Two and a Half Men

A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

Season 4, Ep 5, Aired 10/16/06
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  • Episode Description
  • Alan is overjoyed by the prospect of Judith remarrying, as he would no longer have to pay alimony. Alan gets Charlie to help him when it looks like the marriage maybe derailed due to Jake’s dislike of his mother’s fiancé.

  • Cast & Crew
  • Jon Cryer

    Alan Harper

  • Angus T. Jones

    Jake Harper

  • Marin Hinkle


  • Charlie Sheen

    Charlie Harper

  • Melanie Lynskey


  • Fan Reviews (3)
  • Alan sunk really low!

    By apytko, Mar 18, 2013

  • Hey, this one was actually pretty good

    By j19000, May 30, 2008

  • another very good episode

    By viktorplay, Oct 20, 2006

  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (13)

    • Alan: (to Jake) You know, I am a little surprised at you. I would think you would want your mom to be happy.
      Jake: Hey, she can be happy all she wants, I just don't need some jerk pretending he's my dad.
      Alan: Oh, why not?
      Jake: Because I already have a dad.
      Charlie: And he's already a jerk.

    • Charlie: (to Herb about Judith) How's the sex?
      Herb: That's a little personal, isn't it?
      Charlie: Hey, I didn't ask which way you point her. I just wanna make sure you two kids are compatible.
      Herb: Oh, well, there's no problem in that area.
      Charlie: See, Alan? It was you.
      Alan: (gives Charlie an insulted look but turns back at Herb chuckling) That's me. The original one-pump chump. Ha.
      Herb: So I hear. (Alan looks insulted again)

    • Alan: I need to start carrying my own weight, which is actually getting easier now that I'm wasting away.

    • Alan: Herb, you haven't touched your beer. Herb: Oh, well I'm not too much of a drinker. Charlie: So let's have a drinking game: Whenever Alan gives me a strange look, we all have a drink. (Alan stares at him) Charlie: Whoops, let's just start it!

    • (Alan and Charlie are taking drunk Herb to Judith's house) Charlie: So what we sould do, ring the bell and leave running? Alan: Charlie, he is not a flaming poop in a paper bag. Charlie: Hey, check out his cell phone. (Alan checks on Herb's pocket) Herb: Judith?! (Judith opens the door) Judith: Hey, who is there? (Charlie and Alan just drop Herb and leave running)

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    Notes (3)

    • The German episode title is "Ein guter Schläfer", meaning "A Good Sleeper". The French title is "Enterrement de vie de garçon", meaning (idiomatically) "Bachelor Party". The Italian title is "Forti perplessità", meaning "Considerable Doubts". The Spanish title is "Una mujer viva de fertilidad probada", an exact translation.

    • Though credited, Holland Taylor and Conchata Ferrell do not appear in this episode.

    • There is a similar episode to this in the second season ("Go Get Mommy's Bra") where Alan is happy with Judith being in a new relationship with Herb, so that he doesn't have to pay alimony.

    Trivia (3)

    • Dr. Melnick's first name is Herb. However, in "Go Get Mommy's Bra", it was Greg.

    • Alan says the title A Live Woman of Proven Fertility in this episode.

    • Charlie told Herb that he and Alan paid Jake to like him. However, in an earlier scene, only Alan is shown giving Jake money.

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