Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

Nickelodeon (ended 2007)
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  • show Description
  • Nickelodeon's Ned's Defied School Survival Guide chronicles the wacky adventures of Ned Bigby and his best pals Jennifer "Moze" Mosely and Simon "Cookie" Nelson-Cook at James K. Polk Middle School, as "every-kid" Ned shatters the fourth wall to share tips and tricks on navigating middle school or junior high hurdles.Ned's not super cool, and he has no superpowers. He is, however, witty, well-groomed, upbeat and self-aware. Moreover, with more than a little help from his two best friends, he's equipped to conquer middle school minefields. From crushing bullies to crushes, from off- the-wall, mean and cool teachers to pop quizzes, elections and detentions, Ned knows that nothing, including the seventh grade, is as bad as it seems, and friendship matters most.Characters:Ned Bigby is pretty much your average 13-year-old. He hangs with anyone who he thinks is funny and cool, like his two best buds Moze and Cookie. Ned's not exactly popular, but he does have a couple of things going for him: He's smart and observant. Ned knows what's up. Which is probably why Ned's basically an optimistic guy. He realizes that nothing, including 7th grade, can be as bad as it seems. Of course, a few survival tips definitely come in handy now and then.Moze is a smart, funny and totally insecure seventh grader. She's never really been "one of the girls," since she spends most of her time with her best friend and next door neighbor, Ned. But these days Moze is actually starting to get into some typically girlie stuff-like fashion and, you know, boys-and she's decided she's in need of some actual female friends. Makes sense, right? Try telling that to Ned...Cookie is Ned's OTHER best friend-probably because their last names have been alphabetically linked since second grade. Cookie comes from a super-rich family, but doesn't want anyone to know it. He actually has a limo drop him off at Ned's house so he can ride the bus with everyone else. Cookie's a major brain who's, well...kinda weird. He suffers from chronic bed-head, his fashion sense is non-existent and despite his super-smarts, he can be pretty clueless. Oh yeah, and he's wired to the web 24/7, which comes in handy since he seems to wind up in wacky situations 24/7 too. Did we mention he was kinda weird?Gordy School janitor who doesn't clean, Ned's adviser. Often heard saying "I'll let the night guy do it." He is simple minded, like his Weasel catching attempts, yet very complex, like in his book. A good hearted man, he just wants to help the kids, though it's the kids that usually help him. Mr. Chopsaw Wood shop teacher, Moze's adviser. In episodes he's in, he often helps her with problems (i.e. Clothes). Has a prosthetic hand... rumor is he's made of wood. Tough and gritty, then good spirited. Mr. Monroe Life Science teacher, full of life! He's another good person. Although a little girly, he wants to help the kids. Ned calls him "a great teacher" probably in part because he doesn't punish Ned like all the others. Mr. Wright History teacher. In episodes without Mr. Chopsaw, Moze often goes to him for advice. He's a good teacher, and always knows what to say. Kind of a usual nice TV show teacher, kind yet not always very observant. The good guy. Ms. Dirga Stern P.E. teacher. Tough, athletic, yet caring. She wishes to help the kids get through Middle School, but she's still a teacher and is not going to let the road be easy. Mr. Sweeney Evil Science teacher. He's very into science, and just wants everyone else to be as well. As we see in "Notebooks" he wants everyone to do well, but when given the chance will be evil. Has a good evil laugh. Lisa Zemo Allergy sufferer, adores Cookie. Billy "Bully" Loomer Polk school bully, adores Moze. Claire Sawyer Future lawyer, helpful in a pinch. Suzie Crabgrass Moze's rival, object of Ned's desire. Coconut Head Bad haircut, good heart. Seth Powers Hottie basketball player. Moze has, or at least had, a crush on him. He always wears the same green and yellow warm up suit and has a basketball spinning on his finger. Not very interested in school. Martin Qwerly Talkative smart kid. A friend of the gang's. Not very popular either. A little on the weird side. Has a twin sister seen in "Tutors." Student Council V.P. Crony Loomer's henchman. Doesn't talk to much, and follows Loomer around. He is very dependent, seen in "New Semester" when Loomer doesn't want him anymore, he runs off to find someone else to copy... twice. He is also the best cross stitcher at Polk Nurse Hunsucker Polk nurse. Though it may not seem it at the beginning of the show, she is caring and really goes out of her way to make sure the kids are okay. In the episode "Double Dating" she comes to the school at night to help Ned with an upset stomach. Ms. Enstile Beautiful Spanish teacher, scene in "Teachers." Due to not being able to focus on anything but her, Cookie transfers out of her The huge crew VERY into make-up, and the girl bullies of the school. They adore Ned beyond belief.moreless

