Once Upon a Time Mad Libs: Let's Get Weird!

By Lily Sparks

Mar 04, 2014


It's less than a week until Once Upon a Time's mid-season re-premiere! Can you bear it? And yet let's be real: Even when it comes back, nothing will be the same!! I think? I mean, Emma won't recognize her long-lost parents or Regina, and she will no longer have that frantic underpinning of guilt over having abandoned Henry. I mean who is this Emma even going to be? Guys, will you miss the dynamics of Pre-Amnesiac Storybrooke Emma, the lady we knew before a madcap mix of dual-personality fairy tale characters wrought havoc on Maine and did a lot of funning around looking for crucial tchotchkes? 

If so: You're welcome in advance, because I’ve prepared a series of OUAT-themed Mad Libs that will allow you to create your very own madcap episode of a classic Season 2/2.5 storyline! They’re engineered to replicate the OUAT writers’ room process as closely as possible just for fun. Fill them out with a friend, and have a cleansing chuckle to distract yourself for a few blissful seconds from counting down obsessively until this Sunday's mid-season premiere!


Note: If you want to play on your own without "spoiling" the game, here's a list of just the blanks so that you can fill them out without looking at the stories.



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OUAT Mad Lib #1: At Mr. Gold's Store!

Rumplestiltskin's face looked troubled as Regina and Emma burst into his shop, accidentally knocking over a pile of [NOUN, PLURAL] that used to belong to [SOME DISNEY CHARACTER]. 

"[EXCLAMATION]!" said Emma. 

"I knew you two were [VERB ENDING IN -ING]," Mr. Gold said wearily, magicking everything back into place. "I should have cleared the door. I understand there's trouble at Storybrooke's [PLACE] with the [ADJECTIVE] Gnomes."

"Oh? You knew that? But far be it from you to close the Pawn Shop five minutes early and come help, [NOUN]-face," snapped Regina. 

"Please, Regina. What do we do, Gold?" interrupted Emma, [ADVERB]. "I'm really [ADJECTIVE]."

"There's no need for that, Emma," Rumplestiltskin said. "All you have to do is get the [EVERYDAY OBJECT] of the [ADJECTIVE] Swamp that used to belong to the [COLOR] Fairy."

"Why?" asked Emma.

"There's no time to explain. But this [SAME EVERYDAY OBJECT] is closely [VERB ENDING IN -ED] by the Blue Fairy."

"That [NOUN]," sighed a [ADJECTIVE] Regina.

"It is imperative that you get it from her. It is the only way to defeat these [ADJECTIVE] Gnomes.

"So wait, what exactly will happen if we get this object for you?" asked Emma.

"Less questioning, more running!" shouted Rumplestiltskin. "Go go go go go!!"



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OUAT Mad Lib #2: Snow and Prince Charming Have a Moment in Snow's Studio Apartment Where Three Generations of her Family Now Live

"I'm worried," Snow said [ADVERB].

"What else is new?" joked David, then became serious when his [ADJECTIVE] wife shot him a look. "What now? he [ADVERB] asked.

"Is this [ADJECTIVE] time to have a baby?" Snow asked. "We are moving between two dimensions possibly in the very near future.

"EVERY time is the right time to have a baby. Biological parents, and the substances and [ADJECTIVE] babies that come out of their [ADJECTIVE] bodies, are this nation's [SUPERLATIVE] miracle," said David, when there was a [ADJECTIVE] knock on the door.

"Hook?!" [VERB ENDING IN -ED] Snow, throwing open the door.

His eyeliner was weeping down his cheeks and he was out of breath. "Y'all hearties," he gasped, "we got to go help Emma!! And also that other lady and this town or whatever. We need to get a [EVERYDAY OBJECT] from the Blue Fairy!"

"[EXPLETIVE] that," laughed Snow, but David gave her a [ADJECTIVE] look.

"We will [VERB] you, Hook." David said. "But first would you like to change clothes? You have been wearing that [ADJECTIVE] ensemble, by my count, for [NUMBER BETWEEN 10 AND 100] years."

"[VERB] me [BODY PART], mates, I'd be much obliged! Can I trouble you for a red leather jacket and some jeggings!?! [VERB ENDING IN -ED] Hook.

"I think Emma may have a few [NOUN, PLURAL]." Snow agreed.



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OUAT Mad Lib #3: Granny's Diner!

Belle was about to bite into a [ADJECTIVE] burger for the [NUMBER BETWEEN 2 AND 40] time that day when Regina and Emma burst into the diner. 

