Warehouse 13 "All the Time in the World" Review: The Warehouse 13 Lonely Hearts Club Band

By MaryAnn Sleasman

Jul 02, 2013

Warehouse 13 S04E19: "All the Time in the World"

Poor Nicky-poo. Him just wanted some lovins from those fine 1500s ladies. Unfortunately, his immortality set him up for half a century of heartbreak and probably a bucketload of commitment issues. In Warehouse 13's penultimate Season 4 episode, Nick was de-immortalized, along with his parents, by his dear uncle Paracelsus—who very quickly took over nefarious evil-doer duties from Charlotte and Nick. The move definitely came out of vengeance, rather than kindliness and maybe remorse about that whole 500 years of puberty thing. What a douchebag. 

Paracelsus doesn't have a great track record with not being a sack of ass. Way back in the day, when a drunken Sutton (HI JAMES MARSTERS! MISSED YOU!) drunkenly offered to be his immortality guinea pig, Paracelsus surprised drunk Sutton with a closet full of his drugged and restrained family—Charlotte and Nick. Gotta test the variables, after all. 

Thus began their 500-year hate-fest, starting with Sutton leading the Warehouse 9 agents to Paracelsus's underground lair and Paracelsus still being pissed about it when Nick un-bronzed him in Warehouse 13. After a nifty mind-meld brought Uncle P up to date on world affairs, Nick switched roles from immortal evil-doer wunderkind to boy-hostage while Claudia crumbled due to an unstable bronzing process and Jinks panicked because like just like with Claudia, literally all of Jinks' friends die all of the time. 

Like so many of the gadgets and goodies the Warehouse team have incorporated into their operations, the bronzer is also powered by an artifact. The artifact itself will bronze any hapless victim, but without the official Warehouse 13 bronzing machine to stabilize the process, that newly bronzed person will gradually deteriorate. Of course, Paracelsus snaked the artifact as he departed for Istanbul with his nephew/hostage, meaning there was no way to stop Claudia from shattering—unless they got the artifact back. 

Meanwhile, Myka hadn't started her cancer treatments yet and Pete was understandably grumpy about it and Mrs. Frederic had seemingly developed some sort of dementia because the heart of the warehouse was falling apart or being mutated or... or something. This deterioration was also connected to the slow computers and general weird feeling that the more attuned warehouse denizens, like Claudia, Mrs. F, and—surprise!—Abigail were feeling.

P.S. Abigail was revealed to be the warehouse's "Keeper"—that one person in every generation who knows the warehouse's inner-most secrets. How this differs from a Regent or a Caretaker, I'm not entirely sure, but apparently that was her entire reason for arriving at the warehouse all along. I'm not terribly perturbed by the big news about Abigail's true identity—her initial function as a non-psychic replacement for Leena was fine, but she also reeked of being, well, a replacement character with no reason for existing except to fill someone else's shoes. So in the sense that being the Keeper gives Abigail her own role, and one that's (theoretically) completely original and all her own, it's awesome. I just hope we get a more expanded idea of what a Keeper actually does, and that it's actually a distinctive and worthwhile thing to focus on, rather than yet another random blip in the ever-complicated Warehouse 13 mythology. I also hope that Abigail's shiny new warehouse-centric mission doesn't overshadow or negate everything she did as a mere muggle because frankly, I really enjoyed her as a plain old civilian wandering around the most magical and dangerous funhouse on TV.

Claudia was eventually de-bronzed when Myka retrived the stolen bronzing artifact because Warehouse 13 would have been cray to even consider wasting one of its most popular characters on the eve of the show's final season... which brings us to Myka. By the end of "All the Time in the World," Myka decided to go forward with the treatments she was actively avoiding out of fear or denial or sheer stubbornness or all three. Pete (understandably) nagged her for most of the episode to be proactive and get on her treatment and Myka (understandably) told him to screw off and let her control her own body. After watching Charlotte die almost immediately after becoming mortal again, Myka had a change of heart about avoiding treatment, realizing how fragile life really is and how even immortal ladies can bite it as soon as their eternal life cards are revoked—as opposed to living out a natural life complete with achy knees and Depends, like she and Sutton wanted. 

Myka emerged from Paracelsus's lab determined to beat her cancer the human way, but I still can't help but see a direct connection between Myka's life-threatening illness, the coveted Philosopher's Stone, and Paracelsus's ability to play God. The man was once the Caretaker of Warehouse 9—which is why Mrs. Frederic is having her issues—so he was maybe, at one time, a good guy. There is ample room for a Paracelsus redemption story heading into the season finale. I'd be okay with that (and I'm very okay with how much more exciting our recent episodes have been). How about you? 


– Abigail as the Keeper: yay or bleh?

– Paracelsus was officially bronzed because he was a "threat to the world?" Wasn't that kind of obvious?

– Aww. Mrs. Frederic was so delighted to amaze Artie with the restricted files. <3

– That stage-slap between Charlotte and Sutton clearly made zero contact and it made me giggle. 

– Kinda figured one of the immortal Suttons would bite it as soon as they were turned mortal again. Bye, Charlotte. Miss your sass. 

– What are your predictions for next week's season finale? 

– What do you hope to see next week? 

– Did you enjoy "All the Time in the World?"

  • Comments (70)
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  • salonicioss Jul 05, 2013

    u will call it Constantinoupole not istanbul...damn turkey bitches

  • dragon22a Jul 05, 2013

    Nice to see Giles and Spike back together again, Anthony Head and James Marsters have great chemistry.

