My Quarantine

Season 4, Ep 16, Aired 2/8/05
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  • Episode Description
  • J.D. tries to impress Kylie by paying a hobo in the hospital to fake a heart attack, when everything becomes boring due to a quarantine that he caused. Turk learns, that Carla dated Dr. Cox and gets mad at her for not telling him. The Janitor makes a bet with Dr. Kelso, who is starving, that will make him pay $700, unless the Janitor is able to get a "face cake", in order to satisfy him, from Laverne. Also, Danni Sullivan returns to annoy everyone, causing a constant fight between Ted and Doug.moreless

  • Cast & Crew
  • Chrystee Pharris


  • Tara Reid

    Danni Sullivan

  • Michael Hobert


  • Tad Quill

  • Michael Spiller (I)

  • Fan Reviews (7)
  • Memorable.

    By Canogaparkcindy, Jun 13, 2010

  • One of my favorite episodes.

    By KentAllard911, May 31, 2008

  • JD tries to impress his new girlfriend.

    By hsimpson44, Jul 16, 2007

  • Will JD ever learn? Probably not!

    By lozza1525, Jun 19, 2007

  • J.D. tries to impress his new girlfriend Kylie, J.D. pays a hobo to fake a heart attack. After J.D. taled to his patient J.D. thinks its SARS and causes a lockdown. The Janitor makes a bet with Dr.Kelso, and turk gest made because of Carla's date.

    By PsychoPerson, Feb 11, 2007

  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (45)

    • Kylie: Let's go. J.D.: Kylie, wait. I paid Steve fifty bucks and an I.O.U. for another hundred and twenty to fake a heart attack. I just-I really wanted tonight to go well. Kylie: Is there anything else? Danni: Adios, assface. J.D.: I had sex with her. A lot. Kylie: Why are you telling me this? J.D.: If I don't come clean now, whether it's a few weeks or months or years from now, I know it's gonna come back to haunt me and ruin us, and I don't want that. Kylie: I'm not looking for a project. J.D.: Yeah... I understand. It's... Kylie: So get it together. Now let's go get some coffee.

    • J.D.: Now, keep an eye on the bum's vitals. I gave him enough sedative to put down a rhino.

    • (Elliot notices the unconscious bum) Elliot: Wow, he is really out. J.D.: A mild sedative fell into his juice box.

    • Carla: Give him a break! What if you found out Jordan had a history with somebody here? Dr. Cox: Oh, fair enough. Uh, hey, everyone! In the brief eighteen months that Jordan and I weren't together, how many of you had your way with her? (Just about everyone raises their hands, except J.D., who tries to look innocent.) Dr. Cox: Bear in mind, I'm gonna need absolute honesty here or I will brain you. (When Kylie's attention is turned, J.D. quickly sticks his hand up.) Dr. Cox: Anyway, whoever taught Jordan that reverse cowgirl position... it's long overdue, but thank you. Dr. Mickhead: You're welcome. Carla: You're a freak.

    • Dr. Cox: Hey, baby. Carla: Keep it together. Dr. Cox: Do you remember that quarantine we had seven years ago? It was just you and me, all alone late at night here in the I.C.U.? Turk: That's it. Carla: Turk! You really had to do that? Dr. Cox: Come on. If he wasn't such a jealous baby, it wouldn't be such a big deal.

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    Trivia (7)

    • When the Janitor is flicking cotton balls, he doubles the bet after each failure from his original $5. When the situation is revisited, he owes Dr Kelso $700. However, for this debt to be possible, the number would have to be part of the sequence '5*(2^(n-1))', and it is not.

    • With the cotton ball flicking bets, the original bet between Dr. Kelso and the Janitor was $5. After the first miss, the Janitor first goes double or nothing. Later in the episode, we see a ton of cotton balls lying all over the nurse's station. Assuming the Janitor kept betting $5 with Dr. Kelso, he missed 140 consecutive shots ($700 / $5 a shot) before he put another cotton ball into the jar.

    • Dr. Kelso only has one testicle.

    • In the scene where Lonnie says Carla's hair looks nice and Turk head-buts him, you can see that Turk's head doesn't really get that close to him.

    • When we see J.D trying on all kinds of costumes for his date with Kylie, one of them is the purple jumpsuit (which Eddie Murphy wore in "Raw") J.D buys this suit (and a matching one for Turk) in episode 3, season 4 "My New Game".

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    Allusions (1)

    • Raiders of the Lost Ark: When the ward is under lockdown, the music playing is similar to the Raiders theme. Additionally, as Jordan dives underneath the closing door, she grabs her hat just before it shuts, like Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones) does while escaping a tomb in the Peruvian jungle, which occurs at the beginning of the movie.

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