to this land, Major, before word gets out. Frank: Huh? Hawkeye: Don't you understand, man? You've struck cole slaw! (Embarrassed, Frank storms off) BJ: (applauding) Let's hear it for the major, folks! Hawkeye: Isn't he great? He'll be back, folks, just after he changes for the 11:00 bomb.

    • Frank: (speaking of Hawkeye) He always gets the cowboys and I'm stuck with the Indians. Potter: I'm one-fourth Cherokee. Frank: Oh. (raises his hand) How.

    • PA Announcer: Captain Hunnicutt, please report to the hospital. BJ: Major Burns probably taped himself to a patient again.

    • BJ (to Zale): Sergeant, you can't drink this early in the morning. I know, I keep trying.

    • Colonel Spiker: That officer...Pierce! An oddball. Must make an example of him. Colonel Potter: He already is, a fine example of an oddball officer. The best! Colonel Spiker: Has no respect for the uniform. Colonel Potter: Well, he's never in it anyway. Colonel Spiker: No respect for authority...no respect for the war. Colonel Potter: Whoa, Colonel, whoa. Colonel Spiker: I demand disciplinary action against him. If you don't take it, I will. Colonel Potter: You? You're only a bunch of tubes running in and out. You have to go to the latrine by remote control. You're a sick man. Colonel Spiker: Aahh... Colonel Potter: You'd be napping in a mattress cover over at the morgue if it wasn't for Pierce working on you. Colonel Spiker: Hmm? (infuriated) He operated? Not you? Colonel Potter: Lucky for you, yes! Colonel Spiker: But the last thing I said... Colonel Potter: (reprimanding tone) Would've been the last thing you ever said. If Pierce wasn't your surgeon, you'd be a bag of cold cuts now. Jumpin' jodhpurs, man! I'm Regular Army, too - hash marks down to the ground! I started in the cavalry. Learned to look at life from the top of a horse. Well, sometimes I feel I'm still on a horse, only now I'm looking down at a horse's... Colonel Spiker: I'm not criticizing your command, Colonel. It's that...that goof-off! Colonel Potter: That goof-off saved your can. You're alive and kicking, kicking like an Army mule because of that man's skill and dedication as a surgeon. Sufferin' saddle soap! You owe your life to that man!

    Notes (2)

    • Klinger does not appear in this episode.

    • This is the first of 4 appearances by Lois Foraker, as various Nurses. The last appearance is in episode 142.

    Allusions (1)

    • The episode title "Of Moose and Men" is a play on the Steinbeck novel Of Mice and Men.

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