    Paracelsus seems to have been bronzed because he fell to the same temptation as MacPherson, using the artifacts for personal gain. However, because he was caretaker of the warehouse rather than just an agent, his abuse of power was a bigger threat. The caretaker shares a unique bond with the warehouse. The warehouse can communicate with the caretaker as it has Claudia and can affect the caretaker as it has Mrs. Frederic. It stands to reason that a strong enough caretaker can affect or even control the warehouse. My guess is that Paracelsus was attempting to do just that, making him a great threat to the world, and the agents bronzed him in response.

    As for where Artie got Claudia's DNA. When he was calling her brother, he said to himself "Don't make me do this." This likely means that Claudia has another family member that she does not know of. We know very little of her parents other than the fact that they died when she was very young and Joshua was left to raise her until he vanished. Maybe Is it possible that Artie has had such a father/daughter relationship with Claudia because he actually is her father or at least her uncle, that he used his own DNA to save her?

  • Sahara888 Jul 05, 2013

    Ooh!! I like the way you speculate. If Artie was a relative, that would really make Claudia hate him for not telling her and open up a whole lot of more interesting questions. I guess time will tell and I also love that Marsters and Head are working together again.

  • umbala-umbala Jul 04, 2013

    Pete's Puscifer Hoodie got the thickness. Can I get a witness. Can I get a hell yeah.

  • erinahbing Jul 03, 2013

    Abigail as the Keeper: bleh.
    It's not her fault. Just it is a bit ridiculous to invent new game rules at the end of the 4th season (e.g. the concept of the Keeper, the warehouse's central nervous system).

  • JT_Kirk Jul 03, 2013

    Every time they said Paracelsus' name, all I heard was "ParisHilton", it was surreal.

    I didn't really understand why Leena wasn't the keeper, and why there was only one keeper in a generation, and like you said how any of that differed from a regent or caretaker, it was a bit silly to throw all this new stuff at us late in the game. That said, I also didn't mind that it gave the character a better reason to be there... I suppose. But that was a wart on an otherwise fine W13 episode.

    Parishilton had done something to Pete & Myka during their fall, and then we don't hear anything about that again, but we hear about Myka going to see her doctor for treatments... yeah, I think W13 just "cured" Myka with a cheat.

    I liked Sutton's mustache, was surprised when it was a stick-on.

    Holy crap, there's another season! I totally forgot! I have no idea what will happen, except Myka will be cured because she can't stay an agent while going through cancer treatments (if she had cervical cancer, perhaps, but not ovarian) and Parishilton will use his dangerous knowledge of the warehouse to mess with things.

  • kanniballl Jul 03, 2013

    I guess you'd want to keep said person secret and separate.

    This way if someone infiltrates the Warehouse, their secrets are safe. And if the Caretaker goes rogue, they have a weapon to use against it.

  • Ninjaandy Jul 03, 2013

    I think this show got its name because it's being written by 13-year-olds being held prisoner in a warehouse full of history encyclopedias, which they can't leave until the crack out the requisite number of episodes.

    Right? Right? That's the only way any of this makes any sense.

    And yet, my wife and I keep watching.

  • Whedonrules Jul 03, 2013

    So I wonder how much fun it must have been on set reuniting Marsters and Head and putting them into the familiar place of playing two characters that hate each other? Jane Espensen must have had a lot of fun writing this episode for her boys. Sad to see Polly Walker go, not to be morbid, but it would have been better had they just written off Nick who thankfully didn't have much to do/say in this episode. Aaron Ashmore was really good in that episode and he had to spend most of it alone; but really sold the fact that the bronze statue was Claudia in peril. The 'Jinx' scenes were all very good. If all the Pete/Myka scenes are going to be this tense/sad going forward it is going to be very tough to watch. I still really question the decision to tack on a dire prognosis this late in the game. That story needs its own time to be told and there just isn't enough time left as this episode made abundantly clear.

  • dh4645 Jul 03, 2013

    the wife & i just looked at each other and shook our heads when the ep was over. it was a jumbled mess of a show.
    hopefully they get everything back on course and have a satisfying ending over the next 7 eps.

    also, on another note, since i havent been in any of these discussions, was it ever said if that original ep with the kids mind being taken over by a professor all part of the plan to get him into the warehouse?

  • Shreela Jul 04, 2013

    IIRC, yes ― The boy's mother Polly's heart broke watching her young son fall in love, only to be forced to watch his loves grow old, or end up having a family with another man once the boy realized his loves would question why they aged while he didn't, so he learned to break things off before that stage in the relationship happened.

    So mother Polly came up with the warehouse infiltration scheme. The writers played us, having us be mad at the boy once it became obvious he was a plant, but later, mother Polly says something like her boy wouldn't hurt Claudia because he liked her. I believe the boy begged his uncle not to bronze Claudia, but his plea was ignored.

  • kanniballl Jul 03, 2013

    Well, I think it was implied. Since at the end of the episode he contacts his mother on the phone and says "I'm in"

  • JT_Kirk Jul 03, 2013


  • kanniballl Jul 03, 2013

    Personally, I'm a bigger fan of "Phrasing!"

    I've started using it at home: Archer for the win!

  • Whedonrules Jul 05, 2013

    'Phrasing Lana"

  • dh4645 Jul 03, 2013

    and the dude being bronzed because he was a threat....that crazy reveal by the keeper was so...uninspired/horrible/thankscaptainobvious

  • scapegraces Jul 03, 2013

    Giles and Spike back together! And they still despise one another!
    I was thinking either all of them or maybe just the parents would be the ones to die after getting mortality.
    The Abigail reveal felt really rushed. It might have been because of all the reveals that they pulled, one coming right after another. Made me feel like I had whiplash.

  • Ralle1988 Jul 03, 2013

    What I'm really feeling is sad, because there are only 7 episodes of Warehouse left, it's effed up that they get a fifth season with only 6 eps that's not even half a season... and I'm not nearly satisfied with the story, there is so much more potential in Warehouse 13

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