...And the Horse He Rode In On

Trivia, Quotes, Notes and Allusions

Quotes (12)

  • Will: I brought you some presents. Here are some twizzlers...
    Grace: And a dictionary?
    Will: Yeah. I don't want our kid to use the word "ironical".

  • Will: Hi, it's Will, is Grace there by any chance? Well if she shows up would you call me? Thank you. Nurse Sheila: Is that her office? Will: No, Benny's Taco on East 74th.

  • Will: I-I-I-I-- I kissed a guy, okay? At that club the other night, the Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay club. I did go, and I met this guy... a hot hot hot hot hot guy. And I know we said we were taking ourselves off the market, but then this, this Pink song came on, and... his shirt came off. And I thought, "I've got two choices here. I can go home, and I can take care of my future baby mama... or I can get this party started." And, Grace...I got that party started. Grace: Don't be so hard on yourself. It's a really good song.

  • Will: What's wrong with me? You broke our pact. Grace: What pack? Will: Not pack, pact. Grace: That's what I said, "pack." Will: No, P-A-C-- Let's take a different tack. Grace: You mean tact. Will: No, tack! Tack, pact! One ends with a "K." One ends with a "T." I know, it's ironical! Look it up in the freakin' dictionary!

  • Grace: How do you have a horse in Manhatten? Leo: I rented him in the park. You know, Some weeks we ride, some weeks we just...get a pretzel.

  • Karen: (Singing): I'm coming out, bop pow! I want the world to know, I got to let it show, I'm coming out (Normal voice) Oh, I AM coming out! (Laughs) OK, patience girls, save it for Lionel!

  • Karen: Take it easy, sleazy. I only came here to give you your key back. I am a married woman! Sure, my husband is an enormous bulldozer of a man who has to be hit with a stun-gun before he can be weighed or medicated, but when I said "I do" to Stan Walker and his attorneys, I meant that to be forever. Lionel: I admire your integrity. Would you care to step inside, take your clothes off and discuss it further? Karen: (Gasps) I would indeed!

  • (Grace enters.) Grace: I know, I know, I know. I'm crazy late. I had an accident. Will: What happened?! And it better not be something stupid, like when you missed my 35th birthday because you ran into a mailbox. Grace: I ran into a lamppost. Will: Grace! Grace: did! I did. Look! A doctor on a horse came up and took me to the drugstore to get an icepack. I'm not making this up. (pouting) I hurt my head. (Grace points to the cut on her forehead.) Will: Your head? Like you keep anything in there. Doctor: Good afternoon. Do we have the sperm? Jack: Okay. You're gonna have to give me a little more notice than that. (Jack exits the room.) Doctor: Why don't you put on this gown, and we'll get started. (The doctor gives Grace a hospital gown and exits. Grace fumbles with the gown trying to unfold it.) Will: Hey, it's not a map of space. It's a gown. Come on, open it! Grace: Stop stressing me! Or our kid'll end up spending eight hours a day chasing his tail. Will: Well, as long as he or she can tell the difference between a lamppost and empty space. (Jack enters, holding up a white paper bag.) Jack: Where's the doctor?

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Trivia (1)

  • This is the first season premier not written by series creators David Kohan and Mak Mutchnick.