The Alternate Side

Season 3, Ep 11, Aired 12/4/91
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  • Episode Description
  • Jerry's car is stolen and the criminal picks up his car phone. George decides to take a fill-in job moving cars from one side of the street to the other; this turns into a disaster for local traffic flow. Kramer gets a chance to do a line in a Woody Allen film; "these pretzels are making me thirsty." Elaine gets tired of her 66-year-old boyfriend and when she is about to break up with him, he has a stroke.moreless

  • Cast & Crew
  • Michael Richards (I)

    Cosmo Kramer

  • Jerry Seinfeld


  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus

    Elaine Marie Benes (not in pilot)

  • Jason Alexander

    George Louis Costanza

  • Larry David

  • Fan Reviews (4)
  • A favorite of mine and typical Seinfeld -- taglines you know you repeat to this day. Not the most stand out episode, but memorable nonetheless.

    By SiobhanInPhilly, Jul 29, 2005

  • Seinfeld

    By CTUBauer24, Nov 21, 2007

  • Hilarious!

    By Canogaparkcindy, Nov 04, 2008

  • Brilliant.

    By thefanof, Jan 27, 2010

  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (22)

    • Jerry: (Closing monologue) I think the best part of a relationship is when you're sick. And the best part of being sick is when you're in a relationship. And if I was to get married, you know all those vows; for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, all I need is the sickness. That, to me, is the most important one. Do you take this man in sickness? That's the only time I need somebody there. Rest of the time, go out, have a ball, do whatever you want, but if I get the sniffles, you better be there.

    • Jerry: (Opening monologue) Seems to me the way they design the car alarm is so that the car will behave as if it was a nervous hysterical person. Anyone goes near it, anyone disturbs it, it's aaaaaahhhhhhh! Lights flashing on and off, acting all crazy. Not everybody wants to draw that much attention to themselves, wouldn't it be nice if you could have a car alarm that was a little more subtle? You know, somebody tries to break in, it goes, Ahem. Ahem. Excuse me? I would like a car alarm like that.

    • Agent: Sir, if you had read the contract-- Jerry: Did you see the size of that document? It was like the Declaration of Independence! Who's gonna read that?

    • Elaine: I'll be ostracized from the community. Jerry: What community? There's a community? Elaine: Of course there's a community. Jerry: All these years I'm living in a community, I had no idea.

    • Elaine: (singing to Owen) Yankee beans, Yankee beans, I like my Yankee beans.

    Show More Quotes

    Notes (1)

    • Larry David supplies the voice of the man who stole Jerry's car.

    Trivia (4)

    • After George comes out of the bathroom looking for a bucket of water, he comes out and looks out the window. In the very next shot, he is standing behind the counter drinking a soda, when he should be parking cars.

    • Owen is not wearing a sweater, when Elaine shows up at Jerry's apartment with him. He is wearing the same suit all through the time we see him in Jerry's apartament.

    • When Elaine shows up at Jerry's apartment with Owen, Owen is wearing a sweater, then a moment later he's lying on the couch wearing a suit, completer with shirt and tie.

    • When Kramer is first introduced into this episode, he leaves Jerry's apartment door open. The door is closed a few moments later.

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