True Blood "Fire in the Hole" Review: By Show of Hands, Who Hates Sookie?

By Lily Sparks

Jul 07, 2014

True Blood S07E03: "Fire in the Hole"

We are gathered today with heavy hearts, friends. We come together now to grieve, to mourn, and to support each other in the face of an unthinkable loss.

Alcide, man. Even if those abs had not been attached to one of the most talented actors and compelling characters on the show, the loss of those abs alone would've destroyed me. 

It’s almost unbearable to know that Alcide is gone from the series while Sookie is still there, shrieking. I know she’s the main character, blah blah blah. Enough. She burned through the last of my goodwill with her literal thirst for Bill on her way to complete the stupidest plan on Earth. Leave it to Sookie to get proactive by sitting out in the middle of the forest, confident that all the bad vampires would follow their noses to her cotton candy blood. From there I guess she thought she’d be taken to the basement of Fangtasia and... what? Fairy-blast everyone free? Y’all.

Sookie suffers from Main Girl-itis, a condition that has also afflicted Bella Swan and The Vampire Diaries' Elena and even, at times, Katniss. To drive conflict between the more exciting characters, our axis main character has to be depicted as both A) compelling enough to be rescued, and B) stupid or stubborn enough to continually put herself into perilous situations.

In real life, B would cancel out A pretty damn quick, but this is fiction, and the main character must drive the plot, and so she remains dumb as hell and no one even cares, and we just despise the shit out of her for refusing to learn from her mistakes. The plot demands that she never learn from her mistakes. I know this, and yet Sookie’s mistakes are just so aggressively dumb that they make me personally furious. Her sitting there mooning up at Bill’s pale ass 200 feet up a tree, fishing for compliments in the cadence of a 10-year-old and cutting herself with a dirty old stick, it honestly pushed me over the edge. 

You were on my last nerve, Sookie, and then you rolled it in Hep-V blood, threw it in the river, and shot it in the forehead. You cost us Alcide. His abs, his butt, his eyes. There’s nothing you can do to come back from that.

Still, "Fire in the Hole" itself was amazing, I mean, look what the writers did with Sarah Newlin! If there is one thing in this world more annoying than a born again right-wing nutjob, it’s a born again new age prestige yoga enthusiast. 

Sarah Newlin’s new life alongside her yogi was sort of hilarious and felt weirdly true to character, and I loved that the only thing in this world that could rouse Eric out of his nihilist funk was the prospect of putting her down.

The 80s France flashbacks were cute, sure, I don’t know who this Sylvie person was but bitch did NOT know how to eat a grape.

There was also the super naturalistic scene of Lafayette and Luke getting high and sort of crushing out on each other. These sorts of relatable, real-life scenes scattered in with the insanity are what has always made True Blood so special. The contrast of Lafayette and James chilling on the couch while, half a mile away, a vampire is tearing the stomach out of Mrs. Fortenberry—there’s a tension there that I will always find gripping. Just like in real life, disaster and cheerful obliviousness travel blindly side by side.

P.S., did you hear that the original actor who played James, Luke Grimes, reportedly left the series because he didn’t want to do romantic scenes with Lafayette? What an F-ing bonehead. Casting agents, please add him to your “DO NOT HIRE” lists immediately. 

And yes, Mrs. Fortenberry’s death was a disaster! I know we all hate her on principle but WHO is going to read me the pulse of Plus Size Walmart Fashion now? Mrs. Fortenberry has been cracking me up with her costuming and overall demeanor for seven seasons. I will miss her character acting greatly. 

Also, Sam announced to the town that he belonged in Bon Temps, took off his clothes, and then transformed into a hootie owl. Then later he and my darling Alcide had a bare chest off in the forest.

Alcide won. Like he always has and always... can't say will. No, can't say will. Because of someone's extremely stupid, farfetched plan to get kidnapped by starving Hep-V vamps. And not only Alcide die trying to save Sookie from her own half-baked battle strategy, but she had emotionally betrayed him just moments before, COMPLAINING that he loved her more than she loved him! And then she refused to turn him because she'd "Been down that road?" Girl, bye. You are the worst. You had heaven in both hands and you threw it over your shoulder.

Alcide, how can I tell you how out of Sookie's league you were? You were doomed to be taken out by her Main Girl-itis, when all along you were a main man. Goodnight, sweet hunky moonlit wolf monster.


... Can you ever recover from the way Alcide died? How will you get your weekly suffusion of Joe Manganiello now?

... Pam felt Tara’s true death: So Tara’s really gone, or is she coming back as a snake-charming parseltongue-speaking spectre?

... How long has Sookie been on your last nerve? Is there any way she could redeem herself?

... Does the idea of Sookie and Bill as endgame make you almost queasy with boredom?


  • Comments (307)
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  • Madelynn1984 Aug 25, 2014

    I've never cared for Alcide. He's just always been. . . blah. Good riddance. On the other hand, I'm bummed about Tara.

  • feliz82 Jul 14, 2014

    I liked Alcide but lets be real, he never did much for the show (not fault of the actor). I just don't think they ever knew where to go with the character. I suspect a lot of his fans only were becasue of his looks/body and if he was overweight and not that attractive he wouldn't have such a fan base.

    At first I was annoyed how they handled the death but on reflection it makes sense. The show deals with the subject of death a lot and death can come to anyone at anytime no matter how well you are liked and loved and not everyone gets a swan song.

