Warehouse 13 "Savage Seduction" Review: Ay Dios Mio!

By MaryAnn Sleasman

May 06, 2014

Warehouse 13 S05E04: "Savage Seduction"


Ay caramba. Look, I didn't love Warehouse 13's Season 5 premiere a few weeks back, but at least "Endless Terror," for as tired and repetitive as it was at times, wasn't an utter waste of time. Nor did it require subtitles for half the episode so that those of us who haven't busted out the Español since our sophomore year of undergrad could understand what people were saying in their painful amateur delivery, Pete. Not that anyone was saying anything particularly important, since Warehouse 13's telenovela parody was basically an actual telenovela. Literally no one cares about Maribel and Armando! Just write a damn Pete and Myka episode. It's not like Warehouse 13 hasn't been dancing around the issue for five seasons now. We're in the homestretch. We've already had a proxy couple stand in for Pete and Myka with Ted and Alyse. JUST GET ON WITH IT OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO CORNY SOMEBODY HELP. 

Claudia and Jinks' adventures in fraternal hazing were slightly more entertaining, what with the evil-twin angle and Claudia being the oldest 22-year-old in town. In fact, that was pretty much the only time I wasn't bored to tears. Don't get me wrong, though—I was still bored. 


After last week's excellent "A Faire to Remember" and its focus on yet another reason for Claudia to go back to therapy, the lack of meat in "Savage Seduction" was disappointing. An episode of television can certainly be goofy and still matter in the grand scheme of things—in fact, they're often among a show's best, à la Mad Men's "Far Away Places," Supernatural's "Mystery Spot," and Warehouse 13's own "Don't Hate the Player." Even Scrubs (RIP, MISS YOU), which was silly on a weekly basis, often blended thoughtfulness and cheese in ooey gooey goodness. I'm not anti-wacky or anti-lighthearted television, but I don't mind eating veggies along with my junk food, and all I could think about during "Savage Seduction" was the fact that Warehouse 13 only has six episodes with which to tell its final story, and it wasted one of them on this hottest of messes. 


Meanwhile, we still don't know what AWOL undead Benedict Valda has been up to for the past few weeks—though I'm willing to bet that Coma Claire's recent disappearance can probably be traced back to him. And while Pete and Myka's endgame lovefest was right up at the top of my wishlist for Season 5, all of this hinting and nudging and tip-toeing is so frustrating, especially since the show has had four previous seasons to build it up... and they were also spent hemming and hawing and hopping around.

When Warehouse 13 is good, it's very good, and that's the impression I want the series to leave in its wake. I'm still confident that fans, and the series, will get the ending we/it deserves, but blowing a final-season episode—especially when there are only six to begin with—on a story that reeked of filler shakes that confidence. 



EXTRA ARTIFACTS

– Yes, I get that this was a Cinco de Mayo episode. 

 "I'd say that you can do an exposé on Bill Clinton, but you're late to the party." It makes me sad that an entire generation of kids today will watch '90s era SNL reruns (maybe?) and have no first-hand knowledge of why the Clinton skits are hilarious.

– Claudia: "Kids today." Jinks: "Kids today are YOUR age!"

– So why did (probably) Valda snatch Claire, do you think?

– And if it wasn't Valda, then who? 


What did you think of "Savage Seduction"?


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  • sisylia Jun 24, 2014

    What's the title and the singer of the song when jinksy is dancing? Answer pleasee

  • Ankh49 May 13, 2014

    I can understand why others didn't but, as a fan of Devious Maids (and soap opera sin general) I loved this ep. :-)

  • Jrbettis May 11, 2014

    Funny episode. If you don't take time to smell the roses then when? Every partner isn't your long lost love. X-Files proved that. Awkward afterwards. "You're in love with Mica. Love and IN love two different things!
    Show's final run Hint Donna Fausta's TekaNovela sent her a keep sake.

  • Morlunnis May 10, 2014

    This is probably the only episode this season that I liked.

    I was considering ditching the show after last season, if they hadn't announced a 6 episode final season. The Paracelsus story-arc didn't impress, and evil-Valda's does not impress either.

    At least this episode was fun. Hopefully the last two episodes will be strong, but I'm not that confident. The characters will continue to be excessively goofy in life-or-death scenarios, Pete and Myka will continue to dance around the "will they or won't they" scenario until the last moment, and the stakes will be artificially raised because of PLOT, but in the end everyone lives happily ever after - even if Warehouse 13 goes kablooey and Warehouse 14 is born.

    I used to really enjoy this show. I can't remember when that feeling left. I suppose too much filler, dumping all serialized stuff into a couple of episodes at a time and having 2-dimensional villains probably helped.

  • JennyCalapris May 09, 2014

    Flaming gay Jinks was the BEST!

  • entil2001 May 08, 2014

    Context is everything. If this had been in the middle of the 20-episode fourth season, it would have been a fun diversion. Coming during the very short final season, and on the heels of a terrible misfire of a main plot last episode? Pretty much inexcusable.

  • zsandmann May 08, 2014

    Sorry but that was the best episode this season.

  • AdedayoAdelakun May 07, 2014

    This was a freaking awesome episode, I never stopped laughing from the start to finish!!! I guess different stuff float our boats but boy was this an awesome episode.

  • OdumC May 07, 2014

    I guess I'll be in the minority and say I loved it, laughed all the way through. loved the way Pete's porn Stache blew all over whenever they exchanged the cufflinks.

  • AdedayoAdelakun May 07, 2014

    No u are not, It was freaking awesome

  • DonaldJeffers May 07, 2014

    I know it may have been a waste in a final season, but it was good for a few chuckles and at 3am est that's all i could ask for.

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