True Blood "Love Is to Die" Review: Slower'n Molasses

By Lily Sparks

Aug 18, 2014

True Blood S07E09: "Love Is to Die"


So I’m just going to be real here: This has been one of my favorite seasons of True Blood, and the writing has been on-point right up until this episode, but what the hell was "Love Is to Die”? I feel ashamed having promised y’all thrills and chills in the discussion post. There were no thrills. There were no chills. The only thing close to a rollick was Ginger’s brief ride on Eric’s lap, and I’m afraid the fun was all Ginger’s. 


In our second-to-last episode of True Blood ever, Sam packed up and left, and that was nice, but otherwise the hour was spent treading water and breaking my heart. Jessica falling in love with Hoyt all over again was sweet, but I wish the writers had indicated at some point prior to this that she missed him, because honestly it kind of came out of nowhere. Similarly, Bridget teaching Jason about intimacy was theoretically a great character-building moment, but all I could think during their little pillow talk scene was “Wait... who the hell are you again, lady?”



Don’t get me wrong, this actress seems lovely and she has certainly done her professional duty as an actress by apparently having not eaten a carb in the last five years, but Jason is a major character on this show, and for him to suddenly get up close and personal with an aggrandized extra... like, I’d rather his endgame were Arlene. Or Lafayette. ANYONE viewers have an emotional attachment to. There was a je ne sais quoi about Jason and Jessica as a couple, the kind of good girl/bad boy thing with a twist, and it was derailed in two episodes by Jessica deciding she’s done growing as a person. I guess three years is enough time to get all the mayhem out of your system when you're an immortal vampire?! I don't know. I think she'll still feel constrained by Hoyt. 

Also, Bill is full of bullshit. Billshit, at this point, I think we can call it.





So Bill's dying because he wants Sookie to get over him? Dude, you’re a millionaire vampire. If you really want to disappear from Sookie’s life, you can fake your death and wait her out; Sookie's is mortal, she’s going to be gone in another 50 years or so, and let’s be real, she’ll be hooked up with someone by the end of 48 hours if she thinks you’re a goner. Or if you really, truly want to die, Bill, why die of a slow, protracted, painful illness? Why not have a sip of Sara Newlin, get all better, really gauge how you feel about immortality, and if you're still convinced that you’re all dunzo with existence, then sit up and meet the sun? Bill’s angst just feels a little contrived, and all he did in "Love Is to Die" was pass a note to Sookie via Eric telling her she was the most over-attached girlfriend in history. I am so done with this high-school level billshit.




I am also furious at Pam. Did she misplace her bazooka? How did she mange to get trussed up by the Yakuza again?! Pam is a six-foot-tall ancient vampire. Why is she not a little more proactive about defending herself? Surely it took them at least five hours to put together that insanely elaborate three-rope staking device, so why didn’t she try to overpower them when they were taking a breather after a Home Depot run? 

And that's on top of the fact that Eric has been manipulated by Pam being endangered so many times this season that it’s gotten a little tedious. 



All in all, I feel a little cheated by this episode. There was just so much filler. Sure, some of it was fun—including Sarah Newlin getting highlights by force—but some of it was just a waste of airtime, like Andy going into the office to read Sam’s note while Sookie fretted about him not reading Sam’s note in public. The scene didn't yield any new information or character development, yet for some reason it took about three pages of dialogue. Meanwhile, so many promising story threads have been phased out, like where the hell are the Hep-V vampires who used to maraud through town, giving night scenes a thrilling edge? 

I’m still optimistic about next week's series finale, which I guess is going to be a Yakuza showdown at Sookie’s house, but if "Love Is to Die" did just want to slow down and resolve character relationships, surely there were better character pairings that could have been explored: Jason and Hoyt could have talked for 30 seconds, for example. Ah, well. At least it was new.


QUESTIONS:

... Are you satisfied with Bill’s explanation for why he's choosing to die, or does it seem contrived?

... What characters do you wish we’d spent more time with this week?

... Are you happy that Hoyt and Jessica are back together, or is it bumming you out?

... Where did this episode rank for you in the overall season?


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  • chittidasi Aug 25, 2014

    Awesome review!!

  • mtones Aug 25, 2014

    "Billshit"

    hahahahahaha!!!!! - priceless.

  • super_friend21 Aug 24, 2014

    Y'all complaining about this episode being slow yet I've been saying this the entire season. I don't know which is worse, Season 5 or Season 7

  • LOST-TWD-PP-GOT Aug 23, 2014

    ... I don't give a f***. Just die already Bill, or live. As i already said, i don't care.

    ... Pam, Jessica, Lafayette, Jason, Sam, and Andy are my favorites, so...

    ... I've never been much of a "shipper", so normally i don't care. But i liked Jessica and Hoyt, from the beginning. They were the only couple, i cared about at all. So it's fine by me, if they end up together.

    ... This episode, was trying to tie up, some lose ends. Hopefully next episode, will have more action, or at least excitement. I rated a 7, not great or even good, but it was alright enough, for it not being the finale.

  • Radeksgrl Aug 21, 2014

    This episode was so awful, I created a TV.com account just so I could comment. I actually felt embarrassed for all of the actors who participated in this episode. The writers have really done a disservice to the characters we have grown to love over the years. I've watched True Blood since the beginning and will certainly watch the last episode. But unless a miracle happens this Sunday, True Blood will be going out on a very low note.

  • Dec1964 Aug 21, 2014

    When Jessica asked Bill to release her (which he did), Jessica turns into Pam's arms.

    Pam - You Cry ln My Jacket and Your Paying For It Sweetheart.

  • gizma1982 Aug 20, 2014

    What a mess. So boring... Eric was always so importnt and in this season is like he is not an important character. We haven't seen Pam as she realy is. Jessica and Hots, fine, but too sudden. And just die Bill please.

  • c07111 Aug 20, 2014

    Glad to see Jessica and Hoyt may get a happy ending. And agree too much airtime for random dumped girlfriend chick, I'd rather Jason was talking with ghost Tara instead. Got a weird feeling Bill's not going to die like he wants too.

  • NightOwl_Nena Aug 20, 2014

    "I'm taking you back to blonde." - "Huh?!"
    "Yeah, 'whorehouse' they understand, of course..."

    I could handle any death on True Blood, BUT NOT PAM'S! I need her to stay alive (as alive as you are when you're a vampire ;) ) to get a spin off with Eric, Ginger and Sarah! Pam is the only character who never gave a fuck about Sookie for seven seasons now, and IMO that should be rewarded!! TB writers, stop making her a victim and start showing her vamp skills she had when we met her!

    Kinda nothing that Bill does satisfies me, so... I would understand his death wish if he would do it for himself, that he lived long enough, that he wants his peace and maybe see his dead wife and children again, wherever they are, but.... "I have to die so Sookie can move on"...?! Naah, not buying this billshit!

  • TracyTrouble Aug 20, 2014

    This season has been truly awful. Last season pulled me back in, kicking and screaming I might add, because I so didn't want to care about Eric again.....but at the start of this season there I was, like an eager little puppy about to get it's first snack treat, all ready and waiting for the final season to start as brilliantly as s6 ended.........instead that excitement has been sucked out of me (pun intended) and now I'm just sitting in front of my tv with a wooden stake in my angry hands sullenly waiting to kill the show myself.

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