"Where's Henry?!" cried Emma.

"Right here moms!" Henry said, [VERB ENDING IN -ING] next to Belle.

"Sorry, force of habit." said Emma, giving him a [NOUN].

Just then Hook, Snow, and David also [VERB ENDING IN -ED] into the tiny diner. 

"There's a bunch of [ADJECTIVE] gnomes [VERB ENDING IN -ING] all over town!" shrieked Snow. 

"We know," said Emma. "To [VERB] them, we need the Blue Fairy's [EVERYDAY OBJECT], but she won't give it to us unless we reunite her with her estranged mother, the [TYPE OF CHEESE] Fairy."

"Who unfortunately I once used as a [NOUN]." Regina sighed. 

Bell frowned. "Why get rid of the gnomes? They're hard-working, [ADJECTIVE] and very [ADJECTIVE]. I actually just hired all of them to help me [VERB] at the library."

Hook shook Belle [ADVERB], causing her burger to fall with a juicy [ONOMATOPOEIA]. 

"So help me God woman, if we don't put a ticking clock on this show then the whole thing falls apart!"

"Believe it," Henry said.

"Hook, why are you wearing my jacket and [ADJECTIVE] jeggings?" asked Emma. 

"That's kind of [ADJECTIVE]."

"Because I [VERB] you," Hook mumbled shyly, batting his [BODY PART, PLURAL].

"Is that why you wear my [ITEM OF CLOTHING]?" Regina asked.



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OUAT Mad Lib #4: The Backroom of Mr. Gold's Shop, Where He Keeps a Spinning Wheel and a Cot Because His Life Is Out of Control

"So you are the Blue Fairy's mother?" Rumplestiltskin asked a small woman sitting on a [SMALL OBJECT]. Snow, David, Hook, Belle, Emma, Regina, and Henry [ADVERB] stood in tableau behind him.

"Yup," said [WOMAN'S NAME]. "Until I gave her away."

"Because you wanted her to have her best chance?" Snow said [ADVERB].

"No, I traded her for some [NOUN, PLURAL]. Pretty [ADJECTIVE] deal," [SAME WOMAN'S NAME] said. "Have you [VERB, PAST TENSE] her? What a [NOUN]!" 

Snow and David gasped.

"Look, [WINGED CREATURE]-brain, we have to get rid of these [ADJECTIVE] gnomes, so you have to make nice with the Blue Fairy," Regina said, crossing her [BODY PART, PLURAL]. "Get it?"

"Once again, why are we even [VERB ENDING IN -ING] the gnomes?! I like them!" said Belle, bits of hamburger shooting out of [BODY PART].

"Why am I not surprised, considering you date a [ADJECTIVE] monster?" said Snow.

Rumplestiltskin frowned. "Belle, seriously, why are you here [VERB ENDING IN -ING]? You know I need you to help me by never being in the same room as me ever."

Snow held up her phone. "It's a [NOUN] from Granny. She says there's more gnomes loose in the streets!"

"Oh for [NOUN, POSSESSIVE] sake." Regina [VERB ENDING IN -ED] her fingers, [COLOR] smoke went everywhere, and suddenly everything was solved. "Now that that's been [VERB ENDING IN -ED]," Regina said to Emma, "maybe we can sit down as a family and have a meaningful, open discussion about our situation and— "

"Boooooooooring!" said Hook. 

~the End


How'd it go? Share your results in the comments!


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  • ShahhidaMiah Mar 08, 2014

    "So you are the Blue Fairy's mother?" Rumplestiltskin asked a small woman sitting on a [thumbtack]. Snow, David, Hook, Belle, Emma, Regina, and Henry [ADVERB] stood in tableau behind him.
    "Yup," said [Africa]. "Until I gave her away."
    "Because you wanted her to have her best chance?" Snow said [sorrowfully].
    "No, I traded her for some [condoms]. Pretty [logical] deal," [Africa] said. "Have you [sold] her? What a [bitch]!"
    Snow and David gasped.
    "Look, [Pegasus]-brain, we have to get rid of these [sparkiling] gnomes, so you have to make nice with the Blue Fairy," Regina said, crossing her [boobs]. "Get it?"
    "Once again, why are we even [playing] the gnomes?! I like them!" said Belle, bits of hamburger shooting out of [nose].
    "Why am I not surprised, considering you date a [sparkling] monster?" said Snow.
    Rumplestiltskin frowned. "Belle, seriously, why are you here [talking]? You know I need you to help me by never being in the same room as me ever."
    Snow held up her phone. "It's a [text] from Granny. She says there's more gnomes loose in the streets!"
    "Oh for [heavens] sake." Regina [shouted] her fingers, [Purple] smoke went everywhere, and suddenly everything was solved. "Now that that's been [helped]," Regina said to Emma, "maybe we can sit down as a family and have a meaningful, open discussion about our situation and— "
    "Boooooooooring!" said Hook.

