Pilot

Trivia, Quotes, Notes and Allusions

Quotes (6)

  • Interviewer: Have you stayed in touch with your teammates? Gibbs: Well I touched Jodi all over the place... huh? Up top. Interviewer: Oh... uh... (high-fives Gibbs) yes... Gibbs: But seriously, no, I haven't. They're all a bunch of brainless assholes who deserve to have their genitals burned off with acid. Next question? Interviewer: Uh... w-where will your career path lead you now? What's next? Gibbs: Hmm, well, I've given it a lot of thought and I decided I need a change of pace so I figured I... I don't know, conquer the solar system, crush all who oppose me, and name myself "Super King Big Nuts." Interviewer: Oh, heh heh, yeah, but seriously... Gibbs: Yeah. Starting right about.... now. (Blasts interviewer's head off with a raygun)

  • Gibbs: Mooooooooooooooo! (gets the attention of Palmer, Jodi, and Sasha) Palmer: Gibbs?? Gibbs: Oh, how I've missed you, my precious leeches... the way one misses... (sniff, sniff) I don't know... an itchy nut-sack? Sasha: GIBBS, YOU (bleep) TRAITOR!! When we catch you, I'm going to (bleep) you and both your eye sockets with their own (bleep) (bleep)! I'm gonna make sure you're buried with your (bleep) hanging out of your eye socket, do you hear me?! Your mom's gonna say it!! Gibbs: Well, be sure to stab me in my ears too, Love, in case you release another album. Sasha: You (bleep)-sucking, mother-(bleep) pig--- (Palmer mutes Sasha's conversation)

  • Palmer: Why'd you do it, Gibbs? You were a hero, man.... well, like an assistant hero working for the main hero. The main hero being... Palmerrrr... Gibbs: Oh, Palmer-cakes... buddy... let's define "main hero." The guy who designed every strategy because that was me. Palmer: (Dodging monster's cannon shots) Crappity crappity crappity crappity crap-crap-crap! Gibbs: ...The guy who planned every battle because that was me. Palmer: (Still dodging monster's cannon shots) Ass-crackers!! Gibbs: And now I'm not around, pumpkin. How's that working out for you? Palmer: RINKY-DINKS!!

  • Jodi: (After training session) Questions, comments, concerns? Student A: I smell pee? Jodi: Done correctly, yes, your opponent may spontaneously urinate. Student B: I smell poop? Student C: That was me... Jodi: Oh, I gotta give blood before I volunteer at the soup kitchen! Good class, everyone! I'll see you on Wednesday!

  • Journalist: Sasha! Was there a connection between your poor album sales and the fact that it sucked?

  • Gibbs: Oh, and Palmer! Here's a gift just for you.... BOOM! shows finger

Allusions (1)

  • Opening Crawl The opening crawl at the beginning of the first episode is from Star Wars. In each of the six Star Wars movies, there's an opening crawl at the beginning.