Trivia, Quotes, Notes and Allusions
Pepperpot #1: Perhaps it comes from next door!
Pepperpot #2: Penguins don't come from next door! They come from the Antarctic!
Pepperpot #1: Burma!
Pepperpot #2: (after a pause) Why did you say 'Burma?'
Pepperpot #1: I panicked.
Fourth Bruce: Well gentlemen, I'll just remind you of the faculty rules. Rule one, no poofters. Rule two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way whatsoever, if there's anyone looking. Rule three, no poofters. Rule four, I don't want to catch anyone not drinking in their rooms after lights-out. Rule five, no poofters. Rule six, there is *no* rule six. Rule seven, no poofters.
Pepperpot #1: What's on the television, then? Pepperpot #2: Looks like a penguin. Pepperpot #1: No, no! Not what's on the set, I mean what program?
Bruces (standing): Australia! Australia! Australia! Australia! We love you! Amen!
How To Recognise Different Parts of the Body 1. The foot 2. The shoulder 3. The other foot 4. The bridge of the nose 5. The naughty bits 6. Just above the elbow 7. Two inches to the right of a very naughty bit indeed 8. The kneecap 9. The ear 10. The big toe 11. More naughty bits 12. The naughty bits of a lady 13. The naughty bits of a horse 14. The naughty bits of an ant 15. The naughty bits of Reginald Maudling 16. The hand 17. The top of the head 18. The feather (rare) 19. The nose 20. The armpit 21. The bottom two thirds of the nape of the neck 22. The nipple 23. The shin 24. Reginald Maudling's shin 25. The brain 26. Margaret Thatcher's brain 27. More naughty bits 28. The naughty bits of the Cabinet 29. The interior of a country house 30. NONE 31. The end
Host: With me now is Norman St. John Polevaulter, who for the last few years has been contradicting people. St. John Polevaulter, why do you contradict people? Polevaulter: I don't! Host: But you... you told me that you did. Polevaulter: I most certainly did not! Host: Oh. I see. I'll start again. Polevaulter: No you won't! Host: Ssh! I understand you don't contradict people. Polevaulter: Yes I do! Host: And when didn't you start contradicting them? Polevaulter: I did! In 1952! Host: 1952. Polevaulter: 1947! Host: 23 years ago. Polevaulter: No!