Seinfeld

The Apartment

Season 2, Ep 5, Aired 4/4/91
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  • Episode Description
  • Jerry helps Elaine get the apartment above his, but later regrets doing so. George's experiment of wearing a wedding band to attract women goes horribly awry.

  • Cast & Crew
  • Michael Richards (I)

    Cosmo Kramer

  • Jerry Seinfeld

    Himself

  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus

    Elaine Marie Benes (not in pilot)

  • Jason Alexander

    George Louis Costanza

  • Peter Mehlman

  • Fan Reviews (3)
  • George Costanza's character-defining episode

    By fewt, Mar 07, 2013

  • An average episode.

    By cactusjack39, Feb 22, 2009

  • "For i am Costanza lord of the idiots"

    By bigbandtheory, Feb 20, 2010

  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (21)

    • Jerry: You have no idea what an idiot is. Elaine just gave me a chance to get out and I didn't take it. This (pointing to himself) is an idiot. George: Is that right? I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex, and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So please, a little respect, for I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots. Roxanne: (Yelling out the window) You're all winners! George: But suddenly, a new contender has emerged.

    • Jerry: Well, I painted my apartment again. I've been living in this apartment for years and years, and every time I paint it, it kinda gets me down. I look around, and I think, well, it's a little bit smaller now. You know, I realize it's just the thickness of the paint, but I'm aware of it. It just coming in and coming in. Every time I paint it, it's closer and closer. I don't even know where the wall outlets are anymore. I just look for like a lump with two slots in it. Kinda looks like a pig is trying to push his way through from the other side. That's where I plug in. My idea of the perfect living room would be the bridge on the Starship Enterprise. You know what I mean? Big chair, nice screen, remote control… That's why Star Trek really was the ultimate male fantasy. Just hurtling through space in your living room, watching TV. That's why all the aliens were always dropping in, because Kirk was the only one that had the big screen. They came over Friday nights, Klingon boxing, gotta be there.

    • Jerry: People don't turn down money! It's what separates us from the animals.

    • Harold: (to Manny) I told you I don't like these sponges -- they're too small! I want a big sponge! You can't pick up anything with these! There's no absorption!

    • Jerry: You know, I used to think that the universe is a random, chaotic, sequence of meaningless events, but I see now that there is reason and purpose to all things. George: What happened to you? Jerry: Religion, my friend, that's what happened to me.

    Show More Quotes

    Notes (1)

    • This episode marks Elaine's first "Get out" shove. It became something she did regularly throughout the run of the series.

    Trivia (2)

    • Actor Michael Richards' name appears twice in the opening credits.

    • This episode also features the only reference to Kramer's father.

    Allusions (1)

    • Jerry: What do you do when a neighbor is making, like, a lot of noise at three o'clock in the morning? I mean, can you knock on someone's door and tell them to keep it down? You're really altering your whole self-image. I mean what am I, Fred Mertz now? Fred Mertz is a character from the sitcom I Love Lucy that aired from 1951 to 1957. The role of Mertz was played by William Frawley.

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