The Alternate Side

Trivia, Quotes, Notes and Allusions

Quotes (22)

  • Jerry: (Closing monologue) I think the best part of a relationship is when you're sick. And the best part of being sick is when you're in a relationship. And if I was to get married, you know all those vows; for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, all I need is the sickness. That, to me, is the most important one. Do you take this man in sickness? That's the only time I need somebody there. Rest of the time, go out, have a ball, do whatever you want, but if I get the sniffles, you better be there.

  • Jerry: (Opening monologue) Seems to me the way they design the car alarm is so that the car will behave as if it was a nervous hysterical person. Anyone goes near it, anyone disturbs it, it's aaaaaahhhhhhh! Lights flashing on and off, acting all crazy. Not everybody wants to draw that much attention to themselves, wouldn't it be nice if you could have a car alarm that was a little more subtle? You know, somebody tries to break in, it goes, Ahem. Ahem. Excuse me? I would like a car alarm like that.

  • Agent: Sir, if you had read the contract-- Jerry: Did you see the size of that document? It was like the Declaration of Independence! Who's gonna read that?

  • Elaine: I'll be ostracized from the community. Jerry: What community? There's a community? Elaine: Of course there's a community. Jerry: All these years I'm living in a community, I had no idea.

  • Elaine: (singing to Owen) Yankee beans, Yankee beans, I like my Yankee beans.

  • Sid: (to George) Moving cars from one side of the street to the other don't take no more sense than puttin' on a pair of pants. My question to you is: who's puttin' your pants on?

  • Elaine: Could you go out with a 66-year-old woman? Jerry: Well, I'll tell ya, she would have to be really vibrant. So vibrant, she'd be spinning.

  • George: (taking the lunch check) Here, let me get that. I smashed your car, cost you $2,000... Jerry: Yeah, a cup of coffee should cover that.

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Notes (1)

  • Larry David supplies the voice of the man who stole Jerry's car.

Trivia (4)

  • After George comes out of the bathroom looking for a bucket of water, he comes out and looks out the window. In the very next shot, he is standing behind the counter drinking a soda, when he should be parking cars.

  • Owen is not wearing a sweater, when Elaine shows up at Jerry's apartment with him. He is wearing the same suit all through the time we see him in Jerry's apartament.

  • When Elaine shows up at Jerry's apartment with Owen, Owen is wearing a sweater, then a moment later he's lying on the couch wearing a suit, completer with shirt and tie.

  • When Kramer is first introduced into this episode, he leaves Jerry's apartment door open. The door is closed a few moments later.