    ~the End

  • once-junkie Mar 08, 2014

    OUAT Mad Lib #2: Snow and Prince Charming Have a Moment in Snow's Studio Apartment Where Three Generations of her Family Now Live

    "I'm worried," Snow said [worriedly].

    "What else is new?" joked David, then became serious when his [worried] wife shot him a look. "What now? he [worriedly] asked.

    "Is this the [best] time to have a baby?" Snow asked. "We are moving between two dimensions possibly in the very near future.

    "EVERY time is the right time to have a baby. Biological parents, and the substances and [ugly] babies that come out of their [fat] bodies, are this nation's [only] miracle," said David, when there was a [cocky] knock on the door.

    "Hook?!" [squealed] Snow, throwing open the door.

    His eyeliner was weeping down his cheeks and he was out of breath. "Y'all hearties," he gasped, "we got to go help Emma!! And also that other lady and this town or whatever. We need to get a [screwdriver] from the Blue Fairy!"

    "[Screw] that," laughed Snow, but David gave her a [distraught] look.

    "We will [kill] you, Hook." David said. "But first would you like to change clothes? You have been wearing that [queer] ensemble, by my count, for [99] years."

    "[Pull] me [hook], mates, I'd be much obliged! Can I trouble you for a red leather jacket and some jeggings!?! [bargained] Hook.

    "I think Emma may have a few [spares]." Snow agreed.

  • once-junkie Mar 08, 2014

    Rumplestiltskin's face looked troubled as Regina and Emma burst into his shop, accidentally knocking over a pile of [selfmade Home Videos] that used to belong to [Regina].

    "[Oh Well]!" said Emma.

    "I knew you two were [dating]," Mr. Gold said wearily, magicking everything back into place. "I should have cleared the door. I understand there's trouble at Storybrooke's [Casino] with the [greedy] Gnomes."

    "Oh? You knew that? But far be it from you to close the Pawn Shop five minutes early and come help, [imp]-face," snapped Regina.

    "Please, Regina. What do we do, Gold?" interrupted Emma, [despairingly]. "I'm really [broke]."

    "There's no need for that, Emma," Rumplestiltskin said. "All you have to do is get the [Two Headed Quarter] of the [impassable] Swamp that used to belong to the [Silver] Fairy."

    "Why?" asked Emma.

    "There's no time to explain. But this [Two Headed Quarter] is closely [guarded] by the Blue Fairy."

    "That [amateur]," sighed a [concerned] Regina.

    "It is imperative that you get it from her. It is the only way to defeat these [sickening] Gnomes.

    "So wait, what exactly will happen if we get this object for you?" asked Emma.

    "Less questioning, more running!" shouted Rumplestiltskin. "Go go go go go!!"

  • JLC63 Mar 05, 2014

    This show needs to start up again because I miss Lily's reviews of it.

  • MichelleHood24 Mar 05, 2014

    I can't wait for its return and seeing hook again

  • Khersyn Mar 05, 2014

    Belle was about to bite into a flirty burger for the 28.2nd time that day when Regina and Emma burst into the diner.
    "Where's Henry?!" cried Emma.
    "Right here moms!" Henry said, humping (oh god nooo) next to Belle.
    "Sorry, force of habit." said Emma, giving him a disinfectant.
    Just then Hook, Snow, and David also punched into the tiny diner.
    "There's a bunch of annoying gnomes prancing all over town!" shrieked Snow.
    "We know," said Emma. "To ungulate them, we need the Blue Fairy's doorstop, but she won't give it to us unless we reunite her with her estranged mother, the Gouda Fairy."
    "Who unfortunately I once used as a dentist." Regina sighed.
    Bell frowned. "Why get rid of the gnomes? They're hard-working, loud and very rough. I actually just hired all of them to help me wiggle at the library."
    Hook shook Belle gracefully, causing her burger to fall with a juicy buzz.
    "So help me God woman, if we don't put a ticking clock on this show then the whole thing falls apart!"
    "Believe it," Henry said.
    "Hook, why are you wearing my jacket and sprightly jeggings?" asked Emma.
    "That's kind of fluttering."
    "Because I hurl you," Hook mumbled shyly, batting his buttcheeks.
    "Is that why you wear my jock strap?" Regina asked.

