Slings and Arrows

Trivia, Quotes, Notes and Allusions

Quotes (128)

  • Mr. Marshall : Do you know how I cast now? The tallest one's Romeo, the one with the biggest tits is Juliet. Who cares?
    Kate : You are drunk.
    Mr. Marshall : Not quite enough.

  • (Geoffrey writes the landlord a check in order to prevent eviction from the "Theatre Sans Argent".) Landlord: This check is good? Geoffrey Tennant: Of course, this check is good. Why would I give you a bad check? Landlord: If check is bad, I send for police, thank you! Geoffrey Tennant: I have never bounced a check in my life! Landlord: If check is bad, I send police! Assistant: Check's bad, isn't it? Geoffrey Tennant: Of course.

  • (Geoffrey and his assistant at the "Theatre Sans Argent" are discussing their financial situation.) Assistant: They'll disconnect our phones again. Geoffrey Tennant: Good. All they do is ring anyway, you pick them up, it's people who want your money. Assistant: I can't run a theater without a telephone, Geoffrey. Geoffrey Tennant: There were no phones in ancient Greece and their theaters did very well. Assistant: You're not taking this very seriously, Geoffrey, we're hanging by a thread. Geoffrey Tennant: And the very best things happen just before the thread snaps.

  • Geoffrey Tennant: They've asked me to be the artistic director. Ellen Fanshaw: What? Geoffrey Tennant: Well, interim artistic director while they search for a real one, but you know how long that process could take, weeks, months, years, ... Ellen Fanshaw: You can't come back, you're insane! Geoffrey Tennant: Now, apparently, that doesn't matter in the theater.

  • Anna Conroy: Geoffrey. Geoffrey Tennant: Anna. Anna Conroy: O.k., what do you know about the thing? Geoffrey Tennant: What thing? Anna Conroy: It's so disgusting, I can't even say the words. Geoffrey Tennant: The skull thing? Anna Conroy: The skull thing, yes. Geoffrey Tennant: I didn't think he was serious. Anna Conroy: I've made some calls. People hung up on me. They said I was sick. Somebody threatened to call the police. I can't handle this, Geoffrey. Geoffrey Tennant: No, I, I, I, I'll take care of it. Anna Conroy: Oh god, thank you. Wait, you're not thinking of doing this yourself, are you? Geoffrey Tennant: No, although I can't deny that the thought hadn't occurred to me once or twice. Anna Conroy: Oh, it's good to have you back. Geoffrey Tennant: Thank you, but I'm not, I'm not back. I'm just, I'm visiting.

  • (Geoffrey at the funeral home, talking with the morticians.) Reg Mortimer: How can we help you? Geoffrey Tennant: Well, I wonder if you could do me the favour of removing Oliver's head from his body and setting the head aside prior to the cremation, saving the head. O.k., let me explain that I'm not crazy. Sal Mortimer: With all due respect, we have heard otherwise. Geoffrey Tennant: That was a temporary condition and I assure you, I don't wanna do anything weird with the head. As a matter of fact, it was Oliver himself who requested that his flesh be removed and that his skull be used in all future productions of Hamlet. So, you see, it's not weird and in fact it is notarized. Reg Mortimer: We've never removed a head. Sal Mortimer: We've sewn them back on. Geoffrey Tennant: Well, I imagine it's the same thing but in reverse. Reg Mortimer: And there are legal implications. Geoffrey Tennant: You see, I would have thought that the ethical implications of not respecting a man's last wish would outweigh the legal implications. Furthermore, I believe that the state has no place in the nation's bedrooms and by extension, their graves. Reg Mortimer: We can remove the head, but we can't do the rendering, we're not equipped. Geoffrey Tennant: I see. And where would you suppose a fellow would go for such a service? Reg Mortimer: A taxidermist. Sal Mortimer: I would begin with the less reputable firms. Geoffrey Tennant: Thank you. Let's do this thing.

  • (Geoffrey and Oliver at the theater.) Geoffrey Tennant: I don't know why I'm here. I hate this fucking place! Oliver Wells: And I don't blame you. Drove you mad, didn't it? And it killed me.

  • Maria: (very drunk) Actors! You're aaaaaaaaaaaall the same! You're all a bunch of selfish, filthy, whiny children!

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Notes (5)

  • Paul Gross played the title role in "Hamlet" at the Stratford Festival in 2000.

  • The New Burbage Shakespearean Festival is a thinly veiled satire of the Stratford Festival, held every year in Statford, Ontario.

  • Stars Paul Gross and Martha Burns are husband and wife.

  • The character of Jack Crew, a Hollywood action star hired to play Hamlet, is partly a satire of Keanu Reeves who played that role in 1995 at the Manitoba Theatre Center in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Kate meeting Crew on a bus may be a reference to the movie "Speed", Reeves' biggest role at that time.

  • This is not the first time Paul Gross has played a character that talks to dead people. In "Due South", he was constantly talking to the ghost of his dead father, just as he did later playing the title role of Hamlet at the Stratford Festival.

Trivia (1)

  • Richard Smith-Jones is suggesting that William Shatner could play the title role in "King Lear". Shatner really has performed in several plays by William Shakespeare.

Allusions (1)

  • Oliver: Look at you! You couldn't look more like a fool if you were wearing the cap & bells! Geoffrey: What's your point, Topper? "Topper" was a situation comedy that ran on all three legacy broadcast networks (CBS, ABC, NBC) at one time during 1953-1956. Cosmo Topper, played by future Man from U.N.C.L.E. boss Leo G. Carroll, interacted with the ghosts of a young couple killed in a skiing accident, whose home he subsequently occupied.