Upright Citizens Brigade

Eating

Season 3, Ep 5, Aired 2/21/00
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  • Episode Description
  • When a man eating Chinese food won't swap him for a plate of salad, Simmons gives up his firstborn son for a single grain of white rice, smothered in a half-dollop of moo-shu sauce. His son grows up to be the Glendale Fitness Authority, in charge of an "anti-fatties" organization. During a roundup of fat people, the Fitness Authority's birth parents are lured out with promises of "free chocolate" - but Simmons is rescued by the Fat Underground before he can be sent to the work-out camps.When the Fitness Authority learns Simmons is his birth father, he attempts to understand why his father abandoned him by eating a muffin from the Happy Bakery, shaped like a father giving up his baby.Also featured is Moleman's ex-girlfriend, who is heartbroken when Moleman won't come to the surface to meet her parents.moreless

  • Cast & Crew
  • Matt Besser

    Adair, Various

  • Amy Poehler

    Colby, Various

  • Ian Roberts

    Antoine, Various

  • Matt Walsh

    Trotter, Various

  • Juan J. Campanella

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  • Trivia & Quotes
  • Quotes (10)

    • Fitness Authority: Fat chance, fatty fatty fat.

    • Glendale Fitness welcomer: Rule number one: no fatties! This is a fitness community, and what makes it so special is that it's filled with normal sized humans!

    • Happy Bakery cashier: Here at Happy Bakery we don't eat happy things to make us happy. We eat things we want to get rid of to make us feel better.

    • Glendale Fitness Authority: Something smells like...meatball sub. Fat man: I was just burning some meatball sub incense.

    • Fat man: That's against my rights. Glendale Fitness welcomer: Let me check. Mm, no, it isn't!

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