  • JLC63 Mar 05, 2014

    I wonder what a "flirty burger" tastes like?

  • claireschortmann Mar 05, 2014

    I can't be the only one who thinks that Charming looks like Macklemore in the new previews and promo pictures.

  • winterbmine Mar 05, 2014

    "I'm worried," Snow said [carefully].

    "What else is new?" joked David, then became serious when his [strapping] wife shot him a look. "What now? he [tearfully] asked.
    "Is this [small] time to have a baby?" Snow asked. "We are moving between two dimensions possibly in the very near future.
    "EVERY time is the right time to have a baby. Biological parents, and the substances and [smooth] babies that come out of their [coarse] bodies, are this nation's [most energetic] miracle," said David, when there was a [rigid] knock on the door.
    "Hook?!" [marked] Snow, throwing open the door.
    His eyeliner was weeping down his cheeks and he was out of breath. "Y'all hearties," he gasped, "we got to go help Emma!! And also that other lady and this town or whatever. We need to get a [mug] from the Blue Fairy!"
    "[Fuck] that," laughed Snow, but David gave her a [huge] look.
    "We will [run] you, Hook." David said. "But first would you like to change clothes? You have been wearing that [grainy] ensemble, by my count, for [72] years."
    "[Climb] me [leg], mates, I'd be much obliged! Can I trouble you for a red leather jacket and some jeggings!?! [filled] Hook.
    "I think Emma may have a few [rocks]." Snow agreed.

    I am very happy with this to be honest

  • LilyRoRoSparks Mar 05, 2014

    Climb me leg, mates!

  • TVcom_editorial Mar 05, 2014

    New catchphrase alert!!

  • Graphaks Mar 05, 2014

    (wondering how much SwanQueen I can interject into this)
    We MISS YOU Lily!

  • LilyRoRoSparks Mar 05, 2014

    Looking forward to OUAT madness resuming!

  • JLC63 Mar 05, 2014

    I did mine totally blind. I clicked the link that just listed the parts of speech. I filled them in and then matched them up with the actual scene. Hilarity ensues! Some of them make sense. A lot of them don't. Here's how it reads (words added in are in CAPS in brackets):

    OUAT Mad Lib #1: At Mr. Gold's Store!
    Rumplestiltskin's face looked troubled as Regina and Emma burst into his shop, accidentally knocking over a pile of [SHEETS] that used to belong to [BAMBI].
    "[CRAP]!" said Emma.
    "I knew you two were [SWIMMING]," Mr. Gold said wearily, magicking everything back into place. "I should have cleared the door. I understand there's trouble at Storybrooke's [GARAGE] with the [DELIGHTFUL] Gnomes."
    "Oh? You knew that? But far be it from you to close the Pawn Shop five minutes early and come help, [DIARY]-face," snapped Regina.
    "Please, Regina. What do we do, Gold?" interrupted Emma, [SADLY]. "I'm really [HANDSOME]."
    "There's no need for that, Emma," Rumplestiltskin said. "All you have to do is get the [COFFEE CUP] of the [FRIGHTENING] Swamp that used to belong to the [MAGENTA] Fairy."
    "Why?" asked Emma.
    "There's no time to explain. But this [COFFEE CUP] is closely [CALLED] by the Blue Fairy."
    "That [MITTEN]," sighed a [SWEATY] Regina.
    "It is imperative that you get it from her. It is the only way to defeat these [FRAGRANT] Gnomes.
    "So wait, what exactly will happen if we get this object for you?" asked Emma.
    "Less questioning, more running!" shouted Rumplestiltskin. "Go go go go go!!"