  • LujanAguirre Jul 13, 2014

    -I always hated Alcide, I don't care about his abs, or his eyes or whatever. I don't have that thing most of women have that made them swoon for him, I just don't and I'm glad he's gone for good.
    - I think is kind od a shame Tara is dead, I started liking her more when she was turned, but I guess there was no point on having her around anymore. I don't know.
    -No, I think no matter what Sookie might do, I'll never get over how stupid she could have been.
    -Yes, Bill and Sookie are extremely boring, but after the S4 finale when she rejected Eric, I knew she and Bill were end game. So I'm kind of ok with it.
    - I'm just glad Eric is around. Don't ever leave again.

  • aktarian Jul 13, 2014

    How can you tell if a show is really bad? When you start rooting for bad guys, even though you know they'll lose in the end.

    That was me for past few season. Marnie? Hell yeah, burn those vamps for what they did and are doing to your people. Concentration camps? Helly yeah, but don't jsut put them there, start killing them as soon as you can.

    In this season I'm actually rooting for town vigilantes. Mostly because they are actually doing something when police and mayor are doing jack shit. And because they aren't kissing vampire asses as everybody else (except Andy) is doing. Of course they'll lose in the end but I'll keep rooting for them and hoping they'll manage to kill off as many annoying characters as possible along the way. Which at this point is pretty much every character.

  • Sam20 Jul 18, 2014

    The vigilantes are dead, so your hopes are crushed. It is kind of funny how you were rooting for the vigilantes, who are quite possibly the most annoying fucking characters this show has ever had. So you wanted to have the most annoying characters kill off less annoying characters. I don't think anybody has rooted for the bad guys these last few seasons because they suck even worse than a lot of the characters on the show. I wouldn't even keep watching if I hated every character.

  • aktarian Jul 22, 2014

    Between Tara, Pam and lately Sookie they are far from most annyoing. characters.

  • Sam20 Jul 22, 2014

    Pam has her haters (a few of them), but I don't think you could find one person that would agree she is more annoying than those late vigilantes, and they certainly wouldn't root for them over her. Sookie...maybe. Tara is dead, so that doesn't count.

    But if you hate Pam that much, there is still the yakuza you can cheer for.

  • Sam20 Jul 23, 2014

    If you hate all the vampires and other supes on this show, then yeah, why not.

  • aktarian Jul 22, 2014

    The thing with these vigilantes (and previous villains) is that they actually have a good point to act the way they do. But the way show develops their plot is that this point is always covered by the fact that they are idiots, bigots and whatnot.

    It would be interesting to show that there are people with grievances against vampires that are based on vampires being killers. But instead anybody who doesn't go around kissing their asses will always be a bigot, homophobe and generally a bad person.

    So while I know these groups will lose in the end (hey, vapires are heroes, remember?) I'll still root for them. And hope they take out couple of annoying characters along the way.

  • ark1317 Jul 13, 2014

    So a werewolf could be turned?

  • ohnoron Jul 13, 2014

    If an actor is uncomfortable with playing gay/bi characters or being around gay people they are a) rubbish at their job and b) In the wrong-ass profession. Seriously. Nelsan Ellis isn't gay, and is smashing it as Lafayette because he's a great actor.

    On the other topic, yes, Sookie is annoying as hell. It is unfortunate, as it is the writing not the actress, but seriously - why Alcide, why???! You were too good for her fairy-vamp tramp ways anyhow...

    Still love Lafayette most! Also pretty glad Tara is gawn... hope she stays dead, cos with this show you never know and they did kind of skip over it. Did th actress have another commitment, as it looked like maybe she couldn't be there to film it properly? Do love her crazy momma though, fabulous actress. And the rev actually.

    True Blood suffers from the fact they created secondary & minor characters who are so much more interesting than the leads. Bound to happen this many seasons in I suppose, but I do wish they could make Sookie less annoying.

  • ForeverUnknown Jul 12, 2014

    i was so beyond pissed off when Sookie said she'd "been down that road" like wTEVERLOVINGF SOOKIE ARE U AN IDIOT TARA HAD A GOOD VAMPIRE TIME TILL SHE GOT KILLED AND THAT WAS NOT BECAUSE OF THE VAMPIRE THING ANYWAY. but like could you imagien if he'd been turned? omg that would've been so awesome and new and exiting and I just idk. Fuck Sookie.

  • ElisabethMuld Jul 12, 2014

    The many comments by people saying Lily was hard on this actor is perfect proof that homophobia is going as strong as ever. Nobody can outright be "gays should die" anymore, but this backhanded understanding of being "uncomfortable" with gay material is pretty close to being the same thing cause its the same attitude just disguised better. Thanks for being you Lily!
    Of course its also sexism cause if Kristen had refused to play her part people in the comments here would have gone "COME ON WHY NOT!? ITS HOT! 2 GIRLS TOGETHER IS BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY". Blablabla

  • ElainePinto Jul 10, 2014

    So sorry to see Alcide been killed off, specially because of the eye candy factor. I think the writers are most definitely setting up a "Bill and Sookie get together finale", which will be boring as hell.

    Glad to see Eric back, though. I missed him.

  • rebirth01 Jul 10, 2014

    The deaths in this season were so badly done that I feel like I didn't care at all. I think Alcide's death was like the writers cry for the audience's sympathy. But Alcide's character REALLY doesn't have a role in the plot if you look closely. He's just there standing shirtless and running around naked--pretty much just an eye candy. Even his love story with Sookie is as shallow as Tara dying instantly. So his death doesn't really mean anything, unless you're just watching TB for his solid rock body then its really a bummer.

  • LOST-TWD-PP-GOT Jul 10, 2014

    I believe that his death, would have had more impact, if it had been in an early season. But the writers, are trying to go out with a bang, in this last season, by going all Game of Thrones/ The Walking Dead style. But the shock tactics aren't working.

  • super_friend21 Jul 14, 2014

    Although he was better as a character last year, Alcide should have died at the beginning of last season. He was awful in Season 5. Then again, that whole season was piss!

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