  • Latest News
  • Episode Guide
  • S 4 : Ep 3

    Guide To: Field Trips, Permission Slips, Signs, And Weasels

    Aired 3/26/10

  • S 4 : Ep 0

    End of Series


  • S 3 : Ep 22

    Field Trips / Permission Slips / Signs / Weasels

    Aired 6/8/07

  • S 3 : Ep 21

    Tests / When You Like Someone Who is Going Out with Someone Else

    Aired 6/2/07

  • S 3 : Ep 19

    Health / Jealousy

    Aired 5/12/07

  • Cast & Crew
  • Devon Werkheiser

    Ned Bigby

  • Lindsey Shaw

    Jennifer Anne "Moze" Mosely

  • Daniel Curtis Lee

    Simon "Cookie" Nelson-Cook

  • Daran Norris


  • JM J. Bullock

    Mr. Monroe

  • Photos (2)
  • Top Contributor
  • SrRui

    User Score: 432


  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (328)

    • Timmy Toot-toot: You wanted to see me, Mr. Sweeney? Sweeney: No, I didn't want to see you! Timmy Toot-toot: Toot toot! (Timmy lets it out as he leaves and Ned quickly puts on a gas mask while Sweeney coughs like mad)

    • Ned: Forget the coat, we've had classes together since the first grade, and now we won't even have one elective together. What were you thinking? Moze: I was thinking that I'm a girl whose two best friends are guys and maybe it's time to add a best girlfriend to the list. Ned: You have girl friends. (Ned pulls a random girl) You like Moze right? Girl: Yeah, hey Jennifer. Ned: (Ned pushes the girl away) See! Moze: Yeah but I'm thinking of best girl friend. You know, someone to talk about clothes, secrets, boys. (crickets chirping) Braiding hair! Cookie: Oh, I can braid hair. Moze & Ned: Don't admit that.

    • Cookie: We gotta sign in Art to be with Moze. (starts to leave) Ned: Wait! (short pause as Moze walks off) Now!

    • Claire: Claire Sawyer, future lawyer. (Hands Ned her business card) Ned: Claire, I've known you since Pre-K.

    • Ned: If you decide to get a new do before school starts, get it at least two weeks before school. A last minute mom job could earn you a nickname you don't want. (Coconut Head walks up beside Ned) Loomer: Hey, look, it's Coconut Head!

    • Ned: Take that coat off you're gonna get heat stroke. Cookie: No way! Chicks dig the fluffy coat.

    • (Moze leaves the stall as Suzie Crabgrass enters) Moze: Crabgrass. Suzie: Mosley.

    • Crony: Whoa! Mummy!!! Protect the women! (He and Buzz grab sticks and whack the "mummy") Loomer: I'm Loomer! I'm a mummy! Moze: (to Ned and Cookie, about Loomer) Don't worry; he's well padded.

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    Notes (367)

    • Tips First Day: Avoid overstuffing backpack. Get a haircut 2 weeks early. Avoid mom crying when you leave home. September=Summer. Stay together with electives. AVOID FLUFFY COATS! No class is ever full... Get teacher approval. Be ready for surprises.(DON'T PANIC!) And don't wear the fluffy coat. Lockers: Sit closest to the door... you can avoid the crowd. Use the "Fast Walk." Keep your locker clean, there can be some unexpected guests. Use "The One Way", when you go to your locker and sometime in the past you've done your first two codes, so you only have to do one code.