    OUAT Mad Lib #2: Snow and Prince Charming Have Moment in Snow's Studio Apartment Where Three Generations of her Family Now Live
    "I'm worried," Snow said [HAPPILY].
    "What else is new?" joked David, then became serious when his [ADDICTIVE] wife shot him a look. "What now? he [HELPFULLY] asked.
    "Is this [GRIM] time to have a baby?" Snow asked. "We are moving between two dimensions possibly in the very near future.
    "EVERY time is the right time to have a baby. Biological parents, and the substances and [HUGE] babies that come out of their [HURTFUL] bodies, are this nation's [BRAVEST] miracle," said David, when there was a [SEXY] knock on the door.
    "Hook?!" [SCREAMED] Snow, throwing open the door.
    His eyeliner was weeping down his cheeks and he was out of breath. "Y'all hearties," he gasped, "we got to go help Emma!! And also that other lady and this town or whatever. We need to get a [TOOTH BRUSH] from the Blue Fairy!"
    "[DAMN] that," laughed Snow, but David gave her a [HOT] look.
    "We will [PUNCH] you, Hook." David said. "But first would you like to change clothes? You have been wearing that [SMART] ensemble, by my count, for [56] years."
    "[HOWL] me [THIGH], mates, I'd be much obliged! Can I trouble you for a red leather jacket and some jeggings!?! [SLAPPED] Hook.
    "I think Emma may have a few [TREES]." Snow agreed.

    OUAT Mad Lib #3: Granny's Diner!
    Belle was about to bite into a [DELICIOUS] burger for the [38] time that day when Regina and Emma burst into the diner.
    "Where's Henry?!" cried Emma.
    "Right here moms!" Henry said, [JUMPING] next to Belle.
    "Sorry, force of habit." said Emma, giving him a [PISTOL].
    Just then Hook, Snow, and David also [FIRED] into the tiny diner.
    "There's a bunch of [CREEPY] gnomes [SPITTING] all over town!" shrieked Snow.
    "We know," said Emma. "To [WATCH] them, we need the Blue Fairy's [HAIR BRUSH], but she won't give it to us unless we reunite her with her estranged mother, the [CHEDDAR] Fairy."
    "Who unfortunately I once used as a [BROTHER]." Regina sighed.
    Bell frowned. "Why get rid of the gnomes? They're hard-working, [PAINFUL] and very [STICKY]. I actually just hired all of them to help me [SLEEP] at the library."
    Hook shook Belle [SNIDELY], causing her burger to fall with a juicy [CUCKOO].
    "So help me God woman, if we don't put a ticking clock on this show then the whole thing falls apart!"
    "Believe it," Henry said.
    "Hook, why are you wearing my jacket and [HAIRY] jeggings?" asked Emma.
    "That's kind of [ANCIENT]."
    "Because I [WIGGLE] you," Hook mumbled shyly, batting his [EARS].
    "Is that why you wear my[SHORTS]?" Regina asked.

    OUAT Mad Lib #4: The Backroom of Mr. Gold's Shop, Where He Keeps a Spinning Wheel and a Cot Because His Life Is Out of Control
    "So you are the Blue Fairy's mother?" Rumplestiltskin asked a small woman sitting on a [TIC-TAC]. Snow, David, Hook, Belle, Emma, Regina, and Henry [GLUMLY] stood in tableau behind him.
    "Yup," said [ELIZABETH]. "Until I gave her away."
    "Because you wanted her to have her best chance?" Snow said [GENTLY].
    "No, I traded her for some [SHOES]. Pretty [CRAFTY] deal," [ELIZABETH] said. "Have you [CALLED] her? What a [DONUT]!"
    Snow and David gasped.
    "Look, [FRUIT-FLY]-brain, we have to get rid of these [ANNOYING] gnomes, so you have to make nice with the Blue Fairy," Regina said, crossing her [FINGERS]. "Get it?"
    "Once again, why are we even [DANCING] the gnomes?! I like them!" said Belle, bits of hamburger shooting out of [ELBOW].
    "Why am I not surprised, considering you date a [ITCHY] monster?" said Snow.
    Rumplestiltskin frowned. "Belle, seriously, why are you here [THROWING]? You know I need you to help me by never being in the same room as me ever."
    Snow held up her phone. "It's a [CHAIR] from Granny. She says there's more gnomes loose in the streets!"
    "Oh for [DRAGON’S] sake." Regina [BANGED] her fingers, [YELLOW] smoke went everywhere, and suddenly everything was solved. "Now that that's been [SLAPPED]," Regina said to Emma, "maybe we can sit down as a family and have a meaningful, open discussion about our situation and— "
    "Boooooooooring!" said Hook.
    ~the End


  • WoundedWolfgirl Mar 05, 2014

    "Howl me thighs" had me pounding my knee. Literally.

  • JLC63 Mar 05, 2014

    I was like that with the "creepy gnomes spitting all over town". :)

  • LilyRoRoSparks Mar 05, 2014

    thank you for posting these!!!! I love that it worked out and it's even funnier when it doesn't.

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