The Beard

Season 6, Ep 16, Aired 2/9/95
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  • Episode Description
  • Elaine tries to convert a gay man to heterosexuality. George, who's now wearing his toupee, discovers that the woman Kramer has set him up with, is bald. Kramer gives a homeless man some Chinese food and begins standing in police lineups for $50 a lineup. Jerry begins to date a cop, but she wants him to take a lie detector test, she thinks he is lying about NOT watching Melrose Place.moreless

  • Cast & Crew
  • Michael Richards (I)

    Cosmo Kramer

  • Jerry Seinfeld


  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus

    Elaine Marie Benes (not in pilot)

  • Jason Alexander

    George Louis Costanza

  • Carol Leifer

  • Fan Reviews (2)
  • Funniest episode of the series

    By moondoggy02116, Dec 25, 2010

  • Probably one of the funniest episodes...

    By OnePerCentClub, Oct 10, 2007

  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (16)

    • George: I got rejected by a bald woman.

    • Elaine: Being a woman, I only really have access to the equipment, what, 30-45 minutes a week, and that's on a good week. How can I be expected to have the same expertise as people who own this equipment and have access to it 24 hours a day their entire lives?

    • Elaine: I have hit the jackpot. The perfect man -- nothing but sex and shopping.

    • Jerry: When someone is lying, is it true that their pants are actually on fire?

    • Jerry: (to Elaine) And we discover yet another talent… posing as a girlfriend for homosexuals.

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    Notes (1)

    • The homeless man that Kramer gave the Chinese food to is played by Jon Gries, who went on to play Uncle Rico in the hugely popular "Napoleon Dynamite."

    Trivia (8)

    • The policewoman who correctly suspects that Jerry watches Melrose Place, despite Jerry's denials, is played by actress Katherine LaNasa who, coincidentally, has been dating Grant Show from Melrose Place since 2012 (~17 years after this Seinfield episode first aired).

    • Jerry's girlfriend being named Officer Tierny is a nod at Lawrence Tierny who played Elaine's Dad in Season 2's "The Jacket".

    • In the first scene in Jerry's kitchen, George takes a unopened box of Chinese food from the fridge as he asks Elaine "Aren't you a little bit worried that you might have missed the boat?" When the camera angle switches to show Elaine's reaction, the box in George's hand is suddenly open.

    • Also as you can recall, Jerry talks about the only other person being able to lie about having cancer is George, and George also says that he's living about 20 when Gary says he's been living a lie.

    • I think this is a major one. In this episode, they're all making a big deal of how George has "the gift", how he can lie so well, to the point that Jerry asks him for advice on how to beat the lie detector. But in the previous episode (excluding Highlights of 100, of course), namely "The Scofflaw", George couldn't fool Jerry about knowing about Gary not having cancer... "the gift" comes and goes, doesn't it???

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    Allusions (1)

    • George: Let me tell you something. No one walks into a beauty parlor and says 'Give me the Larry Fine.' Larry Fine was a comedian/actor who was a member of the Three Stooges comedy act. Fine was bald, with curly, bushy hair on the sides of his head.

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