    • Moze now has a locker door made of wood for the rest of the series.

    • Originally aired in October, 2003 with Stephan Markham as "Boogie." Recast with Daniel Lee as "Cookie."

    • Tips to Project Partners Get to know the three types of partners: Squirrely Kid, Reliable Friend, and Total Hottie. It's all about teamwork.

    • Martin Qwerly is introduced in this episode, with his name being based off of the title Ned gives him as the type of project partner he is: Smart and Squirelly.

    • TIPS: Bathrooms There is always a super clean bathroom in the nurse's office. Go to the bathroom during class. Be last to leave the locker room.

    • Tips: - In detention, the teacher is your best friend. Stay close to the teacher (to avoid the bullies) - Don't do the crime if you don't want to do time. - With the Questioning Teacher, don't be afraid to raise your hand. For the Boring-and-could-the-clock-tick-longer-teacher, do anything to stay awake. For the Distracting teacher, focus on your notebook or keep your eyes on your work. - Don't kiss up, just do the work. - As a last resort, transfer to another class.

    • Running Gags: Cookie's paper airplane wreaking havoc.

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    Trivia (285)

    • After Gordy rams into Mose's locker, slams it shut and destroys everything inside, Mose opens her locker easily without even entering her combination.

    • After Moze drills the drill through the wood shop teacher's hand, they show his hand with the drill through it. However, when he's being wheeled outside, the drill is no longer there.

    • The first episode that Cookie appears. In the pilot episode, Ned has another friend named Boogie, who later on in the show plays Albert Wormenheimer.

    • They introduce the principal as Principal Finback, but in later episodes, the school's principal is named Principal Pal (Introduced in Guide to: Reading/Principals).

    • When we see Loomer in this episode, he has a taller, different Crony, rather than the curly haired one who is in the rest of the series.

    • Chopsaw claims his right hand is the prosthetic one in the earlier part of the episode, but then when Moze drills his hand, it hurts him. If one pays attention, they will notice that the entire time the emergency workers are wheeling him out, he is trying to convince them that it is no big deal and doesn't hurt.

    • When Moze's locker is getting destroyed because Gordy ran into it, she opens her locker and stuff is falling out every where, but a person's hand can be seen pushing her stuff out of the locker.

    • Less than a minute after the woodshop teacher talks about his "prosthetic" hand, he bends his fingers.

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    Allusions (110)

    • James K. Polk: The middle school Ned, Cookie and Moze go to is named after the 11th US President James K. Polk.

    • Jenifer "Moze" Mosely is probably named for Henry Mosely, an English physicist born in the year 1887.

    • Ms. Dirga: "I don't care if your locker's on the Ice Planet of Hoth" Cookie can't get to gym on time because his locker is too far away. Dirga tells him that she doesn't care if his locker is on the Ice Planet of Hoth. Hoth is the snowy planet at the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back from the Star Wars series.

    • Ned: To pee, or not to pee; that is the question. It's an allusion to Shakespeare's famous line: "To be, or not to be; that is the question."

    • None: Visual only
      When the students are sitting in Moze's math class wearing protective panchos, you can barely see a student dressed as Gallagher in the back. Another student is dressed like Elvis.

    • School Dance Title: Dances with Wolves "Dances with Wolves" is also the name of a movie.

    • Ned: Dress up as yourself, not someone you see on T.V.
      You can see someone in a Spongebob costume, someone dressed as The Fonz from Happy Days (or Elvis?), and someone who looks like either Madonna or Gwen Stefani.

    • Ned: D'OH
      That's Homer Simpson's catch phrase on The Simpsons.

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  • Fan Reviews (353)
  • Ned's Declassified Among Nick's Best- A must for kids grades 4-6

    By iltarion, May 07, 2015

  • Awesome Show

    By OcEanReMix, Sep 11, 2014

  • Fun Show

    By KatieLikesCartoons, Aug 12, 2014

  • Educational and Entertaining.

    By Aaran24, Feb 12, 2014

  • Great show!

    By Oldnickolodeon34, Nov 25, 2013