The Bible: Fact or Fiction?

Trivia, Quotes, Notes and Allusions

Quotes (23)

  • Penn: Take some time and put the Bible on your Summer reading list. Try and stick with it cover to cover. Not because it teaches history, we've shown you it doesn't. Read it because you'll see for yourself what the Bible is all about. It sure isn't great literature. If it were published as fiction, no reviewer would give it a passing grade. There are some vivid scenes and some quotable phrases, but there's no plot, no structure, there's a tremendous amount of filler, and the characters are painfully one-dimensional. Whatever you do, don't read the Bible for a moral code: it advocates prejudice, cruelty, superstition, and murder. Read it because we need more atheists, and nothing will get you there faster than reading the damn Bible.

  • Penn: If you's your God...and your God is infallible, you can't throw out some of the rules just because you don't like them.

  • Shermer: Here is a big problem using the Bible as a guide for moral behavior and moral thought: which parts are you going to use and which parts aren't you going to use? Look, in the one passage that Conservatives always cite in the Bible about "a man should not lay with another man" and therefore, homosexuality is a sin. Yeah, well, go to the next chapter where it says that we should stone to death disobedient children. So, look, what we do is we pick and choose the passages we want, and that's not consistent and it's not fair.

  • Ten Commandments Protester: You ain't taking my Ten Commandments, you ain't taking my Bible, and you ain't touching my faith! It's part of the Constitution in this country! Penn: We IS taking you Commandments out of our courthouse, we ISN'T taking you Bible or you faith. The Constitution guarantees us freedom from you Bible and you faith while promising you can keep you Bible and you faith!

  • Penn: [on the Commandment monument debate] Polls showed that 4 out of 5 Americans wanted the Commandments to stay right where they were. And "Candle in the Wind" by Sir Elton John is the bestselling song of all time. Popular sure doesn't mean right. I bet more people can sing some Elton John than know all Ten Commandments huh?

  • Penn: Hearing that so many other Messiahs were walking around is weird, huh? It was a plague of Messiahs! Yeah, "Monty Python's Life of Brian" was more historically accurate than Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ".

  • Shermer: Jesus was not the only messiah at the time. There were lots of messiahs. In fact, there was another fellow named Apollonius of Tyana, who, in the first century, was claimed, by his followers, that he healed the sick, he raised the dead, he was able to walk through walls and buildings, that he was, in fact, persecuted for his religious beliefs, he was brought to trial by the local Roman courts, he was crucified, and after he died, he, we are told, ascended to Heaven, and he came back where his followers saw him. This is not the Jesus story, this is Apollonius of Tyana. Who the heck is that?

  • Penn: We know a guy named Jesus! He plays World Championship Poker.

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Trivia (2)

  • This episode of Bullsh**! is unique in that it contains primarily only two guest experts and a slew of man-on-the-street type comments.

  • The label on the bottle Teller pours his "wine" into from the opening water to wine gag reads "Bullsh**! Estate Vineyards, 2004 Las Vegas Rio All-Suite Hotel and Casino, merde du taureau BRUN (French for bullsh**, brown).