The Hard Times of RJ Berger

Lily Pad

Season 1, Ep 11, Aired 8/16/10
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  • Episode Description
  • RJ finds himself in a tricky situation when both Lily and Jenny ask him to prom. The problem becomes moot however when Lily is involved in a serious accident.

  • Cast & Crew
  • Jareb Dauplaise

    Miles Jenner

  • Ciena Rae

    Robin Pretnar

  • Adam Cagley

    Kevin Stern

  • Kara Taitz

    Lily Miran

  • Amber Lancaster

    Jenny Swanson

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  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (23)

    • (RJ's closing monologue, right after Lily gets hit by the bus.)
      RJ Berger: My name is RJ Berger, and OH... MY... GOD...

    • Lily: Hey there handsome. How's your last full day of virginity feel?
      RJ Berger: Uh, you know, about the same...
      Lily: The same?! I've been through three pairs of panties TODAY... (RJ stares at her completely blankly.) I'm just kidding, God...
      RJ Berger: Umm, Lily, there's something I really wanna talk to you about...
      Lily: Wait, me first... Okay, so, I know I come on a little strong sometimes but it's just... I don't know what it is about you RJ Berger... I mean, every since we were little kids, even before I knew how smart you were, and how funny, and sweet you could be... Even before I knew about your... (Glances downward.) gift... For some reason, I always had this feeling that you were... The one... That... we would lose our virginity to each other... So I just need to say it one more time... (Kisses him on the cheek.) You've made me the happiest girl in the world... (Turns and starts to walk away.)
      RJ Berger: Lily, wait... There's something I need to talk to you about...
      Lily: What is it my love? (The bus slams into her at full speed.)

    • RJ Berger: (While trying to make up an excuse about why he and Miles were fighting.) Like I said coach, we were practicing wrestling moves.
      Coach Sinclair: Mhmm... You expect me to believe that crap? First off, I've never seen one of you two cream puffs break a sweat. And second, that wasn't wrestling. That was two lady dogs fighting to sniff each other's ass. Now I wanna know the truth dammit, and I wanna know it now!
      RJ Berger: Well, I sort of agreed to go with two people to the Winter Formal...
      Coach Sinclair: (Pointing at Miles.) That better not be one of them.
      RJ Berger: What? No! No coach, I asked my friend Lily, umm, Lily Miran, she's umm...
      Coach Sinclair: Yeah yeah yeah, the one that looks like one of them Klingons from Star Wars...
      RJ Berger and Miles: (In unison.) Star Trek...
      Coach Sinclair: I don't give a damn!
      RJ Berger: So, I asked her... But then Jenny Swanson asked me to go with her. (Coach raises his eyes in surprise.) I mean, as a friend... Jenny's been my dream girl since like... 3rd grade. (Again in unison with Miles.) And I have to go with her... But if I do, it'll crush Lily... AndMax will crush me if I go with Jenny. See what I mean...?
      Coach Sinclair: Yeah I see... Yeah I see loud and clear... (Long pause.) Now you listen here Berger, and you listen good... Max is gonna kick your ass no matter what you do... And the little Star Wars girl is gonna keep them ankles in the air no matter who you go with... But missin' out on takin' Jenny Swanson to the Formal...? That's some stuff you gonna take to your grave son...
      Miles: Finally, a voice of reason.
      RJ Berger: But isn't that the wrong thing to do?
      Coach Sinclair: To losers, maybe... But you ask yourself Berger... When you look back on your sorry ass life 30 years from now, do you wanna be the loser who did the right thing?Or do you wanna be the stud who did Jenny Swanson?

    • RJ Berger: (Talking with Miles about the fact that they are taking the hottest girls in school to the dance, but still worried about the fact that he asked Lily first.) I don't know what to do about Lily...
      Miles: Oh, just do what I've always done... Avoid looking directly at her... (Shivers.)
      RJ Berger: Dude! I'm talking about the dance! I mean, agh, there's no way around it... I mean I, I have to take her instead of Jenny, I asked her first...
      Miles: (While doing their warm ups before gym.) Hold on, lemme finish stretching... Okay RJ, I'm doing this for your own good... (Full body tackles RJ to the ground.) If you don't take Jenny Swanson to the Winter Formal, you will take that mistake to your grave! You hear me?! Your shallow, empty grave!!! (Let's RJ up as the coach intervenes.)

    • Max Owens: (After seeing RJ andJenny talking in the hallway and hugging.) What were you talking to her about freak?!
      RJ Berger: Uh... Science stuff...
      Max Owens: If you EVER, go near her again with anything other than a BOOK in your hand, I'll stab you in your frickin' juggler vein. Got it?
      RJ Berger: It's jug-u-LAR... (Long pause while Max stares daggers into RJ's eyes.) Got it...
      Max Owens: Pshew!!!

    Show More Quotes

    Notes (5)

    • Audience - 1,143,000

    • Also Known As:

      Hard Times - USA (working title)
      Hard Times - Tempi duri per RJ Berger - Italy
      RJ Berger - Hard kor - Hungary
      Tiempos duros para RJ Berger- Spain

    • Music:

      Val Emmich - Next To Me
      The Waking Hours - Spark
      General Fiasco - We Are The Foolish
      Colorsound - Top Of The World
      Hot Streets - Complicated
      The Beatards - Don't Step On My Sneakers
      The Ruiners - Love/Hate (Eat Me Alive)
      Sink To See - Realize
      Val Emmich - Grown Up Man
      16 Frames - All In
      Wil Seabrook - Happily Ever
      A Silent Film - Aurora
      And Then There Were Two - Clash
      Venus Infers - Like Warm Coca-Cola

    • Distributers - MTV Networks US, MTV Hungary

    • Production Companies - MTV/Remote Productions

    Trivia (1)

    • The note that Lily leaves for RJ in his locker at time stamp 12:02 has a key attached inside a heart drawing and reads:

      You have the key to my heart (and my holes) "The Happiest girl in the world"

    Allusions (7)

    • Coach Sinclair: (Talking about Lily.) Yeah yeah yeah, the one that looks like one of them Klingons from Star Wars...
      RJ Berger and Miles: (In unison.) Star Trek...

      Star Wars is one of the world's most successful and beloved franchises, created by George Lucas as an epic space opera.

      Star Trek is another of the world's most successful and beloved franshises, and was created by Gene Roddenberry. Also set as an epic space adventure, one of the main alien races that appears often in the franchise are the Klingons. Klingons are known for being expert combatants and warriors, and are easily recognized because of the distinct forehead ridges and thick hair.

    • RJ Berger: You know, screw you Miles! At least I have a date. And you know, while I'm off becoming a man, you'll be at home, playing Good Day Sunshine on expert. Alone...

      Good Day Sunshine is a popular song done byThe Beatles, and from their 1966 album Revolver.

    • Miles: I still can't believe you invited mini-Chewbacca to the Winter Formal. (Makes the Chewbacca noise.) Rrrrrrrr!

      Chewbacca is a HUGELY popular character in the Star Wars franchise, created by George Lucas and played by actor Peter Mayhew.

    • RJ Berger: Yeah, you know, it's, it's like that scene in Madea Goes To Jail... When Madea's all; "Oooh girl, you needa get yourself a date to the dance." I was, that's sort of what I wanted to ask you...

      Madea Goes To Jail is one of the hit films in the widely successful Madea franchise, which is made by and stars Tyler Perry, who plays the hilariously sage matron Madea in full drag.

    • Miles: (About the school dance.) That's why we're gonna blow it off. We're going to order pizza, and play Beatles Rock Band until our fingers bleed!

      Beatles Rock Band refers to a wildly successful video game, also published by MTV, that centers around the English rock band, The Beatles. In the game, players simulate playing in a band using controllers shaped like musical instruments.

    Show More Allusions
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